I have been asked how one might speak in person and directly to Landover’s beloved leader and inspiration, Pastor Ezekiel (Zeke) Flint.
This is an excellent question as Landover has, since 1620, prided itself (in a very humble way) on the accessibility of all its Pastors to all who seek Salvation. To that end, the following convenient and simple method is used:
However, before we progress, please note, that the necessity to speak to Pastor Flint will only occur if (i) you are still conflicted about the advice received from one of our many Pastors and (ii) it relates to matters that are of public interest to the fundamental issues of Baptist faith and (iii) the conflict is not addressed the Mission Statement (and supplementary documentation) of Landover Baptist Church.
If those very reasonable conditions are met, the following procedure should be followed.
At dawn, lay the carcass of a dove (not a pigeon) on the altar of the Lamentations Flint Chapel. At sundown of that day, a Pastor will appear unto you and he will ask you three questions related to your Faith. If you answer them correctly, he will provide to you a quill with which you will write your name upon the piece of papyrus provided. The Pastor will then instruct you to burn this papyrus in a fire made of tumbleweed. The following morning, Pastor Zeke will appear unto you, and at this point you may ask your question. I must warn you, show due respect and do not look him directly in the eye.
This is an excellent question as Landover has, since 1620, prided itself (in a very humble way) on the accessibility of all its Pastors to all who seek Salvation. To that end, the following convenient and simple method is used:
However, before we progress, please note, that the necessity to speak to Pastor Flint will only occur if (i) you are still conflicted about the advice received from one of our many Pastors and (ii) it relates to matters that are of public interest to the fundamental issues of Baptist faith and (iii) the conflict is not addressed the Mission Statement (and supplementary documentation) of Landover Baptist Church.
If those very reasonable conditions are met, the following procedure should be followed.
At dawn, lay the carcass of a dove (not a pigeon) on the altar of the Lamentations Flint Chapel. At sundown of that day, a Pastor will appear unto you and he will ask you three questions related to your Faith. If you answer them correctly, he will provide to you a quill with which you will write your name upon the piece of papyrus provided. The Pastor will then instruct you to burn this papyrus in a fire made of tumbleweed. The following morning, Pastor Zeke will appear unto you, and at this point you may ask your question. I must warn you, show due respect and do not look him directly in the eye.
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