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Trump’s Budget: A Biblical Assessment

Glory! Our President Mr. Donald Trump, the Best Friend of Jesus and President Putin, has released His plans to rectify and cure the Nation’s Economy. Of course, no True Christian™ would ever doubt His goodwill and Spiritual Purity when it comes to economics, but it is still worthwhile to scrutinize His Budget against the Truth™ and nothing but the Truth™, the Bible. As we examine the main points of Trump’s Budget we shall realize that He must have consulted the Will of Jesus Christ as transmitted in the Holy Bible when He was preparing this document that will remain to serve as a lesson for the infinite future.

First, the Departments with increased funds.
Department of Defense: $574 billion, +10%
Highly Biblical: The Last Days are a-comin’ and we must be prepared!

  • Joel 3:10 – Beat your plowshares into swords, and your pruninghooks into spears: let the weak say, I am strong. [Do not forget Joel 2:20 as it might predict a Canuck invasion and with this real threat we must be vigilant!]
  • Luke 22:36 – Then said he unto them, But now, he that hath a purse, let him take it, and likewise his scrip: and he that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one.

Department of Homeland Security: $44.1 billion, +6.7%
Highly Biblical: Self-Defence is the Way of Christ!

  • Romans 13:4 – For he is the minister of God to thee for good. But if thou do that which is evil, be afraid; for he beareth not the sword in vain: for he is the minister of God, a revenger to execute wrath upon him that doeth evil.
  • Exodus 22:2-3 – If a thief be found breaking up, and be smitten that he die, [there shall] no blood [be shed] for him.

Department of Veterans Affairs: $78.9 billion, +5.9%
Highly Biblical: Any Soldier doing the Will of Trump is doing the Will of Jesus!

  • Joshua 1:9 – Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.
  • John 15:13 – Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

Now, before we move on to budget cuts, we must assess our disappointment about the data above. Why are the increases so tiny? These small increases are worth only of $52 billion! Why not much more? Here we must understand that this is only the first year of the Presidency. We’ll get there eventually, and this is a good start. Let us support President Trump despite the slight disappointment. Now we can move on to the budget cuts, which are even more delightful!

Department of State and USAID: $25.6 billion, -28.3%
Extremely Biblical: This money has been spent on false Christians including Muslims and Catholics, foreign cultists and strangers!

  • Romans 16:17 – Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them.
  • Galatians 1:8 – But though we, or an angel from heaven, preach any other gospel unto you than that which we have preached unto you, let him be accursed.

Department of Agriculture: $17.9 billion, -20.8%
Extremely Biblical: We are on Earth to get a speedy entry pass into Heaven, not to overindulge ourselves with gluttony.

  • Luke 4:4 – And Jesus answered him, saying, It is written, That man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word of God.

Department of Labor: $9.6 billion, -21.4%
Extremely Biblical: We acknowledge that man should work but if someone fails to attain this, it is because of his failure to have Faith™ in Jesus and pray properly.

  • 2 Thessalonians 3:10 – For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat.
  • Philippians 4:19 – But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
  • Matthew 6:31-32 – Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?

Department of Justice: $16.2 billion, -20.2%
Extremely Biblical: Jesus will judge us. The current system of false judges is just undermining Trump’s attempts to protect us and it must be ousted by a Godly judiciary system that assumes guilt unless proven innocent!

  • James 2:10 – For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.
  • Acts 10:42 – And he commanded us to preach unto the people, and to testify that it is he which was ordained of God to be the Judge of quick and dead.

Department of Health and Human Services: $65.1 billion, -16.3%
Extremely Biblical: The failed health services will be eventually replaced by Prayer Healing. Those who have adequate Faith™ will be healed and the others won’t deserve it anyway!

  • Acts 4:30 – By stretching forth thine hand to heal; and that signs and wonders may be done by the name of thy holy child Jesus.
  • James 5:16 – Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

Department of Education: $59 billion, -13.5%
Gloriously Biblical: We need to listen to the Authorities (Jesus and Trump) and read the Bible and that is all there is to it! This can be supplemented by Creation Science for those of us who are intellectually superior to others!

