[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Freehold's First Tattoo Parlor to Open

My goodness. What a terrible accident.

I've asked the Freehold PD to look into what happened there and file charges against anyone or any group they find merit charges.
JJH

No need to worry about the investigation. Purely by chance, Freehold PD and Bobby-Joe did a survey of that very shop the day before for Health and Safety purposes.

The scenario was almost identical to what actually happened (in the survey, a dog, rather than a cat caused the gas tanker to swerve.)

Freehold PD and Bobby-Joe both independently concluded that the tattoo Saloon was poorly sited and likely to be a danger.

The Pastors have met and agreed that "Act of God" is the only possible verdict, Judge Tannor agreed and will formally endorse that verdict when he gets time.

Case Closed.

[Deaner]

Re: Freehold's First Tattoo Parlor to Open

Well that is perfect. Christ works in mysterious ways. See what happens when you go against His word? Atheists may mock us but Christ always wins. I apologize for my anger but I only pray for your souls. I could not live in peace knowing you had met the same fate. We shall consider this matter closed.

Your Brother In Christ

Deaner

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Freehold's First Tattoo Parlor to Open

It is with some regret that I have to announce that. following a semi hauling a full cargo of gas hitting the All About Faith Tatoos Saloon, a raging fire broke out followed by several small explosions. The owners of the parlor were unfortunately killed by the heat causing their legally held personal protection weapons to fire spontaneously into their heads.

A couple of Bobby-Joe's Boys, who were driving the semi, had been forced to swerve to avoid a cat. They did their best to avoid human habitation and escaped unharmed. They are being celebrated as heroes for the way they calmly walked from the scene and returned to Landover Security HQ.

The matter of tatoos is at an end.

Mayor Hold, if you have any further applications for ungodly abominations, please let Bobby-Joe know. We must be careful that these accidents do not happen again.

My goodness. What a terrible accident.

I've asked the Freehold PD to look into what happened there and file charges against anyone or any group they find merit charges. It being summer, we are short handed this month but I'm sure they will be on it as soon as possible.

I had a call from the Iowa Attorney General. He said the family of the dead tatoo artists had called him to investigate. I said Freehold would carry out its own investigation and report to him. He was not happy with that, but so far he has stayed out of our City.

JJH

[HTannor]

Re: Freehold's First Tattoo Parlor to Open

Private message to the Mayor:

I have come to your defense in the UnGodly attack upon you by someone who doesn't post that often. I'm not sure if he is a Satan-worshiping troll, but likely so.

I have often stood up for you, but if you decide to "hang me out to dry," please remember that pesky child-molestation charge you have pending in my court.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Freehold's First Tattoo Parlor to Open

Request for Tattoo Standards

Friends, I cannot tell you how much I dislike tattoos. I think marking up God's bodies is not what He had in mind for us.

But, I do not find legal grounds for turning down the license request from All About Faith Tatoos. [...]
Johny Joe Hold, Mayor

It is with some regret that I have to announce that. following a semi hauling a full cargo of gas hitting the All About Faith Tatoos Saloon, a raging fire broke out followed by several small explosions. The owners of the parlor were unfortunately killed by the heat causing their legally held personal protection weapons to fire spontaneously into their heads.

A couple of Bobby-Joe's Boys, who were driving the semi, had been forced to swerve to avoid a cat. They did their best to avoid human habitation and escaped unharmed. They are being celebrated as heroes for the way they calmly walked from the scene and returned to Landover Security HQ.

The matter of tatoos is at an end.

Mayor Hold, if you have any further applications for ungodly abominations, please let Bobby-Joe know. We must be careful that these accidents do not happen again.

[Talitha]

Re: Freehold's First Tattoo Parlor to Open

I want to see Chapter & Verse where The Bible instructs us to pollute our God-Given bodies.

[Deaner]

Re: Freehold's First Tattoo Parlor to Open

But, I do not find legal grounds for turning down the license request from All About Faith Tatoos.

We do not need legal grounds; we have the Bible and direct instructions from God not to put markings on our bodies. We at Freehold follow the Bible VERBATIM; as God has also instructed. Are you saying you are about to spit in Christ's face? I see no Biblical argument from you or anybody else to go against Christ's word. Do you have one?

