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Christmas Island: A Godly Holiday Destination or A Den of Depravity?

The Holiday Season is the time to celebrate its reason, Jesus, and to concentrate on prayer and Worship away from the daily chores of evangelizing and rebuking sinners. It came to our attention that a tiny island in the Indian Ocean is dedicated to Jesus’ Incarnation, to His Magnificent Reign on Earth.

Christmas Island.

This small piece of tropical land is an Austrian colony alarmingly close to the heathen-Catholic nation of Indonesia. Still, the very alluring name of this country made us to consider seriously this place as a nice holiday destination for the whole family with relaxation, Church services and uninterrupted prayer on the golden sandy beaches predicting the New Jerusalem (Revelation 3:12) that will shortly emerge on this sodomy-ridden world. Needless to say, once again Satan was there first. The Godly name of this land is irrevocably corrupted by the Enemy. To warn our Brethren and Sisters, We present here the results of my investigation.

1. The shape of the Island

As the principal tool of Satan to turn people away from the narrow path (Matthew 7:14) is sodomy, it is no surprise that the signs of unnatural intercourse are everywhere when it comes to Christmas Island. The geography of this place has been twisted to resemble a common tallywhacker (Deuteronomy 31:17).

Anyone can see that the shape has been carefully re-designed to seduce men. We’ll see in due course that this has been a tremendous success for Satan and a grievous loss for Jesus. But it does not end there. In addition, the shape also depicts two homers entwined in the fornicatory act itself. This is like a neon sign advertising everyone to abandon Jesus (Romans 1:27) for the pleasures of the flesh and the lower intestine (Leviticus 18:22). It depicts two men embracing but we’ve made this image more user-friendly by removing the most offending geographical formations.

Jeremiah 6:2
They are all grievous revolters, walking with slanders: they are brass and iron; they are all corrupters.

2. The demographics

After our initial assessment, my hopes were down and it was already clear that our families would not be visiting this desolate haven of homers. Still, it is necessary to show the world how the good name of Jesus Christ is abused even in the remotest of islands just to mock His sweet birthday. The strip of land is utilized by the Austrian government as a deposit of asylum-seekers from all over the world. This has skewed the demographics of this area to accommodate male-to-male promiscuity in a manner previously unseen anywhere else in the world or in history.

As we can see, Christmas Island is populated almost exclusively by males. This alone would not necessarily indicate that all these 15-75-year-old males would be homosexuals, but as we look deeper into the data, we learn very interesting details as follows:

Population growth rate:
1.11% (2014 est.)

Only 1.11% of the population is able to reproduce. Almost 99% of the men are homers. This must be the world record! And, surprisingly, this is not restricted to the Catholics!

Religions: Buddhist 16.9%, Christian 16.4%, Muslim 14.8%, other 1.3%, none 9.2%, unspecified 41.5% (2011 est.)

Unless the “unspecified” are Catholics (why would they not announce their Papism out loud?), these must be Satan-worshipers. This also makes this piece of land the world record holder of Satanism.

1 Corinthians 7:2
Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

Deuteronomy 11:16
Take heed to yourselves, that your heart be not deceived, and ye turn aside, and serve other gods, and worship them;

3. The pestilence

The Austrian government is also opposing Jesus by promoting vermin swarms on the Island. Instead of controlling harmful critters (Genesis 1:28), the Christmas Islanders seem to be happy to live among swarms of locusts!

Every year these saltwater abominations (Leviticus 11:12) emerge in unfathomable numbers and cover the Island with a writhing mass of Satanic red arthropods further inviting the local males to engage in mock conjugal relations with one another. Car drivers are advised to protects these locusts (2 Chronicles 7:13) until they reach the sea and drown there forever. Similar to the crab lice (Phthirus pubis), the local male population invades (2 Kings 13:20) the streets to be idle and distract the few remaining heterosexuals on the Island.

The Christmas Island red crab looks like this:

And the more well-known crab that spreads through fornication looks like this:

These are probably of the same Created Kind (Genesis 1:21) and this plague of the land-ridden crabs must be caused by the disease crabs being so numerous in the crotch hair of the men that the animals have started to search for new sources of nutrition in desperation as the their population has exploded in the male-only society (Exodus 8:21).

4. The recommendation

Do NOT go there. The name is quite misleading. Jesus has abandoned that Island long ago.

2 Chronicles 7:22
And it shall be answered, Because they forsook the LORD God of their fathers, which brought them forth out of the land of Egypt, and laid hold on other gods, and worshipped them, and served them: therefore hath he brought all this evil upon them.

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Bjorn Jensen (02-12-2015 01:39 PM): Not only is there Christmas Island (in the Indian Ocean), there is Ascension Island (in the Atlantic Ocean) and Easter Island (in the Pacific Ocean) too. Are their names also as misleading? ...
I Man Rastafari (02-12-2015 02:26 PM): Not only is there Christmas Island (in the Indian Ocean), there is Ascension Island (in the Atlantic Ocean) and Easter Island (in the Pacific Ocean) too. Are their names also as misleading? All of these ...
Hank Whitlock (02-12-2015 07:45 PM): Why would anybody want to take a family vacation to a remote island full of Satan worshipping catholic homos? ...
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