The Landover Baptist Church Forum - Anal Beads. Satans Rosary? ADULTS ONLY PLEASE!

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Re: Anal Beads. Satans Rosary? ADULTS ONLY PLEASE!

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Originally Posted by JCisazombie (Post 626932)

So I found this thread because of Stumbleupon (which I'm sure you all think is a tool of Satan).

Anything that can lead to sin can be used by Satan as a tool.

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Are you guys serious?

Yes

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Pastor Ezekiel calls someone a whore and doesn't even know them. You guys call yourselves Christians? And you probably wonder why so few people like you.

We are all Christians here. We follow EVERY word in the Bible and don't just pick and choose like false christians. And the reason only a few people like that is because only a few people don't want to live their lives in sin and debauchery.

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I'm all for religions, you can worship whoever you want, I don't care. I don't believe in God, but I don't run around and tell people to not believe.

And yet here you are, on a privately owned Christian forum mocking us.

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If they believe, good for them, not going to ruin my mood. But I find it kind of funny that this Ezekiel guy calls him a whore, tells him he opens his legs for a dollar, then in the next quote tells him Jesus just wants his adoration.

I'm glad that you find Pastor Ezekiel warning somebody that their deathstyle choice will lead to an eternity of Hell amusing. :sarcasm:

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Do any of you women talk in church? Because you know, in the bible it says you're not allowed.

Yes, we know that. No, we women do not speak up in church, because that is the man's duty. God gives all of us roles to play, and if we reject that we accept that we will be damned for an eternity.

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You're also not allowed to have haircuts

Can you back that up with scripture?

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but you CAN have slaves. How nice.

No, because secular law forbids it.

"Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God. Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation." Romans 13:1-2

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So do you own slaves? No? Oh, why? Because times have changed?

Please refer to my previous answer.

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It's been how long since that 'book' was written? It's funny how you guys can think for yourselves when it comes to things that are AGAINST THE LAW, but if it's in a gray area and the bible forbids it, you guys freak out.

Well, I'm going to assume you meant to type that we can't think for ourselves, which is absurd since we all have made the informed decision to repent of our sins and serve the Lord. The Law we really care about here is God's Law, and hopefully soon secular law will change to follow Biblical Law.

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I thought Christians were supposed to be tolerant, not bigots.

Says the person who took the time to register here to post this hateful message. Nobody here is a bigot (save for unsaved trash like yourself). However, we do not tolerate it when people lead others into believing anything but following God's Word and accepting Jesus will get you into Heaven. Much as you would not (hopefully at least) tolerate rapists and murderers, we do not tolerate sinners.

Re: Anal Beads. Satans Rosary? ADULTS ONLY PLEASE!

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Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer (Post 620316)

I believe the thread title specifically said "ADULTS ONLY". :glare:

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Originally Posted by Jo Freddie (Post 626934)

I am afraid you are mistaken on that point.

I've been proven wrong.. Not about this, but in another post I said I was sure they ban people who are Atheist. Given, you might not be atheist, but judging by your medals or whatever are under your name, they don't like you much.

That's another thing. Whoever the admin of this forum is, is an ass. So to you guys, is it "Worship what we do, or we hate you." Is that in the bible somewhere?

Bigot, according to Merriam Webster:
: a person obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices

Sounds like the majority of the people on here. But to their defense, if atheists get on here all the time and go all "OMG YOU GUYS SUCK", I'd get annoyed too. So this is pretty much an endless cycle. There's always going to be Atheists registering for this site until something's invented that scans you before you register, and they're going to forever fight and argue with each other.

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Originally Posted by Lycia The Repentant (Post 626939)

And yet here you are, on a privately owned Christian forum mocking us.

How am I mocking you exactly?

I'm glad that you find Pastor Ezekiel warning somebody that their deathstyle choice will lead to an eternity of Hell amusing.

He wasn't warning him. He called him a whore without knowing him, and for on reason. So christian-like.

Yes, we know that. No, we women do not speak up in church, because that is the man's duty. God gives all of us roles to play, and if we reject that we accept that we will be damned for an eternity.

Can you back that up with scripture? Ezekiel 44:20 ESV / 21 helpful votes

They shall not shave their heads or let their locks grow long; they shall surely trim the hair of their heads.

1 Corinthians 11:6

For if a wife will not cover her head, then she should cut her hair short. But since it is disgraceful for a wife to cut off her hair or shave her head, let her cover her head.

1 Corinthians 11:14

Does not nature itself teach you that if a man wears long hair it is a disgrace for him,
Leviticus 19:27 ESV / 10 helpful votes

You shall not round off the hair on your temples or mar the edges of your beard.