[HTannor]

Re: Freehold's First Tattoo Parlor to Open

My thought then turned into radio chipping the prisoners, they could be chipped and not even know it.

A brilliant suggestion, Brother BAD.

I shall consult with my fellow members of the Freehold Bar Association to see if there are any of those jack-booted nazi Federal regulations boo-hooing over the "cruel and unusual punishment" crap that would prevent this.

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: Freehold's First Tattoo Parlor to Open

At first thought, I was going to take issue with the idea of using precious jail space when I have so many "Bubbas" awaiting sentencing.

On second thought, the tattoo artist sharing space with a Bubba just might keep the queers from getting an ink job.

I had considered suggesting that all convicts or people you know will be convicted of a crime being tattooed to help keep the wheels of justice turning and a quick reference for our fine officers.You know, Keep the jaywalkers separated from the sodimites. I then realized that tattoos could be altered with ink from a ball point pen and a dirty hypodermic needle. My thought then turned into radio chipping the prisoners, they could be chipped and not even know it. All it takes is an injection and it is done. When I put my dog in the kennels he has to have certain shots before being allowed to stay. The prisoners would just be told it is for kennel cough or the flu even. You then have access to their records with the wave of a palm pilot. My question is would the city be able to afford a plan like this or would it necessitate raising taxes for the locals?

[Deaner]

Re: Freehold's First Tattoo Parlor to Open

If the Bible says not to print any marks on you then I'm out. I cannot see a way to get around this teaching.

I used to want to get a crown of thorns around my head with blood dripping all down my face, chest and back until I read that chapter. I've gotten around it by wearing a real crown of thorns and smashing a bottle on the crown of my head to get the blood flowing; sometimes I have to do it a couple of times a day but you don't know how proud I feel.

If we really want to do a tatoo shop it should be for heathens only. For example, when a heathen comes in and wants something satanic like "God loves everybody" inked on their body; we could tell them to close their eyes, relax and then print "Kill Fags" when they're not looking. If they complain we just tell their lawyers that's what they asked for. I can guarantee they're not gonna have a tape recorder on them. They use that kind of money for drugs and such.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Freehold's First Tattoo Parlor to Open

is that supposed to be "where there's a will there's a way"?

& if so, why put it there?

Many Australian women had tatoos of Satan done (as foolish teenagers) when it was a fad, some years ago. Now of course others consider that to be some sort of invitation to lewd "sport" of such wanton variety that there are not words in the English language to describe it. Around here I've noticed people using Makaton sign language instead. It makes me weep.

[HTannor]

Re: Freehold's First Tattoo Parlor to Open

At first thought, I was going to take issue with the idea of using precious jail space when I have so many "Bubbas" awaiting sentencing.

On second thought, the tattoo artist sharing space with a Bubba just might keep the queers from getting an ink job.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Freehold's First Tattoo Parlor to Open

Since content can be regulated wouldn't it be the Police Department who should be monitoring the whole process. Could one of the cells at the jail be converted into a tattoo suite. This would work out as you not only would be able to arrest anyone stretching the bounds of decency right on the spot, the police would be able to add descriptions of the new tattoos right to these peoples rap sheets. After all, anybody getting tattoos are most certainly habitual law breakers anyway.

Thank you brother Davis. Converting a jail cell into a tattoo suite is the kind of out-of-the-box thinking we need in Freehold.

I wonder, too, if we could employ the "tattoo artists" so we could further control what art they do and keep them off drugs and make sure they are not homers?

JJH

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: Freehold's First Tattoo Parlor to Open

Is there a way we can make that illegal so we can have legal grounds?

Since content can be regulated wouldn't it be the Police Department who should be monitoring the whole process. Could one of the cells at the jail be converted into a tattoo suite. This would work out as you not only would be able to arrest anyone stretching the bounds of decency right on the spot, the police would be able to add descriptions of the new tattoos right to these peoples rap sheets. After all, anybody getting tattoos are most certainly habitual law breakers anyway.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Freehold's First Tattoo Parlor to Open

Either homer or hipster. On second thought, isn't "hipster" just a newfangled term for homers?

Hipsters are in to mocking what they see is failing in other people with "irony". In other words viscous, unprovoked attacks which is what gay ass sex really is. So Hipsters are homers.