DNR: Never Accept CPR from Sinners, False Christians or Atheists
By Professor Elmer G. White and Brother Back Against Wall
God Created us (Genesis 1:27). God decided at the moment or our conception the numbers of our days.
Job 14:5 tells us: “Seeing his days are determined, the number of his months are with thee, thou hast appointed his bounds that he cannot pass.” Psalms 31:15 confirms: “My times are in thy hand: deliver me from the hand of mine enemies, and from them that persecute me.” God knows how long it is good for each and every one of us to live. It is blasphemy to oppose God, to commit suicide, to diminish the days dictated by OUR LORD; or to try to have additional days, to prolong life in an unnatural manner by the means of sickular medicine or science. The Bible proves this:
Matthew 4:7 “Jesus said unto him, It is written again, Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God.”
1 Timothy 6:20-21 “O Timothy, keep that which is committed to thy trust, avoiding profane and vain babblings, and oppositions of science falsely so called: Which some professing have erred concerning the faith. Grace be with thee. Amen.”
Amen! Verily! AMEN!
Now, I lead a life that is consuming. I know this, it is for the good of my mission, it is my contribution to Jesus. I stress over false Christians heading towards damnation, I worry about disgusting homers who fail to hear the Call of Christ. I eat the hearty steaks fried in Godly butter that my wife prepares me. All this is strenuous and consuming exercise. This means that any day now, the most glorious thing imaginable can happen – a stroke, cardiac arrest, or a burst aneurysm! Or an accident. Or my sometimes more playful and imaginative ways of performing marital duties can lead to asphyxiation. Death. Glorious death. Path to God, to Jesus, to salvation.
The society has prepared a trap for all True Christians™ who collapse while spreading Gospel in public places, on the streets, in a Church. It is called Cardio Pulmonary Resuscitation or CPR. It consists of applying pressure on the bare chest and of exhaling once-breathed stale air through the mouth into the lungs of the (unconscious) victim. Lips kissing.
The image contains direct orders for sodomy, as expected. The authorities no longer even attempt to conceal the actual goal: Losing souls for Satan by the devious claim of “saving lives”. Obviously, rectal demons can enter the patient’s mouth and from there it is a rollercoaster ride to the anatomical location of sodomy.
Women! You are not safe, either. Also the cunning demons of Lingus can be transmitted through CPR.
Nor is the patient safe if the person administering CPR is of the opposite sex! In this case, the sins of adultery, extramarital sex and fornication are the inevitable outcomes.
Another potentially special case: children! They are obviously not saved as they cannot repent their sins until old enough (Acts 8:36-37). Thus, one could claim that it would be beneficial to let them grow and, perhaps, hear the Call of Jesus and gain Salvation.
However, for each person saved there are thousands, probably millions that remain in their private false fornicatory bliss and corrupt also the souls of everyone else around them. This means that it is much better to let also unsaved children and infants to die than to oppose God’s plan and apply CPR. In addition, as evidenced by these images, children inevitably get fondled and abused by their “helpers” during CPR – a fate even worse than certain death and eternity in Hell. Also, CHILDREN MUST NEVER ADMINISTER CPR to others. Infants, toddlers and children are unsaved, lusty little creatures sure to contain loads of demons ready to enter the Christian bloodstream and intestine!
Thirdly: the risk of Bestiality (Exodus 22:19). Nowadays they administer these CPR procedures on unclean animals, too. This alone proves that – unless administered by True Christians™ free of sin, these practices must be BANNED! Regardless of your position (patient or helper) you must help only fellow Believers to avoid the transfer of fornicatory spirits.
And, better still, this is a win-win situation! A sinner destined to damnation and HELL only loses a few short years of his/her life that would have been filled with opposing the Works of God anyway. These few years are NOTHING compared to eternity. And during the last fleeting seconds of Earthly consciousness the sinner may have REPENTED. We MUST NOT TAKE that away! As for the True Christian™, Death is not a LOSS but a GAIN. The one exception is missionary work, for which is can be necessary for the True Christian™ to remain in his material body a bit longer. In this case CPR is highly recommended. The same goes for a True Christian™ wife, whose Godly husband is spreading the Gospel: She must remain living to provide continuing services (dinners, clean clothes, marital duties) to the husband.
WHAT TO DO?