Well, I'm going to assume you meant to type that we can't think for ourselves, which is absurd since we all have made the informed decision to repent of our sins and serve the Lord. The Law we really care about here is God's Law, and hopefully soon secular law will change to follow Biblical Law.

No, I meant that you CAN think for yourselves. When the choice is decided for you, because of a law, the choice is easy for you and you decide. But if there's no law against it, you go by the Bible. You don't think for yourselves, you just say "oh, this book told me this is bad so that's what I'm going to think." You could easily own a slave technically, but since that's illegal now, you won't. But homosexuality isn't illegal. So what do you do? You preach hate.

Says the person who took the time to register here to post this hateful message. Nobody here is a bigot (save for unsaved trash like yourself). However, we do not tolerate it when people lead others into believing anything but following God's Word and accepting Jesus will get you into Heaven. Much as you would not (hopefully at least) tolerate rapists and murderers, we do not tolerate sinners.

Why don't you open a dictionary and look up bigot. Then look at some of the people on here. I don't know everyone of course, but being an asshole isn't very Christian. But then again, how would I know? Maybe that's how you're supposed to act.

And you were right about one thing, I don't tolerate rapists or murderers haha. We're in agreement there.

Re: Anal Beads. Satans Rosary? ADULTS ONLY PLEASE!

In the future, could you please cut up a post with QUOTE tags rather than adding your comments inside of the quote? It makes it a little bit easier to read and respond to.

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Originally Posted by JCisazombie (Post 626945)

He's a (very vocal) pastafarian, and no, people aren't banned for having different beliefs then us. People get banned because they come on here and don't respect OUR beliefs.

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That's another thing. Whoever the admin of this forum is, is an ass. So to you guys, is it "Worship what we do, or we hate you." Is that in the bible somewhere?

Well, God isn't especially fond of unbelievers. He tends to send them to Hell. The Bible also prohibits us from associating with them:

"Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?" 2 Corinthians 6:14

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Bigot, according to Merriam Webster:
: a person obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices

I'm leaving this here to prove a point.

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Sounds like the majority of the people on here. But to their defense, if atheists get on here all the time and go all "OMG YOU GUYS SUCK", I'd get annoyed too. So this is pretty much an endless cycle. There's always going to be Atheists registering for this site until something's invented that scans you before you register, and they're going to forever fight and argue with each other.

Most of the atheists that come onto this forum post bigoted comments exactly like that. The funny thing is, if they were really tolerant, they would just let us be instead of registering here to post their angry anti-Christianity views.

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How am I mocking you exactly?

Well, your name is rather offensive, you call us bigots and assholes, and you imply we are all too stupid to think for ourselves.

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He wasn't warning him. He called him a whore without knowing him, and for on reason. So christian-like.

It was a warning that he will go to Hell if he does not repent. And perhaps we are a bit jaded due to the relentless onslaught of God-mocking trolls we get here.

Now, about the scripture you posted. First, please only post scripture from the King James version of the Bible, because that is the only one we use here. Now, the only verse that specifically forbids cutting hair is Leviticus 19:27, which refers to emulating pagan hair styles of the time. You can read more about it at this site.

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No, I meant that you CAN think for yourselves. When the choice is decided for you, because of a law, the choice is easy for you and you decide. But if there's no law against it, you go by the Bible. You don't think for yourselves, you just say "oh, this book told me this is bad so that's what I'm going to think." You could easily own a slave technically, but since that's illegal now, you won't. But homosexuality isn't illegal. So what do you do? You preach hate.

We make a conscious CHOICE to follow the Bible. There is no gun being held to our heads and our decision isn't forced, the choice is entirely made of our own free will.

And how do we preach hate? We believe that a homosexual will get sent to Hell because of their actions, and we want them to go to Heaven instead. Does that sound like hate to you?

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You're mocking us again here. Thank you for implying that our religion is based around being an asshole.

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And you were right about one thing, I don't tolerate rapists or murderers haha. We're in agreement there.

Good, then I hope you can understand the point I was trying to make.

Re: Anal Beads. Satans Rosary? ADULTS ONLY PLEASE!

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Originally Posted by Lycia The Repentant

Anything that can lead to sin can be used by Satan as a tool..

http://u8353.direct.atpic.com/39024/0/2044781/0.jpg

Re: Anal Beads. Satans Rosary? ADULTS ONLY PLEASE!

Okay, I just feel the need to ask this: Why is there a thread about "anal beads" in a women's forum on a christian site?:wacko:

Re: Anal Beads. Satans Rosary? ADULTS ONLY PLEASE!

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Originally Posted by Scarlet Wynter (Post 638522)

Okay, I just feel the need to ask this: Why is there a thread about "anal beads" in a women's forum on a christian site?:wacko:

The original post should make it clear. Go to Page 1.

Re: Anal Beads. Satans Rosary? ADULTS ONLY PLEASE!

