God's News Ticker

Freehold Offers Asylum to Straight Swedish Women

Attention All Straight Swedish Women:

– Did you know that all your good looking Swedish men spend more time looking at themselves in a mirror than looking at you? Yes, they are all gay now.

– Are you disturbed that all those “toxic masculinity” wolf whistles you get on the street now are coming from lezbean bull dykes?

– Are you fed up with the high taxes of your socialist country that go to pay for a useless Monarch named “Gustaf”, and support welfare for violence prone mooselimbs that refuse to go to work making Volvo’s?

– Are you sick and tired of hearing the mooselimb call to prayer five times a day?

– Are you fed up with the rising crime rates, sexual assault, and rape in your cities – mostly from members of the “religion of peace”?

– Are you disgusted with your soy boy politicians that refuse to resist Nazi Angela Merkel’s calls for “diversity”?

Let’s face it, Sweden is fast becoming a shithole country like the rest of Europe and the EU and it’s time to get out now before it gets much worse. Freehold, Iowa and the Landover Baptist Church is offering Asylum to all straight Swedish women.

– Thankfully Sweden kicked out the cathylicks, joined the Protestant reformation – and you’re one step closer to becoming a True Christian™ and assuring yourself a place in Heaven.

– Freehold is mooselimb free, has low taxes, offers free firearms training, and Trump has promised that America will never be a socialist country.

– Freehold has a large population of virile single and straight manly men that are looking for wives to produce Soldiers for Christ.

– It’s been said that blonds have more fun, and there is plenty of fun right here in Freehold – with its many minstrel shows, festive book burnings, Bible (KJV1611) festivals, and Bible re-enactment pageants.

– Bring all your favorite Swedish meatball recipes, they will be a hit with all our Church potlucks and will be a welcome addition to the soy free diets of our Christian citizens.

There is no time like the present to sign up now, introduce yourself and post your picture – you’re one step away from being granted asylum and moving to a new life in Freehold.

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Replies:
Dr. Anthony J. Toole (11-07-2020 02:21 PM): Schweizer m (genitive Schweizers, plural Schweizer, female Schweizerin) Swiss person Swiss Guard milker, person who milks cows (Catholic) sacristan doorman I watched again looking carefully for a Catholic ...
Johny Joe Hold (25-07-2020 12:11 AM): Apparently, Sweden has allowed many men from the Middle East to migrate into the country. They are prone to rape Swedish women. My image of Sweden is one of a rural country, blond milkmaids milking cows ...
Philemon (31-07-2020 07:42 PM): Apparently, Sweden has allowed many men from the Middle East to migrate into the country. They are prone to rape Swedish women. My image of Sweden is one of a rural country, blond milkmaids milking cows ...
Philemon (31-07-2020 08:26 PM): Mr Mayor, sir, I would kindly offer you my expertise in how to handle swedish women. they are a handfull... freehold is maybe not ready for schweizenhttps://memeguy.com/photos/images/-norsemen-328211.png ...
Alvin Moss (31-07-2020 09:38 PM): One issue that has not until now been raised publicly is that a number of the Swiss women who have asked for asylum in Freehold have turned out to be men in disguise. They were in violation of a number ...
Johny Joe Hold (31-07-2020 10:07 PM): Sweden has women struggling with their sexuality as well. It was one of the first countries to legalize evil homosexual marriage. No doubt the entire country is a den of sin. The good news is that perhaps ...
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