Notice: Creation Museum Proposal

[Johny Joe Hold]

NOTICE

This is to notify the residents of Freehold, Iowa, that Mayor Johny Joe Hold will be taking comments for the next 5 (five) days on the following matter:

Mayor Hold has been in negotiations with Mr. Ken Ham, founder of the Creation Muesum in Petersburg, KY, concerning the possibility of constructing a complex to be know as "Creation Museum North" in Freehold, Iowa. The said complex would be located on property newly annexed.

The said complex will require that a sum of money in excess of 10 (ten) million dollars must be presented to Mr. Ham for the purpose of phase 1 (one) construction. To raise this money a tax will be levied on all nonclergy residents of Freehold.

The features of this project will include a Dinosaur Den with mock ups of period children riding dinosaurs, Noah's Art Construction site with mock ups of several pairs of animals waiting while construction takes place and A Walk Through Biblical History which ridicules and destroys the Theory of Evolution. In addition, the project will include a restaurant and gift shop.

Comments on the project and required tax are welcome.

Johny Joe Hold, Mayor

[Mrs. Rogers]

Re: Notice: Creation Museum Proposal

The features of this project will include a Dinosaur Den with mock ups of period children riding dinosaurs, Noah's Art Construction site with mock ups of several pairs of animals waiting while construction takes place and A Walk Through Biblical History which ridicules and destroys the Theory of Evolution. In addition, the project will include a restaurant and gift shop.

Comments on the project and required tax are welcome.

Once the museum is up and running, how about implementing creation science arts/crafts classes for the kiddies? Not only would it help reinforce what they learn on the museum tour, it would be a good little earner! For example:

The materials needed to make a paper chain snake cost next to nothing, and yet you could charge a very reasonable $5 per small-sized snake (additional to booking fee for Creationist Crafts class, and additional to museum admission fee). For longer snakes the museum could charge $8, perhaps? For an extra $1 the child would be allowed to fashion a paper speech-bubble, write upon it "Ye shall not surely die", and glue said bubble to the base of the snake's tongue.

When it comes to creationist craft activities, the possibilities are endless. Glory!

[Levi Jones]

Re: Notice: Creation Museum Proposal

Ehem, I believe what Mayor Hold meant to say is he has a vision for the future on an investment that is going to pay the city of Freehold back 1000x over within 6 years according to our estimates.

All we are asking is a temporary rate adjustment on purchases property levies and income. A very modest 1%-2%.
You'll hardly notice.

The council meeting to discuss it is taking place at midnight Freehold Standard Time. That's about 8 minutes from now.

Allow this to serve as the official public notice of the proposed ordinance.

[Logan]

Re: Notice: Creation Museum Proposal

NOTICE

This is to notify the residents of Freehold, Iowa, that Mayor Johny Joe Hold will be taking comments for the next 5 (five) days on the following matter:

Mayor Hold has been in negotiations with Mr. Ken Ham, founder of the Creation Muesum in Petersburg, KY, concerning the possibility of constructing a complex to be know as "Creation Museum North" in Freehold, Iowa. The said complex would be located on property newly annexed.

The said complex will require that a sum of money in excess of 10 (ten) million dollars must be presented to Mr. Ham for the purpose of phase 1 (one) construction. To raise this money a tax will be levied on all nonclergy residents of Freehold.

The features of this project will include a Dinosaur Den with mock ups of period children riding dinosaurs, Noah's Art Construction site with mock ups of several pairs of animals waiting while construction takes place and A Walk Through Biblical History which ridicules and destroys the Theory of Evolution. In addition, the project will include a restaurant and gift shop.

Comments on the project and required tax are welcome.

Johny Joe Hold, Mayor

Great idea! A biblically accurate museum, why has this taken so long to implement?

[James Dewitt]

Re: Notice: Creation Museum Proposal

Ehem, I believe what Mayor Hold meant to say is he has a vision for the future on an investment that is going to pay the city of Freehold back 1000x over within 6 years according to our estimates.

All we are asking is a temporary rate adjustment on purchases property levies and income. A very modest 1%-2%.
You'll hardly notice.

The council meeting to discuss it is taking place at midnight Freehold Standard Time. That's about 8 minutes from now.

Allow this to serve as the official public notice of the proposed ordinance.

I wonder if its possible to tax non Landover people at a slightly higher rate say 5% to 6% ?

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Notice: Creation Museum Proposal

I had taken that for granted: It is a Biblical Law that we should make money out of atheists, Agnostics, Fluffy-bunny Christians and worshippers of false gods.

De:23:19: Thou shalt not lend upon usury to thy brother; usury of money, usury of victuals, usury of any thing that is lent upon usury:
De:23:20: Unto a stranger thou mayest lend upon usury; but unto thy brother thou shalt not lend upon usury: that the LORD thy God may bless thee in all that thou settest thine hand to in the land whither thou goest to possess it.

