Public Notice: Paint Swatch Inspection

[Johny Joe Hold]

Public Notice: New Paint Swatch Inspection Requirement

This is to inform the citizens of Freehold of a new requirement: Swatches of paint to be used on the outside of houses must be brought to City Hall for my inspection.

Recently, one of our Pastors brought to my attention a certain house located at 1515 Devine Road. The house has recently been painted a color that has raised many questions as to what is going on within the house.

While some might argue that it is not the business of City Hall to regulate the color or colors people choose for their houses, we must look at the bigger question. Actually, there are two questions: (1.) Will the color choosen for one's private home have an effect on the value of other homes? (2.) Does the color of one person's home effect the moral standards of people in other homes?

While I will not declare today that there is a prohibited color or colors, it should be know that the "problem house" at 1515 Devine Road is painted lavender. This is not to say that lavender is totally banned. A home owner may have some reason the use lavender on a small piece of trim not facing the street.

I want Freehold residents to understand that I am not "choosing" the paint color for you. I am merely acting as an advisory consultant to you. When you bring in your paint swatch, we can have a visit as to why you might have choosen that color and what the future implications are of that choice. We may agree to invite one of the Landover Baptist Pastors to join the conversation.

I hope all the wonderful residents of Freehold are enjoying these final days of summer.

[Nobar King]

Re: Public Notice: Paint Swatch Inspection

I can't imagine why anyone would want to live in a house any color other than white.

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Public Notice: Paint Swatch Inspection

I can't imagine why anyone would want to live in a house any color other than white.

Our house is natural stone with brown trim. I'm not a white fan as it gets dirty every time it rains. Stone never has to be painted, just power wash it every couple of years.

[Nobar King]

Re: Public Notice: Paint Swatch Inspection

That's different. Some houses are painted.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Public Notice: Paint Swatch Inspection

I can't imagine why anyone would want to live in a house any color other than white.

Nobar, my friend, you are a man of impeccable taste. White is good.

What we do not want reflected in our community is this:

http://www.lavendermagazine.com/

[HTannor]

Re: Public Notice: Paint Swatch Inspection

Brother Johny, thank you very much for being on the alert and stopping this travesty in its tracks.


I didn't even have to click on the link you provided, I just waved my meter over it:



And the meter told me all I needed to know.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Public Notice: Paint Swatch Inspection

Brother Johny, thank you very much for being on the alert and stopping this travesty in its tracks.


I didn't even have to click on the link you provided, I just waved my meter over it:



And the meter told me all I needed to know.

Thank you brother Tanner for introducing high level technology to this problem.

To tell the truth, I am not totally prepared to judge homer paint colors--a little naive actually. Could someone tell me other homer colors to watch for in addition to lavender?

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Public Notice: Paint Swatch Inspection

I'm so envious of your Godly lifestyles. Here in England, there are entire towns just filled with socialist-built council estates which all look like this:

It is a heavy cross I bear.

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Public Notice: Paint Swatch Inspection

I'm so envious of your Godly lifestyles. Here in England, there are entire towns just filled with socialist-built council estates which all look like this:

It is a heavy cross I bear.

This is where the cans of mis-tinted paint go?

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Public Notice: Paint Swatch Inspection

I'm so envious of your Godly lifestyles. Here in England, there are entire towns just filled with socialist-built council estates which all look like this:

It is a heavy cross I bear.

Brother, it looks like a kindergarten threw up!

How do you stand it?

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Public Notice: Paint Swatch Inspection

Brother, it looks like a kindergarten threw up!

How do you stand it?

What jumps out at me about that house are the little areas painted pink. It seems like pink should be banned in Freehold except in cases where the house is occupied by a single woman.

Pink and lavender seem like prohibited colors for houses where a male is present.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Public Notice: Paint Swatch Inspection

JJH, as you know, our little place is made of Burmese limestone and not painted. Our mahogany front door is only lacquered. However, we are painting a mud room a light shade of brown. I'll have a swatch submitted immediately. If it is not suitable, please let my painters "LBC Messengers Of Godly Design" know.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Public Notice: Paint Swatch Inspection

It still say the shade of green I had chosen for my shutters was correct. This is about the first time I have seen Forest Green was rejected for Institutional Green.

[Ofc. Don W. Richards]

Re: Public Notice: Paint Swatch Inspection

As an Officer of the Law, I fully support our mayor in his decision to keep Freehold from becoming a hotbed of immorality.

Think of how many more dangers he is preventing your Boys in Blue from having to face on the streets by advising what colors may or may not be used on a house!

[HTannor]

Re: Public Notice: Paint Swatch Inspection

As an Officer of the Law, I fully support our mayor in his decision to keep Freehold from becoming a hotbed of immorality.

Think of how many more dangers he is preventing your Boys in Blue from having to face on the streets by advising what colors may or may not be used on a house!

Brother Don, I feel very comforted by having you on the street.

I would greatly appreciate it if you could have one of your cruisers roll through my trailer court. Some of the tenents here are, shall we say, somewhat lax, in their approach to "house decor."

A couple of the beaner families favor colors they feel are more representative of the "earth tones" of the desert southwest. I can not handle those "pastel" colors.

This is not to say anything about what the coons use on their trailers. They seem to prefer rust as a color, but I don't think it's something they paint on. I think it's more like they let the factory applied paint wear thin and then let "Mother Nature" take over and let the natural elements take over.

Brother Don, is there a schedule of fines that can be imposed?

For instance, if a beaner is out of compliance, can you whack him for, say, 75 bucks, if he has an earth tone?

If a spade goes with the "rust" color, can he be nailed with, say, 500 or a thousand bucks plus? And here I'm talking about enough to get the coloreds "movin' on down the road?"

Whatever you can do to clean up the park will be appreciated.