God's News Ticker

Masturbation is Causing the Corona Virus

By Johny Joe Hold, Mayor of Freehold

I’ve been trying to figure out why more people keep getting the Corona Virus. It doesn’t seem to be because they are unhealthy or live in unsanitary conditions. After one has eliminated all the other possible causes we’re back to sin.

So, the question then is which sin in God punishing us for? We know he hates homerism. But there are so few of them it doesn’t seem like he would do a broad brush punishment. And, some homers are not getting sick.

This thing is world wide. The sin God is punishing the entire human race for has to be one broadly practiced. There is only one such sin, masturbation. God is literally killing people for committing this terrible sin.

When people learn their lesson, God will call off the disease. Let’s all do our part to stop the Corona Virus.
Replies:
Dennis Lukes (25-07-2020 07:54 PM): I hate to be the one bringing this up, but I'm thinking these Catholic convents are places which have angered God. Recently, 13 nuns died quickly from the virus. Convents have no men so, of course, we ...
shortstack9797 (29-07-2020 07:48 PM): Only the missionary position with the man on top, dominating the wife is acceptable to Christ. The wife must never be on top because the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, ...
Basilissa (29-07-2020 08:13 PM): If the wife is the 'head,' She is not. I hope that was helpful. ...
Black man (30-07-2020 09:31 AM): Masturbation don't cause covid ...
Johny Joe Hold (30-07-2020 01:16 PM): Masturbation don't cause covid Mr. Black man, you need a crash course in science and in common sense. For the science, I'd recommend reading all the thread under the title Creation Science. You will learn ...
Mary Etheldreda (30-07-2020 05:40 PM): Masturbation don't cause covid I noticed you provided no proof for your claim. You atheists like to say how superior and rational and intelligent you are when all the while all you do is spout some absurd ...
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