No Chicken Coops Freehold

[Johny Joe Hold]

My Mayor friends across the country have been talking to me about their "chicken problems". Liberal and old hippies are lobbying several cities to allow chicken coops in backyards.

One with the problem just now is Mayor Voxland up in northwest Minnesota. He tells me all he needs is one more thing for neighbors to complain about. First, it was lawns cluttered with "native plants", and now chicken coops.

People need to know God wants eggs and chicken for frying to come from large factory farms. They are the result of captialism, the system given us by the Almighty.

I will not allow this great principle to be violated in Freehold.

Johney Joe Hold, Mayor

http://www.inforum.com/event/article/id/371856/

[James Hutchins]

Re: No Chicken Coops Freehold

I do not keep chickens in my chicken coop. I have converted it into sleeping quarters for the help by spreading news print on the floor, installing a hanging light bulb and a defecation bucket in the corner. I assume that it is now a 'multi-unrelated personal residence' it would be exempt from the new regulations, correct?

[Nobar King]

Re: No Chicken Coops Freehold

My neighbors have chickens and it's a problem that still needs to be addressed.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: No Chicken Coops Freehold

My concern is that slutty chickens will tempt men into raping them. Since marrying a chicken violates Old Testament laws forbidding bestiality, this could present a problem for a chicken rapist wishing to atone for his misdeed.

[Godfly]

Re: No Chicken Coops Freehold

Back when I was in my twenties I worked in a garage with several young men who grew up in rural areas of Brazil. The boys used to talk about their first sexual experiences and since they were latino, catlickers, and Brazilian all of them did it first with animals. One boy had sex first with a dog, and later several chickens. When asked if the dog tried to get away he answered "no, the dog seemed to like it." when asked about the chickens his answer was "with the chickens, it is rape."

I ask you, why would someone want to tempt their young boys durring their most impressionable years with the sluttiest of poultry? Not to mention the Brazillian perverts it would attract to the town.

Mayor Hold, you have got to put a stop to this now.

[Levi Jones]

Re: No Chicken Coops Freehold

Are you sure you want to ban all chicken coops, mayor? A couple of us have been know to breed guard roosters for our property. We put spurs on their feet and turn them loose in large penned in areas.

I remember you saying how much you like my wife's fried chicken after church the other day.

I know they're a little bit noisy in the mornings, but it's good for everyone for in a three mile radius to wake up when it's time to.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: No Chicken Coops Freehold

We put spurs on their feet

That could solve the problem. Maybe an anti-rape device in their egg chutes as well?

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: No Chicken Coops Freehold

My concern is that slutty chickens will tempt men into raping them. Since marrying a chicken violates Old Testament laws forbidding bestiality, this could present a problem for a chicken rapist wishing to atone for his misdeed.

The punishment for bestiality is execution, Brother.

For both parties involved! Don't need some human-chicken hybrid running around.

Widow Helen keeps chickens, but her chicken coop is well-camouflaged as a Chinese menstra-hut.

[LaQrundrellia]

Re: No Chicken Coops Freehold

Chickens? Where they at?

[Liam the ex-drunk]

Re: No Chicken Coops Freehold

Chickens are also responsible for spreading avian flu, this happened after some slant eye with a cold raped one of them in the Philippines around Janauary 2005. If a chicken sneezes you can catch Avian Flu, it's almost as bad as shaking hands with homer and catching the aids. The graphics below illustrate this.

Chickens being gang raped in Philippinoland notice the flu masks they all wear;


Bird flu spreading to Humans after being spread amongst other birds

[Bjorn Jensen]

Re: No Chicken Coops Freehold

As a fur farmer and factory farmer, i highly support the exploit of animals for profit, there is abolsutely nothing wrong with it, God tells us that we should have dominion over animals, that we should dominate over the animals, what could be more dominating than exploiting them for profit? It's both a good way to make money and follow God's word. I keep my animals in as cheap and tiny cages as possible, cause who cares? They're just stupid animals!

Genesis 1:26
And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.