Let's Not Ask Questions About Trump's Bruised Hands

[Johny Joe Hold]

So much press in being devoted to speculating about the bruises on the back of his hands. First his press people said his right hand was bruised because he shakes so many hands. Then a bruise appeared on his left hand. It's obvious there is something involved the President does not want to reveal.

The worst people in the press are saying the bruises are caused by taking lots of aspirin and the high aspirin dosage was prescribed to the President because of a stroke he is concealing. Obviously, the President is robust and in perfect health. This is not the cause of his bruised hands. The President has most recently given this explanation for the bruises. He takes lots of aspirin because it gives him fresh blood. Let's consider something else.

Melania has not been seen in public for 20 days. The backs of the President's hands show bruises. We know this about our President. He does not tolerate nonsense. We may be looking at a situation where Godly manhood was shown in the Trump family. I would be proud if Melania has a bruised face.

Experts explain why Melania Trump hasn’t been seen in over 20 days

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Amen, Brother Mayor. I'm starting to get tired of all forms of protest - enough is enough.

[Q.Ponce Frottage]

I have to pipe in, has it been considered he's turning into a blueberry like that girl from Willy Wonka?

[Johny Joe Hold]

I have to pipe in, has it been considered he's turning into a blueberry like that girl from Willy Wonka?

Let's please be respective, Mr. Frottage. The bruises could have come from part of the President's fitness routines. Think of practicing the marshal arts or working out with a punching bag. There are several logical explanations.