God's News Ticker

Masturbation is Causing the Corona Virus

By Johny Joe Hold, Mayor of Freehold

I’ve been trying to figure out why more people keep getting the Corona Virus. It doesn’t seem to be because they are unhealthy or live in unsanitary conditions. After one has eliminated all the other possible causes we’re back to sin.

So, the question then is which sin in God punishing us for? We know he hates homerism. But there are so few of them it doesn’t seem like he would do a broad brush punishment. And, some homers are not getting sick.

This thing is world wide. The sin God is punishing the entire human race for has to be one broadly practiced. There is only one such sin, masturbation. God is literally killing people for committing this terrible sin.

When people learn their lesson, God will call off the disease. Let’s all do our part to stop the Corona Virus.
Replies:
Bootsy Shorty Invertebrate (25-08-2020 12:13 AM): I was referring to the oval office brothers and sisters. Sorry for any confusion. ...
Timmaye (01-09-2020 10:14 PM): How can a young boy interested in Christianity stop masturbation? I feel guilty for spilling my seed but I always feel like my body "needs" to do it. Let us not forget about the evil that is masturbation ...
Elmer G. White (02-09-2020 05:08 AM): How can a young boy interested in Christianity stop masturbation? I feel guilty for spilling my seed but I always feel like my body "needs" to do it.Dear Person, Obviously, it is not enough to "be interested ...
Timmaye (02-09-2020 12:08 PM): Thank you, I've been looking through the forum some and realizing its a bigger issue to do than i thought. ...
Basilissa (02-09-2020 01:25 PM): Thank you, I've been looking through the forum some and realizing its a bigger issue to do than i thought.Well then, hello and :welcome: to our forum! Whenever you are ready, please feel free to stroll ...
MitzaLizalor (04-09-2020 09:20 AM): https://www.landoverbaptist.net/images/bluesaint/buttons/viewpost.gif https://www.landoverbaptist.net/images/bluesaint/buttons/viewpost.gif https://www.landoverbaptist.net/images/bluesaint/buttons/viewpost.gif ...
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