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Goosey Goosey Gander Teaches Children to Beat Atheists!

My 2nd youngest daughter got a new book of nursery rhymes for Christmas today and it reminded me of a rhyme that was my favorite when I was a child: “Goosey, Goosey Gander.” For those of you unfamiliar with this gem of a rhyme, here are the lyrics and a short children’s video:

“Goosey, goosey, gander,
Whither shall I wander?
Upstairs, and downstairs,
And in my lady's chamber.
There I met an old man
Who wouldn't say his prayers!
I took him by the left leg
And threw him down the stairs.”

Not only does it use the effective tool of alliteration to grab the child’s attention right away, it quickly teaches the child that if they do not say their prayers, they could be physically attacked. The converse is also taught: Throw people who don't say prayers down the stairs. Truly a very important moral lesson to teach a child of four. This is yet another example of how we are a Christian (Protestant) nation. Our heritage is imbued with messages like this. But wait, there's more! Has your child grows, the nursery rhyme grows with him. It turns out that it is really about executing papists!

I did some research and found that the origins of the nursery rhyme are believed to date back to the 16th century and refer to the necessity for Catholic priests to hide in 'Priest Holes' ( very small secret rooms once found in many great houses in England) to avoid persecution from devout Protestants who were totally against the old Catholic religion. If caught, both the priest and members of any family found harboring them were executed. The moral in Goosey, Goosey Gander's lyrics imply that something unpleasant would surely happen to anyone failing to say their prayers correctly - meaning the Protestant Prayers, said in English as opposed to Catholic prayers which were said in Latin! Even every day catholics today know what this means and it terrifies them! (See this thread on a catholick board discussing this and other rhymes.)

This got me thinking, “What other Biblically-supported morals can be found in common nursery rhymes?” Here is my list so far. Let me know what I missed:

Here's The Church – ALL people go to church. Don't be different!

Quote:

“Here's the church, and here's the steeple
Open the door and see all the people.
Here's the parson going upstairs,
And here he is saying his prayers.”

Old Mother Hubbard – God wants you to have as many children as possible and to beat them for any reason or no reason at all

Quote:

“There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.
She had so many children, she didn't know what to do;
She gave them some broth without any bread;
Then whipped them all soundly and put them to bed.”

Humpty Dumpty – Government healthcare is ineffective and leads to Death Panels!

Quote:

“Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the King's horses, And all the King's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again!”

Baa Baa Black Sheep – “Black sheep” (Negroes) should give up all their “wool” (property) to their betters, which includes little white boys

Quote:

“Baa baa black sheep, have you any wool?
Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full!
One for the master, one for the dame,
And one for the little boy who lives down the lane.”

Rock A Bye Baby – Your parents may be incredibly negligent and you may die in your sleep tonight, so make sure you are right with Jesus. Sleep tight!

Quote:

“Rock a bye baby, on the tree top,
When the wind blows the cradle will rock;
When the bow breaks, the cradle will fall,
And down will come baby, cradle and all.”

Jack and Jill – God hates pre-marital fornication

Quote:

“Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water
Jack fell down and broke his crown
And Jill came tumbling after.”

Ladybug Ladybug – God hates single mothers

Quote:

“Ladybug ladybug fly away home,
Your house in on fire and your children are gone,
All except one and that's little Ann,
For she crept under the frying pan.”

Little Bo Peep – Only let women have jobs where even if they mess up, it won’t do any harm.

Quote:

“Little Bo peep has lost her sheep
And doesn't know where to find them.
Leave them alone and they'll come home,
Bringing their tails behind them.”

Little Miss Muffet – Female stereotypes are true and we all know it

Quote:

“Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet
Eating her curds and whey,
Along came a spider,
Who sat down beside her
And frightened Miss Muffet away”

Mondays Child – Sunday is the true Sabbath day, not Saturday or Friday like other false religions say.

Quote:

“Mondays child is fair of face,
Tuesdays child is full of grace,
Wednesdays child is full of woe,
Thursdays child has far to go,
Fridays child is loving and giving,
Saturdays child works hard for his living,
And the child that is born on the Sabbath day
Is bonny and blithe, and good and gay.”

Bells of London Town – London bell ringers are all gay.