All this can be complicated. At the moment of cardiac arrest, one can sometimes experience slight anxiety and feel oneself under a lot of pressure. It is not necessarily very easy to remember all this and make an informed decision to ask for CPR or not. And sometimes a True Christian™ observes a collapsed sinner and ponders if he should “help” the victim. For these emergency situations it is best to have only a few clear guidelines on how to act. I’ve prepared a short memo for A) those who observe a sinner in cardiac arrest and B) for those who experience a loss of vital bodily functions themselves.
A) What to do if you are asked to administer CPR?
1. Pray fervently and loudly. Usually this keeps you from hearing the pleads of the victim and, in my experience, many people avoid you during this. Some handy and comforting verses:
Luke 20:36 “Neither can they die any more: for they are equal unto the angels and are the children of God, being the children of the resurrection.”
Romans 6:5 “For if we have been planted together in the likeness of his death, we shall be also in the likeness of his resurrection.”
1 Corinthians 15:12 “Now if Christ be preached that he rose from the dead, how say some among you that there is no resurrection of the dead?“
2. Panic and continue praying. This will usually clear off any bystanders.
3. If someone else starts to administer CPR, you can try to fight him off by reciting the above verses. In addition, try healing by prayer. If Jesus wishes to save the person, you can help in a much more efficient manner by prayer. Numbers 12:13 “And Moses cried unto the LORD, saying, Heal her now, O God, I beseech thee. ”
B) What to do if you collapse and someone wants to administer CPR to YOU?
1. Check credentials. If you’re conscious, this is easy. Ask if the person is saved, his opinions on homers, etc. It’ll only take a minute, and your brain can last that long without oxygenated blood. You can prolong this phase (if in doubt about the person) by coughing violently. Coughing increases the pressure within the thoracic cavity, compresses the heart and gains you a few extra seconds of consciousness.
2. You might unfortunately be unconscious and unable to interview the wannabe helper. Some people have Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) tattooed on their chests for these emergencies. DO NOT DO THAT. It is forbidden! (Leviticus 19:28). Better to have a handy card (below) that states your preferences regarding the qualities of the person who is about to help you.
3. If the helper is an unsaved person, you can safely put your life in the hands of Jesus, who can heal you if your mission on Earth is still unfinished (Matthew 13:15).
Of course, all this is irrelevant if a True Christian™ is there to help you. For mouth-to-mouth I would recommend an ex-homer as the ideal candidate. For asphyxiation during conjugal relations, the True Christian™ spouse is usually there to administer the treatment.
With the help of Jesus we’ve prepared a handy card to keep by my person at all times. If you’re conscious, you can hand it to the potential helper, if you’ve lost consciousness, you can keep it printed on your undergarments or in your breast pocket where anyone can find it easily.
To conclude, a rhyme to help you remember what to do, what to avoid!
Intensive prayer – YES, Intensive care – DO NOT GO!
Saving souls is OK, saving lives is NO WAY!
CPR – NO NO NO, JCR – to Him we GO!
Basilissa (29-10-2015 05:33 PM): Um, so I have some questions about this information. When God numbered our days, what is us saving the man's physical life was part of the days, so I do not understand why you put that verse here. Resurrection ...
Prayer Warrior (05-11-2015 07:07 AM): CPR is just another attempt by homosexual thugs to force gay sex on us. They know an unconscious person can't fight them off so they take the opportunity to orally rape the other person. Pretty soon ...
Pastor Ezekiel (06-11-2015 04:17 AM): http://i113.photobucket.com/albums/n217/PastorEzekiel/gaylinemen_zpsd89d7028.jpg Amen brother. The CPR is nothing but a trick by Big Gay to turn us all into homersexurals. :bad: ...
Prayer Warrior (21-11-2015 07:50 PM): I've always had my suspicions about CPR. I was bringing up the evils of CPR to a friend and he revealed his dark and deranged past and confirmed my suspicions. He wanted to remain anonymous but was hoping ...
Sup Bruh (29-02-2016 08:53 PM): Where in the Bible does it say God is fair? Book, chapter, and verse please.Where does it say that it doesn't? What if the person wants CPR? I know I would not want to die. Will you just sit there and ...
Basilissa (29-02-2016 09:53 PM): Your God is a bad one if saving a life is a no no to him. Who on this site has led you to believe that God is good like some free-love-for-all hippie? Isaiah 45:7 7 I form the light, and create darkness: ...
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