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Friends, I have never been able to relate the actual horror of having spent over a decade in the vile, homosexual state of Hawaii, attempting to win catlicks back to the Lord. It is akin to living in Dante's Inferno, where half the people are chinks and the other half are filipinos, all praying to Satan.
We go where the Lord needs us and do our best for the church, but the last year or so has seen a serious deterioration in my health. I cannot swing an axe handle as briskly as I once could and I am not quite as able to rebuke young high school girls who walk about the beach in strings from Brazil, if they bother too put anything on at all. The malls are no better. And the catlicks keep reproducing like rats.
Every day is the same horror. I wake up at 6:30 to a cool tropical tradewind. It's 75 degrees. The maid brings me fresh mango or papaya and I begin another day of writing sermons and ministering to the confused masses out tending their marijuana farms. I try to show them movies about the dangers of the Devil weed, but they say "Whatever, Dude" or the equivalent in some foreign dialect.
I cannot take it any more. I have asked the church to transfer me back to a Christian state and I have been told that there is an opening in a small community about an hour west of Seattle. I have not made a firm decision, but I am seriously considering it. If anyone lives in that area and wishes to donate a small ranch, say 1,000 acres or so with at least a livable (new) home of 10,000 square feet or so and a suitable jet-capable runway, please email me with pictures.
Now it's off to church.
Yours in God
Pastor Al
We go where the Lord needs us and do our best for the church, but the last year or so has seen a serious deterioration in my health. I cannot swing an axe handle as briskly as I once could and I am not quite as able to rebuke young high school girls who walk about the beach in strings from Brazil, if they bother too put anything on at all. The malls are no better. And the catlicks keep reproducing like rats.
Every day is the same horror. I wake up at 6:30 to a cool tropical tradewind. It's 75 degrees. The maid brings me fresh mango or papaya and I begin another day of writing sermons and ministering to the confused masses out tending their marijuana farms. I try to show them movies about the dangers of the Devil weed, but they say "Whatever, Dude" or the equivalent in some foreign dialect.
I cannot take it any more. I have asked the church to transfer me back to a Christian state and I have been told that there is an opening in a small community about an hour west of Seattle. I have not made a firm decision, but I am seriously considering it. If anyone lives in that area and wishes to donate a small ranch, say 1,000 acres or so with at least a livable (new) home of 10,000 square feet or so and a suitable jet-capable runway, please email me with pictures.
Now it's off to church.
Yours in God
Pastor Al
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