Strange Urges
 

I am a woman, but sometimes I get strange urges that make me think I should be a man.

I don't know what to do because I know that in being born a woman I can't decide to change and be a man, it's just not right.

How can I fight these urges?

Re: Strange Urges
 

That's disgusting and very unnatural.
You need to talk to your Pastor immediately as it could very well be a Demon.

Never try to be anything that God did not make you.

Re: Strange Urges
 

What kind of urges make you think you should be a man? The only urges you should have are cooking, cleaning, ect. I'm confused.

Re: Strange Urges
 

Read the Bible, pray, and completely submit to the will of all honest Christian men you encounter. This is very important. Jesus hates transgenderism a lot. If women start trying to be men, then men will start becoming sissified vegetarians who can't even kill Muslims, and society as we know it will collapse. I have a dedicated archive of over 5000 images showing transgendered abominations performing various unspeakable acts and let me tell you it is not pretty, not in the slightest. Is that really what you want for your life? Jesus says no!

Re: Strange Urges
 

Sometimes I want to touch other women. :(

Vegetarians?! You mean like PETA? Oh no. :O

Re: Strange Urges
 

That's disgusting. Anyone who wants to touch anyone they're not married to is wrong in the head. Since women can't marry women, the idea of them touching other women is just pure craziness. The very idea!
Maybe when you get these urges, you should bake some cakes to take your mind off them. Obviously no-one would want to eat cakes that were produced as a product of sinful urges, but it's good practice, and the cakes could be useful for throwing at gypsies or something.

Re: Strange Urges
 

SCOOP recently performed a successful exorcism on two lesbians. I'm thinking of going into private practice. You could be my first patient.

Let me know if you want to review the three step process to become an ex-lesbian.

Yours in Christ:jesus:
Brother Lazarus

Re: Strange Urges
 

I agree, Brother Lazarus, it sounds like the first stage of demonic possession. First, it starts off as a little "feeling" here and there that creeps up from the unconscious. The second stage becomes repetitive thought. The third stage the person begins to experiment with these feelings, hoping that it will relieve them of the obsession, however this is what the demon wants and it becomes stronger. The fourth stage is full-blown lesbianism and the woman finds herself in dyke bars and pride rallies.

Let untreated, the demonic lesbian spirit can become permanently attached to the person's soul and forever remain a slave to the demon. The entity latches onto a person's soul, and over time it begins to "graft" itself onto the soul. At that point seperation and exorcism is impossible.

The key is to treat the woman early as possible. Fortunately this patient here is in the first stage, so treatment should be quite simple and straightforward. :thumbsup:

Oh, Brother Lazarus, one last thing....my lawyer finished up the final draft of the liability release forms that we will require all women to sign before we exorcise them. It's so well-written and clever, basically we can do whatever we want need to do to drive the demon out and it's perfectly legal. This should put an end to some of lawsuits that have arisen from our most holy exorcist practices. I'll fax you over the draft this afternoon. :innocent:

Re: Strange Urges
 

Screw the lessbeings.

More Jesus talk :thumbsup:

Re: Strange Urges
 

Ah.... todays issue that you will denounce by dinner time........

Re: Strange Urges
 

Excellent work Rev. Jim.

We are going to need a corporate name and a logo. Any ideas?

Yours in Christ:jesus:
Brother Lazarus

Re: Strange Urges
 

Oh, deary me. Brother Temperance, please forgive me for my intrusion, but the devil is to blame for this. He's very tricky, you know and will do ANYTHING to destroy one's relationship with the Lord.

Dear girl, fight these urges, FIGHT I say, with all of your being. Pray, bake and clean. These are the things that you have been put on this earth for - and for heaven's sakes, get yourself a husband and put those thoughts about touching women out of your head. Bear him many Christian Soldiers - you will be so busy you won't have time to think.

You are in my prayers.

Mary

Re: Strange Urges
 

Okay, I will go to my cousin's house later to-day for a prayer session (she is Christian) and then we will bake some cakes. As long as I fight (pray) and continue doing womanly things I should get better, right?

Re: Strange Urges
 

And stop dressing like a whore. Don't forget that.

Re: Strange Urges
 

Good for you Annie. Is it OK if I call you Annie? Your user name is hard to type. How do you say that anyway? Well, nevermind.

I just wanted to say that you are doing the right thing by not wanting to be gay. There was this one girl in my school who thought she was might be gay, so she used to hang out with these older, totally dykey girls who lived downtown. She started dressing all weird and I think she even DID IT with a couple of those dykes!:fear2:

So anyways, about a month later, her brother who was in Iraq got shot and he almost DIED!!!:fear2:

So if you act all gay, God might have someone you know get shot, which would be terrible. I would feel super awful if God shot somebody just because I let some lesbo do stuff to me!:(

Tammi

Re: Strange Urges
 

I will stop dressing like a whore and even burn my whore clothes.

And I would never want anyone to get shot by God because of that! I will make sure not to do any dykey things. :)

Re: Strange Urges
 

Maybe we're onto something here. Properly administered anesthesia would put an end to strange urges.

Yours in Christ:jesus:
Brother Lazarus

Re: Strange Urges
 

I baked some muffins with my cousin. They are amazing.

Re: Strange Urges
 

I shudder to think what that is a euphemism for...:unsure:

Re: Strange Urges
 

Now how do you know that?