Quote:

“Gay go up and gay go down
To Ring the Bells of London Town”

Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater – Lock up your wife if she won’t obey you.

Quote:

“Peter Peter pumpkin eater,
Had a wife and couldn't keep her!
He put her in a pumpkin shell,
And there he kept her very well!”

Pussycat Pussycat - Socialism creates countries so poor that even even their Heads of State can’t afford an exterminator.

Quote:

“Pussycat pussycat, where have you been?
I've been up to London to visit the Queen.
Pussycat pussycat, what did you dare?
I frightened a little mouse under her chair.”

Ring Around The Rosy – It is well known that this rhyme is all about one of God’s greatest tools for keeping nations in line: The Plague. Notice that the plague has never hit the U.S., just Europe. God hates Europe.

Quote:

“Ring around the rosy
A pocketful of posies
"Ashes, Ashes"
We all fall down!”

Simple Simon – Everyone on unemployment or welfare is a stupid, incompetent, lay about who will eventually die of starvation if God has his way.

Quote:

“Simple Simon met a pieman going to the fair;
Said Simple Simon to the pieman "Let me taste your ware"
Said the pieman to Simple Simon "Show me first your penny"
Said Simple Simon to the pieman "Sir, I have not any!"
Simple Simon went a-fishing for to catch a whale;
All the water he had got was in his mother's pail.
Simple Simon went to look if plums grew on a thistle;
He pricked his fingers very much which made poor Simon whistle.
He went for water in a sieve but soon it all fell through;
And now poor Simple Simon bids you all "Adieu"”

Sing A Song Of Sixpence – God blesses those of wealth to the point that they can let their extravagant pets maim their servants without care.

Quote:

“Sing a song of sixpence a pocket full of rye,
Four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie.
When the pie was opened the birds began to sing,
Oh wasn't that a dainty dish to set before the king?
The king was in his counting house counting out his money,
The queen was in the parlour eating bread and honey
The maid was in the garden hanging out the clothes,
When down came a blackbird and pecked off her nose!”

Wee Willie Winkie – Gay pedophiles are everywhere. Sleep tight!

Quote:

“Wee Willie Winkie runs through the town,
Upstairs and downstairs in his nightgown,
Tapping at the window and crying through the lock,
Are all the children in their beds, it's past eight o'clock?”

London Bridge Is Falling Down – Socialism leads to decaying infrastructure.

Quote:

“London Bridge is falling down,
Falling down, falling down,
London Bridge is falling down,
My fair Lady.”

And of course, the Grandaddy of them all, JESUS LOVES ME: (My analysis in red.)

Quote:

Jesus loves me! This I know,
For the Bible tells me so.
Straight off it teaches children that they can KNOW something is true if the Bible says it is.
Little ones to Him belong;
They are weak, but He is strong.
Children, you are all Jesus's property. You are all weak but Jesus is strong, so don't try to resist! Now get in Jesus's van of love!

Chorus:
Yes, Jesus loves me!
Yes, Jesus loves me!
Yes, Jesus loves me!
The Bible tells me so.
Repetition is the key for drilling the "Bible = Truth" concepts into young minds.

Jesus loves me! This I know,
As He loved so long ago,
Taking children on His knee,
Saying, “Let them come to Me.”
Jesus wants you to die and come to him.

Chorus
Repetition is the key for drilling the "Bible = Truth" concepts into young minds.

Jesus loves me when I'm good,
When I do the things I should,
What things should you do? Whatever Jesus tells you to!
Jesus loves me when I'm bad,
Though it makes Him very sad.
The reason not to be bad is because it makes God cry. That is why actions can be bad or good.

Chorus
Repetition is the key for drilling the "Bible = Truth" concepts into young minds.

Jesus loves me still today,
Walking with me on my way,
Jesus is with you all the time, watching you.
Wanting as a friend to give
Light and love to all who live.
Don't be afraid, Jesus is your friend.

Chorus
Repetition is the key for drilling the "Bible = Truth" concepts into young minds.

Jesus loves me! He who died
Heaven’s gate to open wide;
Can't teach the little ones about Jesus without reminding them that he died (temporarily) for them.
He will wash away my sin,
Let His little child come in.
You are only 4, but you are a dirty sinner.

