God's News Ticker

Coronavirus is no reason to cancel Sunday services

By Pastor Ezekiel

Are you trying to Jew Jesus, people?!

There have been false rumors spreading about some people contracting the virus from me and Donnie, and that we should get self-isolated and tested for the disease.

Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith? (Matthew 8:26).

Jesus would never allow some sort of disease enter me or Donnie! We are both in perfect health.

I have also heared some rumors that some members of our church have been thinking about not coming to the church this Sunday out of fear of contracting the virus.

Seriously, people? You say you believe in Jesus but you don’t believe He will protect you?
Quote:

Psalm 91:2 I will say of the LORD, [He is] my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.

Even snake handlers have more faith than you people!

Anyone who does not show up to church this Sunday can say goodbye to Landover Baptist forever!

And when you are there, don’t you even THINK about weaseling out of shaking hands and embracing your Pastors and other members of the congregation.

And DO NOT use hand sanitizer, it makes your hands all yucky and sticky.

And remember this: if anyone shows signs of the sickness afterwards, it is ALL YOUR FAULT, SINNER!

Disease is a sign of God, sent by Him to those who displease Him. God sees you and judges you!

Quote:

Deuteronomy 28:58-61
58 If thou wilt not observe to do all the words of this law that are written in this book, that thou mayest fear this glorious and fearful name, The Lord Thy God;
59 Then the Lord will make thy plagues wonderful, and the plagues of thy seed, even great plagues, and of long continuance, and sore sicknesses, and of long continuance.
60 Moreover he will bring upon thee all the diseases of Egypt, which thou wast afraid of; and they shall cleave unto thee.
61 Also every sickness, and every plague, which is not written in the book of this law, them will the Lord bring upon thee, until thou be destroyed.

So don’t displease God, keep coming and keep the tithes coming, too! The jet isn’t going to pay for itself, is it?!


Replies:
its_faith (22-03-2020 12:01 AM): A true Christian does not fear the virus for God only gives pestilence to the wicked! If he gives it to a true Christian then its ascension time! :innocent: ...
MitzaLizalor (22-03-2020 08:57 AM): God is very straightforward on this. Upon request each and every ailment will be healed. The question of why a Christian became ill in the first place has always puzzled me though. First of all in Mark's ...
Isabella White (22-03-2020 02:13 PM): God is very straightforward on this. Upon request each and every ailment will be healed. The question of why a Christian became ill in the first place has always puzzled me though. God's message is important ...
Basilissa (24-03-2020 04:23 PM): We really should applaud Pastor Zeke for being a True Spiritual Leader just as our Godly President is a True Government Leader in these times of tribulation. After Pastor Zeke's announcement, other Godly ...
Prayer Warrior (03-04-2020 07:42 AM): We really should applaud Pastor Zeke for being a True Spiritual Leader just as our Godly President is a True Government Leader in these times of tribulation. After Pastor Zeke's announcement, other Godly ...
MitzaLizalor (03-04-2020 09:21 AM): Catholic church not having holy water in the lobby. How holy is the water then? That should be a sign to you that your whole religion's a fraud. Any faith that doesn't work in real life is a fake faith.Telling ...
Show all 43 replies.