Post your Christmas Shopping problems HERE!
So that JESUS might see them and guide us with them.
I'll lead off: Everytime I gas up the Behemoth to go Shopping at the Mall, 45 miles away, I find that the Money I've brought to Shop with is so greatly diminished I often just end up having a McStudMuffin and coffee and heading Right back Home! What is the Solution to this? I need to figure something out before Winter gets here because the tires are beginning to go bald, too, and God Hates "Bald" - why, it says so Right in the Bible! Oh, JESUS, am I ever riding the horns of a dilemma!!! :devil: SUV |
Re: Post your Christmas Shopping problems HERE!
What to possibly give catlick 'relatives' other than a short sharp boot to Hell as He demands....Quite a hard decision!!
~Rain |
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Then take the Greyhound Bus to town and find a small apartment behind a vegan fast food joint so your food worries are over. You can rummage through their dumpster until spring brings more berries and apples. I feel pretty good about being able to solve ALL of your problems at one go! |
Re: Post your Christmas Shopping problems HERE!
Why, Pastor Al, I'm In Tears! Did my being (again) newly $avED wear off already, and now it's like I am some sort of lowly Luciferian???
Or is this a hint you want me to go undercover on some sort of secret mission like Mrs. Judy O'Christian did that time she got the tattoo on her leg when she wore that mini-skirt?! Well now I simply don't know what to do. I suppose I'll wait to see if Pastor got this Revelation from Jesus or if it's because he's been out raiding eggnog stills again. SUV Quote:
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Do you suppose it's too early to start re-gifting all the crappy fruitcake I recieved from people last year?
Inquisitive, Sister Thumper |
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Except for the part about the "cheap Chinese moped." Then I'll have that slanty-eyed Hitonme running Right behind. And now this about "vegan fast food joint so your food worries are over. You can rummage through their dumpster until spring brings more berries and apples." Is it fermentable, like the berries and apples are? Dear LORD! I am in such a Christmas tizzy I barely know what to do! Bless you, Pastor, for continuing to look out for the "smallest and weakest amongst us." (I mean Hitonme. Please don't let him run after my Moped again!) SUV |
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In a Gadda Da Vida indeed!!! SUV |
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In my family, we stopped re-gifting Christmas fruitcakes years ago. I accept every single one with a smile, and every spring I use them to patch up holes in the walls of my horse stables and servant's quarters. I made a fine dog house out of them one season. Praise Jesus the dogs who sleep in there don't have fleas any more.
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Re: Post your Christmas Shopping problems HERE!
I have to say, shopping for Joo relatives like mine is a lot easier than for Mary-Worshipping ones like Sister Rain's. I just have to sent them each a shiny penny and they're happy all year long. I usually also send them a card along the lines of "let us all celebrate the birthday of the Sweet Baby Jesus, remember Him? The fellow who died on the cross for all our sins, wasn't He wonderful? Wasn't killing Him a terrible thing to do? Wouldn't it be a good idea to repent and allow His Love into your hook-nosed little heart? Love, your son."
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Re: Post your Christmas Shopping problems HERE!
My problem??
Is that an XTIAN celebration is being SHOVED DOWN MY THROAT every time I walk into a shopping center!!! Sweet merciful crawdads, too many Xtians, not enough lions! |
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Why are there no other religious holiday items on sale except for Xtian ones? THAT'S what I call predjudice...come on, ACLU!! |
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