God's News Ticker

Vaccinate your Child!

There are few people realize that for the past 400 years, Landover has run a vaccination program from which not only the children of the Godly have benefited by extended, happier, and healthier lives! Others outside the fold have benefited also, and America has become a far better place. We need to ensure there is no backsliding! 

I hear too many people today speaking against vaccination; they are all damnable false prophets! They are worrying, entirely unnecessarily about mysterious “adverse side effects” ranging from “listlessness” all the way up to “abnormality and brain damage” when these so-called “side effects” have all been dismissed by people who know far more about the matter than they ever will!

This hysteria and stupidity is just so much garbage! Even Pastor Zeke himself has decried this “Fake News” and yet here we are reading reports of moronic mothers, pussy-whipped fathers, and people who really should know better railing against vaccination. 

They release their filthy spawn into a pure pool, and these vile abominations do their best to pollute the body and mind of Christian children, all of whom have been vaccinated (at no small cost!)

IS THIS WHAT YOU REALLY WANT FOR YOUR (AND JESUS’S) DEAR CHILDREN?
The following Ordinance has been passed:
As of July 8, The Year of Our Lord 2019, no unvaccinated person shall set foot within the gated community and precincts of Landover or part or parts thereof, neither shall he cause, permit, or otherwise assist, directly or indirectly, knowingly or unknowingly, an unvaccinated person so to do.

Get vaccinated! Get your children vaccinated! DO IT NOW!

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Replies:
BrotherLarry (09-06-2019 09:13 PM): My face is as scarlet as once were my sins. I apologize to you Brother and I just came from a session in my prayer closet repenting for my ignorance - which is unbecoming a True Christian (tm). ...
Dana723 (09-06-2019 10:43 PM): You could call it VBS as in Vaccination Bible School instead of that Vacation Bible School as some churches do. ...
Scoutman03 (13-06-2019 02:36 PM): But you guys were all saying "Vaccines aren't mentioned in the bible! They cause autism!" What made you guys change your minds? Also, to get vaccinations go to a doctors office. ...
Didymus Much (13-06-2019 04:01 PM): ...What made you guys change your minds? ... :facepalm: They aren't getting shots. They're praying. Because they don't know what words mean. And by all available evidence, neither do you. :thumbdown: ...
Mary Etheldreda (13-06-2019 04:27 PM): But you guys were all saying "Vaccines aren't mentioned in the bible! They cause autism!" What made you guys change your minds? Also, to get vaccinations go to a doctors office. Oh Good Lord, your mother ...
BrotherLarry (14-06-2019 04:40 PM): Oh Good Lord, your mother dropped you on your head as a baby didn't she? :facepalm: Just out of curiosity Sister Mary, did your daughter get her baby vaccinated? ...
Show all 11 replies.