Killing Bees to Make Shampoo

[H. Montague Worthington]

While watching Fox News-- I love just about every show, from Fox & Friends to The Five to Hannity-- I saw a commercial for Tio Nacho Shampoo made from ground up bees and the queen bee's ROYAL JELLY.

Royal Jelly is the hot new beauty product-- bigger than shea Butter, aloe extract, avocado oil, puppydog tails, and cocoa butter-- and Walmart shoppers are grabbing it up in giant, overflowing armfulls!! Just tell some trailer park trash that the nearby Walmart is giving out free samples of Royal Jelly shampoo, and they'll drive their pickup truck over your knees and stab everyone in the parking lot in the neck to get to the front of the line!!

The trick in making a tidy profit off this greedy and creepy impulse is to re-purpose waste products through advertising and social buzz to become valued, expensive ingredients in beauty products. Imagine if dead Asian workhouse children could be ground up into an expensive antioxidant and amino acid-rich mask that will target fine lines, crow's feet and other signs of aging instead of being simply dumped in a mass grave behind the factory?

Just think if Fracking Wastewater could be revered the same way rhinoceros horn, wild tiger penis, or panda pus? Use your imagination, and the world is your oyster liquor.

[WWJDnow]

Re: Killing Bees to Make Shampoo

It cleans your hair and gets rid of hives.

[Nobar King]

Re: Killing Bees to Make Shampoo

I prefer killing bees to make shampoo over killing babies to make shampoo.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Killing Bees to Make Shampoo

The trick in making a tidy profit off this greedy and creepy impulse is to re-purpose waste products through advertising and social buzz to become valued, expensive ingredients in beauty products.

My nephew Zebulun says making profit on that sort of deal is fine because it's a stupidity tax.

I agree with him but in a more Christian way. It's a duty to give the poor what they want, regardless of why they want it or it has any effect. It is in this way that they will stay poor and "theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven."

The problem is that a lot of people, particularly the poor don't know what they want - it needs a leader to tell them, then they are happy.

I happen to have 228 miles of string. It would be easy to sell except that it is in 4" lengths.

Can you think of something I can do with this?

[Titus Templeton]

Re: Killing Bees to Make Shampoo

No Money, No honey shampoo

[H. Montague Worthington]

Re: Killing Bees to Make Shampoo

Royal Jelly.... the disgusting breakfast spread of Satan!

Also, isn't there something vaguely communist about the heirarchy of bee culture? All the more reason all bees should be eradicated and possibly used as a luxury shampoo ingredient.

[I Man Rastafari]

Re: Killing Bees to Make Shampoo

I would not like to get the bee particles in my naps. Bee shampoo is not a good shampoo for Black people.

[Didymus Much]

Re: Killing Bees to Make Shampoo

Could have sworn I just heard a couple of idiots in here.

Oh well. Off to be thankful that I didn't have an internet with which to embarrass myself in front of the entire globe when I was 13.