Chorus
Repetition is the key for drilling the "Bible = Truth" concepts into young minds.

Jesus loves me! Loves me still
Tho' I'm very weak and ill;
You are only 4, but you are a weak, ill, and dirty sinner.
That I might from sin be free
Bled and died upon the tree.
Hey you dirty, ill, sinning four year old...You're not going to take that cookie from the cookie jar and make the man who DIED for you cry are you?

Chorus
Repetition is the key for drilling the "Bible = Truth" concepts into young minds.

Jesus loves me! He will stay
Close beside me all the way;
Jesus watches everything you do. EVERYTHING. Yes, even when you poop.
Thou hast bled and died for me,
I will henceforth live for Thee.
You better pay Jesus back for his death. You pay him back by BELIEVING in him for the rest of your life!

Re: Goosey Goosey Gander Teaches Children to Beat Atheists!

You forget that at the time, the Christians lived in Europe, and the only people in the USA were native Americans.

Re: Goosey Goosey Gander Teaches Children to Beat Atheists!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sappin (Post 662594)

You forget that at the time, the Christians lived in Europe, and the only people in the USA were native Americans.

What are you talking about?

Re: Goosey Goosey Gander Teaches Children to Beat Atheists!

Don't forget this classic about theists:

Quote:

The Elephant Rhyme

It was six men of Indostan
To learning much inclined,
Who went to see the Elephant
(Though all of them were blind),
That each by observation
Might satisfy his mind

The First approached the Elephant,
And happening to fall
Against his broad and sturdy side,
At once began to bawl:
“God bless me! but the Elephant
Is very like a wall!”

The Second, feeling of the tusk,
Cried, “Ho! what have we here
So very round and smooth and sharp?
To me ’tis mighty clear
This wonder of an Elephant
Is very like a spear!”

The Third approached the animal,
And happening to take
The squirming trunk within his hands,
Thus boldly up and spake:
“I see,” quoth he, “the Elephant
Is very like a snake!”

The Fourth reached out an eager hand,
And felt about the knee.
“What most this wondrous beast is like
Is mighty plain,” quoth he;
“ ‘Tis clear enough the Elephant
Is very like a tree!”

The Fifth, who chanced to touch the ear,
Said: “E’en the blindest man
Can tell what this resembles most;
Deny the fact who can
This marvel of an Elephant
Is very like a fan!”

The Sixth no sooner had begun
About the beast to grope,
Than, seizing on the swinging tail
That fell within his scope,
“I see,” quoth he, “the Elephant
Is very like a rope!”

And so these men of Indostan
Disputed loud and long,
Each in his own opinion
Exceeding stiff and strong,
Though each was partly in the right,
And all were in the wrong!

I would hope it is obvious to you lot how this is about theists, but past history shows me that I should not make such assumptions. Therefor, I give you this:

Quote:

The Moral of the Elephant Rhyme:

So oft in theologic wars,
The disputants, I ween,
Rail on in utter ignorance
Of what each other mean,
And prate about an Elephant
Not one of them has seen!!

Re: Goosey Goosey Gander Teaches Children to Beat Atheists!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gabriel Reproba (Post 662645)

What are you talking about?

The rhyme about the plague. It hit the Christians of Europe.

Re: Goosey Goosey Gander Teaches Children to Beat Atheists!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sappin (Post 662808)

The rhyme about the plague. It hit the Christians of Europe.

It hit EVERYONE in Europe, especially the jews. Think of it like Noah's flood. God hated everyone in the world except Noah and his family so he killed them all. jews, atheists, children, infants, pregnant women...EVERYONE. Same thing with the plagues. Go hated the land where the plague hit and he killed millions of people with the plague.

All I said was, "Notice that the plague has never hit the U.S., just Europe. God hates Europe." That is 100% true. While there have been multiple outbreaks fo the plague, it has NEVER had an outbreak here. True, no? So what is your point?

Re: Goosey Goosey Gander Teaches Children to Beat Atheists!

Quote:

Originally Posted by InvisiblePinkUnicorn (Post 662776)

Don't forget this classic about theists:

I would hope it is obvious to you lot how this is about theists, but past history shows me that I should not make such assumptions. Therefor, I give you this:

"It was six men of Indostan?" Really? How racist are you atheists?