  • 2 Corinthians 10:8 – For though I should boast somewhat more of our authority, which the Lord hath given us for edification, and not for your destruction, I should not be ashamed:
  • 1 Timothy 6:20 – O Timothy, keep that which is committed to thy trust, avoiding profane and vain babblings, and oppositions of science falsely so called:
  • 2 Timothy 3:16 – All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:

Department of Housing and Urban Development: $31.7 billion, -12%
Extremely Biblical: It is a good thing to have poor people in order to make it possible for True Christians™ to gather Prestige Points by Charity. It we had no more poor, the Will of God would be soiled. Besides, Jesus never worried about housing.

  • Mark 14:7 – For ye have the poor with you always, and whensoever ye will ye may do them good: but me ye have not always.
  • Matthew 8:20 – And Jesus saith unto him, The foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man hath not where to lay his head.

Department of Transportation: $16.2 billion, -13%
Extremely Biblical: The only reasons for travel should be military campaigns and spreading the Gospel!

  • Joshua 10:7-8 – So Joshua ascended from Gilgal, he, and all the people of war with him, and all the mighty men of valour. And the LORD said unto Joshua, Fear them not: for I have delivered them into thine hand; there shall not a man of them stand before thee.
  • Mark 13:10 – And the gospel must first be published among all nations.

Those were the principal points of Trump’s Budget. Again, we might be slightly disappointed about His relatively minor cuts concerning un-Godly activities, but, again, it’s just a start and a huge one. Moreover, we must look at some particular examples to see that things are even better than they seem. Some harmful agencies will cease to exist altogether under the iron fist of The Donald! Praise Him! I’ll cite below only some of the most important examples as follows:

  • African Development Foundation ($26 million): A foreign aid agency that works on economic development in Africa.
  • Chemical Safety and Hazard Investigation Board ($11 million): Created by the Clean Air Act of 1999, they investigates chemical accidents.
  • Corporation for National and Community Service ($771 million): They’re best known for the Americorps program.
  • Corporation for Public Broadcasting ($485 million): Supports public television and radio stations, including PBS and, indirectly, NPR.
  • Institute of Museum and Library Services ($231 million): Helps fund the nation’s 123,000 libraries and 35,000 museums.
  • U.S. Trade and Development Agency ($66 million): This agency promotes U.S. exports in the energy, transportation, and telecommunications industries.
  • Legal Services Corp. ($366 million): A congressionally chartered organization to provide free civil legal advice to those who can’t afford it.
  • National Endowment for the Arts ($152 million): Created in 1965, they support participation in the arts in communities.
  • National Endowment for the Humanities ($155 million): They support “research, education, preservation, and public programs in the humanities.”
  • Neighborhood Reinvestment Corp. ($175 million): They support affordable housing programs.
  • U.S. Institute of Peace ($40 million): A federal institution that focuses on conflict prevention around the world.
  • U.S. Interagency Council on Homelessness ($4 million): They help coordinate government efforts to reduce homelessness.

This means no more Godless arts, museums depicting nudes in marble, libraries filled with trash and evolutionary lies and fake news, prevention of false Christians and strangers fighting each other thus making it easier to Jesus come Rapture (1 Thessalonians 4:17). Overall, the Budget is even more Biblical than previously presumed! Praise Jesus!

No onto the major disappointment.

EPA: $5.7 billion, -30.5%
Not very Biblical: Why oh why did The Donald not dismantle this hotspot of atheism. Who worries about the state of the biosphere when it’s going to be destroyed in the very near future anyway, as Jesus dismisses this sinful place for a Better One (Revelation 21:1)? We can only pray that the the Republican Congress rectifies this mishap as soon as possible to make the Budget Balanced and Totally Biblical. Otherwise, our soldiers will have died in vain!

  • Revelation 8:7 – The first angel sounded, and there followed hail and fire mingled with blood, and they were cast upon the earth: and the third part of trees was burnt up, and all green grass was burnt up.

Yours in Christ,