A Revenue Opportunity for Landover Baptist

[Johny Joe Hold]

There is a new tech thing now marketed by faiths which have no credentials. It is the kind of thing that we should offer because we are Jesus' favorite church and have the world renowned, Pastor Zeke, behind our pulpit. The new thing is this: People dial up a number on their phones or with their laptops or text and ask questions about the Bible. Voices from the Bible, Apostle Paul, John the Baptist or even Jesus, provide authoritative answers.

Before the answer, however, a fee must be paid to Landover Baptist. I'm really optimist our tech people could make this a successful revenue stream.

Text With Jesus launches voicemail-style audio responses from biblical figures

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Genuine prepuce free with every subscription! (*)

(*) May contain pig or animal substitutes.

[Johny Joe Hold]

A lot of people think Jesus doesn't see their sins, especially what they do when the door is closed and it's dark. I think hearing a warning from Jesus directly would wake up many to the seriousness of their sin. The revenue would help us.