Also, how stupid are you? You really don't get it do you? That is about non-believers, not Christians. All non-Christians are blind to Jesus's love, even when they grope Him all over. They never put the pieces together. Willful blindness to God is a fast track to Hell. Enjoy the ride.

Re: Goosey Goosey Gander Teaches Children to Beat Atheists!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gabriel Reproba (Post 662957)

It hit EVERYONE in Europe, especially the jews. Think of it like Noah's flood. God hated everyone in the world except Noah and his family so he killed them all. jews, atheists, children, infants, pregnant women...EVERYONE. Same thing with the plagues. God hated the land where the plague hit and he killed millions of people with the plague.

All I said was, "Notice that the plague has never hit the U.S., just Europe. God hates Europe." That is 100% true. While there have been multiple outbreaks of the plague, it has NEVER had an outbreak here. True, no? So what is your point?

First of all, the flood hit the entire world, right? Why would the US be excluded from the flood?

Yes, I know that wasn't your point, but like the flood, the plague did hit a lot of Christians as well. So back in the days of the plague, did God love the native americans? Or did he love a country that was either non-existent or barely starting?

Re: Goosey Goosey Gander Teaches Children to Beat Atheists!

A truly Godly analysis, Brother Gabe! Nursery rhymes are wonderful because they explain the Truth in the most simplest of terms. Indeed, this is what Jesus was talking about in Matthew 18:3 when he said "Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven."

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sappin (Post 662977)

Yes, I know that wasn't your point, but like the flood, the plague did hit a lot of Christians as well. So back in the days of the plague, did God love the native americans? Or did he love a country that was either non-existent or barely starting?

No, God gave the native Americans smallpox. But, it's funny how REAL Americans like us never died of smallpox. Obviously we were blessed and protected by God from the disease and only inferior injuns were wiped out by smallpox and other infectious diseases.

Re: Goosey Goosey Gander Teaches Children to Beat Atheists!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rev. Jim Osborne (Post 662987)

Oh, right, forgot about that. Definitely on a smaller scale than the plague, but valid nonetheless.

Re: Goosey Goosey Gander Teaches Children to Beat Atheists!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sappin (Post 662977)

1) God loves everyone. He just hates the sin in their hearts.

2) I still don't understand what your point is. I said that God attacked Europe with the plague and never the US. Is any of that untrue? If not, why are you yapping about Christians in Europe? I never said there weren't any Christians in Europe. In fact, I never even came close to the topic. If you know your history you know that Europe was the stronghold of Christianity for a very long time. So...what is your point?

Re: Goosey Goosey Gander Teaches Children to Beat Atheists!

Quote:

Originally Posted by InvisiblePinkUnicorn (Post 662776)

Quote:

It was six men of Indostan
To learning much inclined,

I would hope it is obvious to you lot how this is about theists

It is obviously NOT about theists. Indostanis are all demon worshippers.

Re: Goosey Goosey Gander Teaches Children to Beat Atheists!

There's a particularly informative song from a wholesome cartoon called "Donkey Kong Country" (thankfully, it is not associated with the extremely sinful video game of the same name):

Quote:

I don't know what's happening to me
I'm getting all the blame for things I didn't do
Can anybody tell me just what I did wrong?
(This line is unintelligible)
I don't know what everyone wants me to be
I only know just how to be me
(This line is also unintelligible)
And now I'm an absolute zero
I'm nobody's hero

This song expresses a profound need for God. The character singing it is confused and clearly needs God's assistance.

Re: Goosey Goosey Gander Teaches Children to Beat Atheists!

Quote:

Originally Posted by John_Calvin (Post 801436)

There's a particularly informative song from a wholesome cartoon called "Donkey Kong Country" (thankfully, it is not associated with the extremely sinful video game of the same name):

This song expresses a profound need for God. The character singing it is confused and clearly needs God's assistance.

You seem to be the confused one. You say that the more confused a person is, the more they need God. Nothing could be further from the truth. Everyone needs God...for all eternity. Even the most Godly man who follows God's laws to the letter for 100 years needs God:

Quote:

1 John 1:9

9If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.