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Eucharist Information for Catholics

By Ezekiel Bathfire, Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance

When sitting in one of your social gathering places surrounded by plaster saints and other graven images, and as you waited for your turn to take the knee, you must have wondered “How long does it take someone to eat and drink a whole Jesus”
Assume that Jesus was 5’10” and weighed 180lb. Of that 1.5 gallons will be blood.

A pint of blood weighs 1.09lb – 12 pints = 13.08lb. = 209¼ oz

Jesus’s body, minus blood, weighs 165.92lb

A communion cracker (a Death cookie) weighs 0.141oz

Jesus’s body weighs 2,654¾ oz = 18,828 Death Cookies.

The wine in a bottle weighs 26½oz – 8 bottles = 209¼ oz = His Blood

The Catholic church recommends 0.08oz per mass per person – the cautious fishhead priest will get 328 servings out of a bottle.

To drink 8 bottles, you need to attend 2,624 masses.

For the average papist, there are 56 obligatory masses in a year and whereas it will only take only 46 years and 10 months to crack the blood-count, it’s going to take 336 years to get the body-weight of death cookies up to par.

The Whore of Babylon saw this coming and now offers 2 daily masses on all other days – another 618 masses. This means that with the possibility of attending 674 masses a year eating the body weight of Jesus can be achieved in 27 years and 11 months, and the blood-count can be attained in a mere 3 years and 10 months.

With a few funerals, marriages, christenings, etc. the dedicated minion of the anti-Christ could improve on this.

A whole Jesus is not beyond you… Go for it!

Dennis Lukes (13-10-2021 02:08 AM): :devil:No Scripture though, I noticed. One very easy reference to remember because it has all twos in it is II Peter 2:22 he is referring to Isaiah but there are other passages; in none of them is vomit ...
handmaiden (16-10-2021 11:55 PM): There's no point to growing up as an idolatrous Catholic if I can't supply a little insider information. Last time I had one on my tongue, the communion wafer was just that--a wafer--not a cracker. It ...
Unfalsifiable (19-10-2021 05:21 PM): I hear they just chuck them in some broth and ladle "Him" out if they are short on time. https://i.redd.it/6knvwm2s7kt51.jpg ...
handmaiden (19-10-2021 09:20 PM): In Mexico, they probably could use the wafers for dipping into guacamole. ...
Isabella White (23-10-2021 10:54 PM): ...
MitzaLizalor (24-10-2021 08:57 AM): I must say that priest looks most unresponsive to her facial communication. Do they even wash? ...
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