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Originally Posted by Scarlet Wynter (Post 638522)

Okay, I just feel the need to ask this: Why is there a thread about "anal beads" in a women's forum on a christian site?:wacko:

Women are inherently more lustful than men and need to be warned of the sinful nature of these products. We're also more likely not to realize something is sinful and mess things up for everybody, so its important we stay on guard about everything.

Does that answer your question? I'm really hoping there aren't any more about this. <_<

Re: Anal Beads. Satans Rosary? ADULTS ONLY PLEASE!

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Originally Posted by JCisazombie (Post 626932)

I thought Christians were supposed to be tolerant, not bigots.

Christians are tolerant, U.S. christians are not. They HATE Catholics and they do not even think that they exist only thanks to catholics (you know... people like Cristoforo Colombo, Isabella I of Castile...)

YOU will burn in hell, because you are so hateful, so presumptuous and so high-and-mighty.

P.S.: god, jesus and all that shit do not exist, it's just a fairytale.

GROW UP MOR(m)ONS!!!

Re: Anal Beads. Satans Rosary? ADULTS ONLY PLEASE!

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Originally Posted by porcoddio (Post 638617)

Christians are tolerant, U.S. christians are not. They HATE Catholics

Catholics ignore huge parts of the Holy Bible. God does not allow that: Deuteronomy 4:2 "Ye shall not add unto the word which I command you, neither shall ye diminish ought from it, that ye may keep the commandments of the LORD your God which I command you."

Re: Anal Beads. Satans Rosary? ADULTS ONLY PLEASE!

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Originally Posted by porcoddio (Post 638617)

Christians are tolerant, U.S. christians are not.

That's a rather sweeping generalization there, picadillo. We don't just barge into your place, take a dump on the floor, and accuse you of anything beyond being intollerant of us.

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Originally Posted by porcoddio (Post 638617)

.......people like.........Colombo

Colombo?

Oh, yeah, the TV detective. What's he got to do with this discussion?

Re: Anal Beads. Satans Rosary? ADULTS ONLY PLEASE!

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Originally Posted by HTannor (Post 638638)

Colombo?

Oh, yeah, the TV detective. What's he got to do with this discussion?

:sarcasm:

Re: Anal Beads. Satans Rosary? ADULTS ONLY PLEASE!

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Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man (Post 638622)

Oh really? But he "said" this long time ago, maybe he changed his mind!

btw @ HTannor, what does "picadillo" mean?

Re: Anal Beads. Satans Rosary? ADULTS ONLY PLEASE!

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Originally Posted by porcoddio (Post 638662)

Oh really? But he "said" this long time ago, maybe he changed his mind!

Why would God change his mind? He is God, therefore He is perfect. If something is perfect do you change it? No I don't think so, we have not received a change notice from God.

Re: Anal Beads. Satans Rosary? ADULTS ONLY PLEASE!

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Originally Posted by porcoddio (Post 638617)

Christians are tolerant, U.S. christians are not.

That is racist. This is a Christian forum and racism will not be tolerated.

(Billy Bob: I approve this post.)

Re: Anal Beads. Satans Rosary? ADULTS ONLY PLEASE!

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Originally Posted by Talitha (Post 313421)

I was recently sent a copy of this advertisement by a poor persecuted Christian living in New Zealand.

Attachment 8462

It claims to show an obvious Jezebel smiling in Church because she allegedly has some kind of perverted sex toy in her anus. :angry:

Of course, I had to carry out research to find out what kind of disgusting item these obvious followers of Satan are peddling.
These are (apparently) anal beads:
Attachment 8463

I FOUND THESE ON A SO-CALLED CHRISTIAN MARITAL AIDS WEBSITE! :fear2:

The connection with this "item" and the Catholic Rosary is pretty obvious.
Here is a picture from as long ago as 1578 of a Catholic Homo and his Beads:

Attachment 8464

Just look at the way the creature is sniffing the beads :thumbdown:
YES! I said HOMO :angry:

Also, look at this Catholic Priest trying to force the beads on to a poor unsuspecting child!

Attachment 8465

To add insult to injury, these other items also featured on this Christian Pornography site. (Ladies, please close your eyes).

Attachment 8466 Attachment 8467 Attachment 8468

I have written to the owners of this site and raised the strongest possible objections. I have also demanded that they send samples of these items so I can see first hand how disgusting they are.

If you haven't already realized, "I'm on Anal Beads" is an anagram of Osama bin Laden :lex_12:

Jesus weeps. :(

I clicked on your link and I must say I was sickened by what I saw. How dare they pass them selves off as a Christian site yet sell such smut. God in no way would want any True Christian (Male or Female) to even view the site much less buy and use that stuff. I need to repent for even daring to look. Lord, God please forgive me.