I'd go further, I'd tax only the unbelievers.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Notice: Creation Museum Proposal

Once the museum is up and running, how about implementing creation science arts/crafts classes for the kiddies? Not only would it help reinforce what they learn on the museum tour, it would be a good little earner! For example:

The materials needed to make a paper chain snake cost next to nothing, and yet you could charge a very reasonable $5 per small-sized snake (additional to booking fee for Creationist Crafts class, and additional to museum admission fee). For longer snakes the museum could charge $8, perhaps? For an extra $1 the child would be allowed to fashion a paper speech-bubble, write upon it "Ye shall not surely die", and glue said bubble to the base of the snake's tongue.

When it comes to creationist craft activities, the possibilities are endless. Glory!

Thank you for this suggestion, Mrs. Rogers. Our town is alive with discussions about what might be included.

One of the Pastors mentioned is a diplomatic way that Mr. Ham has always been very strong in Christian history, but, perhaps, not as strong in theology. He suggested that for children, we might want to include a little simulated stoning excercise. I like that too.
JJH

[True Disciple]

Re: Notice: Creation Museum Proposal

Mr Hold, this is a Godly idea. You can count on my full support.

I was thinking, we have some pretty clever IT guys at Landover University. Most of the time they spend, of course, calculating hydrologic sorting processes, which, as we all know, created the fossil record duing the Flood. Maybe they can help setting up a Flood Simulator, to give visitors an idea how it was to sit in the Ark, among the elephants, dinosaurs and pterosaurs.

Also, maybe we can do something about cockatrices? I've noticed there was some discussion about this subject lately, and it might be educational to clear these kinds of misunderstandings up.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Notice: Creation Museum Proposal

Mr Hold, this is a Godly idea. You can count on my full support.

I was thinking, we have some pretty clever IT guys at Landover University. Most of the time they spend, of course, calculating hydrologic sorting processes, which, as we all know, created the fossil record duing the Flood. Maybe they can help setting up a Flood Simulator, to give visitors an idea how it was to sit in the Ark, among the elephants, dinosaurs and pterosaurs.

Also, maybe we can do something about cockatrices? I've noticed there was some discussion about this subject lately, and it might be educational to clear these kinds of misunderstandings up.

Great ideas--they are being passed along to the planners as we speak. The potential for such "teaching moments" is almost unlimited.

Maybe the simulated ark ride could be so realistic wet suits would be issued. Of course, we would want the "aroma" of the animals as well.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Notice: Creation Museum Proposal

I forgot to mention a cute idea that a little old lady gave me at the Senior Citizen Center today. "Mayor, Noah will need to be looking at a clipboard to make sure he has all the animals."

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Notice: Creation Museum Proposal

Why not just use real animals? Surely it'd be possible to import a few unwanted elephants, giraffes, and Bengal tigers from failing zoos. Then people could REALLY ride with the animals!

And there being so very many kinds of dogs now, you'd probably want sets of various breeds. With some kennels. Maybe sell "Ark Puppies" in the gift shop for a couple hundred apiece?

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Notice: Creation Museum Proposal

Why not just use real animals? Surely it'd be possible to import a few unwanted elephants, giraffes, and Bengal tigers from failing zoos. Then people could REALLY ride with the animals!

And there being so very many kinds of dogs now, you'd probably want sets of various breeds. With some kennels. Maybe sell "Ark Puppies" in the gift shop for a couple hundred apiece?

Another great idea, Rev. Rodimer. Perhaps Landover Baptist could start another profitable enterprise, dog breeding.

I've been told it is hard to find live dinosaurs and unicorns. But, since they existed only a few hundred years ago, I wonder if scientists have really looked all that hard.

[True Disciple]

Re: Notice: Creation Museum Proposal

I've been told it is hard to find live dinosaurs and unicorns. But, since they existed only a few hundred years ago, I wonder if scientists have really looked all that hard.

Well, we have. We have good information that there are several of them still living in Central and South Africa. The problem is, expeditions there can be quite expensive, and the previous mayor always was a little reserved when it came to funding. Of course, if the city council agrees, maybe we can launch another expedition this summer...

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Notice: Creation Museum Proposal

Well, we have. We have good information that there are several of them still living in Central and South Africa. The problem is, expeditions there can be quite expensive, and the previous mayor always was a little reserved when it came to funding. Of course, if the city council agrees, maybe we can launch another expedition this summer...

Great research, True D. Maybe we could initiate a LOB Unicorn and Dinosaur Recovery Project using some of the new tax revenue.

[True Disciple]

Re: Notice: Creation Museum Proposal

Great research, True D. Maybe we could initiate a LOB Unicorn and Dinosaur Recovery Project using some of the new tax revenue.

I think we still have the old construction plans for tracing and trapping devices of Behemoths. We abandoned the project in 2002 because we couldn't get around the funding of it, which was a result of the costs of the then new Hell House running five times higher than anticipated.

Based on these schemes, I think we can get the project running again in a couple of months, and start doing field research in Africa around February 2011. If they like to, members of the City Council can consult me about the technical details.