Since the beginning of the balonavirus “crisis”, the media has tried to browbeat Christians with the claim that churches are hotspots of viral spread. Now the numbers are in. A study shows that entering a house of worship multiplies your chance of infection — not double, not five, ten, or a dozen times, but 16 times!
Well, so what?
Not the Landover Baptist Church!
Remember that the survival rate of this “deadly disease” is 99%. Should you find yourself counted among the unlucky few that actually manage to die from this thing, you were almost certainly on death’s door to begin with — whether you knew it or not. For the rest of us, it’s little more than a mild cold. Indeed, millions test positive without ever experiencing a single symptom, a fact that casts doubt on the very existence of this so-called pandemic.
But what if the near-impossible somehow happens, and you die of COVID-19?
It doesn’t matter.
Really, don’t even worry about it. Your lungs may feel like they’re full of tar, you may be too weak to open your eyes, but if you’re a True Christian and you know your place in Heaven is secure, you’ll be rejoicing even as you choke out your last breath. Because death is temporary. It’s what happens afterwards, and where your soul ends up, that should be of concern.
And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.
It is an act of obscenely blasphemous arrogance — and immense idiocy — to elevate the wellbeing of your earthly body over your immortal soul.
Let me be clear about this: if the virus is in fact real, and behaves the way we are told it does, then there is a terrific chance that you will catch it at one of our services. We take no precautions against it. Masks of any kind are banned — have always been banned — as they provide concealment for profane mutterings. “Social distancing” is also frowned upon as contrary to the spirit of Christian fellowship.
We even have members of our congregation with active infections. They’re coughing, they’re hacking, they’re spewing spittle everywhere. Why? Because they’re shouting Glory to God! (Really, try to make a joyful noise unto the Lord without letting a few drops fly. You will find it quite difficult.) They deserve to be among us as much as anyone else.
If having the coronavirus raging unchecked inside your body is the apple of your eye, so to speak, you could do no better than to pay us a visit at 9:00 a.m. on Sunday.
And you should do so.
Because that’s also the best way to ensure that you go to Heaven instead of Hell. Which is pretty important, isn’t it?
I speak for every Christian I know when I say that I would rather go to church, contract the virus, AND DIE… than stay home. Even if staying home meant that I could have avoided infection. Even if skipping just one service could keep me safe.
I wouldn’t do it.
Nor should you.
Because if you put the health of your body before your duty to God, you will soon find yourself with much, MUCH bigger problems than a microscopic virus.
Basilissa (17-11-2020 08:26 PM): Excellent points, Sister! There's another argument that can be made to support your thesis. Going to church during the pandemic and subsequently dying is a bit like martyrdom: dying for (and because ...
Cranky Old Man (18-11-2020 12:44 AM): Having been blessed with Covid-19 myself, I could not agree more. Dying of Covid-19 is a great wat to prove to Jesus that you can suffer enough to deserve entrance to Heaven. Unfortunately I didn't die ...
Johny Joe Hold (18-11-2020 04:26 AM): The general public gets so mixed up about priorities. Church, at least Landover Baptist, guides them to an eternity in heaven. Note the word eternity. Skip church and spend eternity burning in hell? Who ...
Isabella White (18-11-2020 03:59 PM): Remember that the survival rate of this "deadly disease" is 99%. Should you be counted among the unlucky few that actually manage to die from this thing, you were almost certainly on death's door to begin ...
Gunluvr (29-11-2020 03:16 AM): I've been away for a while but my sentiments and beliefs have never been stronger. This is one of the biggest cons in modern history but as my namesake implies soon it will be time to put up or shut up, ...
Show all 5 replies.