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Landover CARES! – Landover’s response to the abortion crisis

Here at Landover Baptist Church we’re often portrayed as being judgmental white males who love Jesus, Toby Keith, Kanye West and the drool we slurp as we “grab’em by the pussy”. Ha ha ha ha Our Lord is good… But we have a softer, more liberal side that comes out in a manly way to our homes and communities when times get tough. AND WE WHITE MALES UNDERSTAND! that in the wake of the Supreme Court’s ruling making abortion illegal, there’ll be boat-loads of poor women suddenly forced to drop their spawn. We can’t have that! ….Which is why we’ve prayerfully decided — with the Lord’s gracious blessing — to spend a huge chunk of Church capital sending home abortion lovebaskets to women in need. Our ministry will extend our compassionate love to those women who live in the typhus-infested border towns of the Rio Grande, the rural – and practically inaccessible, to anyone with a working sense of smell — parts of Mississippi, Alabama, South Carolina and Tennessee, and to the most blighted areas of Detroit, New Jersey, the Los Angeles tent cities, and all of Boston and New York. We will make our love baskets available to women on demand — with no questions asked — and we’ll assume they want to assert their colored freedom of choice and control their supple, tawny bodies. Our abortion-inducing love kits will include the following, with complete instructions on aggressively using these abortion aids to induce benign results.

insertion of leeches or cayenne pepper into the vagina
swallowing gunpowder
throwing oneself down the stairs
hitting oneself in the stomach with a meat pulverizer
consuming turpentine
spending a night in the snow
consuming opium
consuming tansy oil
using the fungus ergot

Will no one shout Hallelujah with JESUS!!


Replies:
KarenLovesGod (28-07-2022 08:14 AM): You are right sir. Personally I think women have NO right to kill a baby, I had 8 children with a 9th on the way. I love my children, AND these women will love there children. God made these children ...
Larry Lee (28-07-2022 10:40 AM): You are right sir. Personally I think women have NO right to kill a baby, I had 8 children with a 9th on the way. I love my children, AND these women will love there children. God made these children ...
Johny Joe Hold (28-07-2022 02:04 PM): We are going to need Iowa border checkpoints for all outgoing traffic along the borders of the baby murdering states Minnesota and Illinois. We can't just allow our women to cross freely into these states, ...
Adam Fag (28-07-2022 02:42 PM): ...
Johny Joe Hold (28-07-2022 07:14 PM): Or did she? If the man had picked one of the mates God showed him, of which there were a lot, would there be an Eve in the first place? Mr. Fag, I think it is difficult for homers to understand there ...
handmaiden (01-08-2022 12:08 AM): When you need to protect the Right to Life against the evils of abortion, you need don't want to bring a mere knife to a gun fight. A preacher armed with a semiautomatic rifle showed up at Beto ORourkes ...
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