The Landover Baptist Church Forum

The Landover Baptist Church Forum (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forumindex.php)
-   The introduction forum (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forumdisplay.php?f=16)
-   -   Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood! (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=37966)

Miss Cassandra 02-24-2010 09:19 PM

Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!
 
Hello everyone, I'm sure a lot of you know who I am, but you may call me Miss Cassandra from now on.

I grew up in Freehold, where I became a direct victim of your intolerance. Ever since I could walk, I was forced to listen every sunday to PD Fred's rants against anyone who dared to actually show some compassion to people who were not "True Christians™."
My entire childhood, my father forced me to obey the dreadful laws of the bible. Every sunday, he sent me to Pastor Jones's poisonous sunday school teachings.
Whenever I didn't do as he pleased, he hit me until I couldn't walk normally anymore because of the pain.

Is that a normal way to raise a child? According to the bible, it might be, but according to basic human morals, it is depraved and despicable!:angry:

Now I'm 19 years old, and I want to let you know that I utterly reject your evil religion!:thumbdown:
I've found a new one, a religion of peace, love, tolerance and love for nature. I've been initiated into a wiccan coven, right under your noses here in Freehold, and I walk under the friendly smile of the Mother Goddess.
Though I hate your religion with my entire being, I must say I still feel a bit sorry for you, sad slaves of the bible. Though I don't show my true beliefs in the streets of Freehold, I still feel liberated.

Hope all of you still have a slightly less hate-filled evening than usual.

Miss Cassandra

James Hutchins 02-24-2010 09:25 PM

Re: Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!
 
Poor girl, we had no idea you were so upset. we'll send Bobby-Joe and a few of the boys down to proffer apologies.

Brother Enoch 02-24-2010 09:26 PM

Re: Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!
 
Wickers? In Freehold?

I can't thank you enough for posting this. I've alerted the DoF and I'm sure they'll be paying you a visit very soon. :)

Miss Cassandra 02-24-2010 09:28 PM

Re: Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by James Hutchins (Post 477902)
Poor girl, we had no idea you were so upset. we'll send Bobby-Joe and a few of the boys down to proffer apologies.

No doubt he'd like to, wouldn't he?:thumbdown:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brother Enoch (Post 477905)
Wickers? In Freehold?

I can't thank you enough for posting this. I've alerted the DoF and I'm sure they'll be paying you a visit very soon. :)

Do you really think they haven't tried that before? We're not stupid, you know. The Mother Goddess actually protects us, as she loves her daughters.:wub:

Brother Enoch 02-24-2010 09:38 PM

Re: Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!
 
Cassie, you do realize that you and 12 stuffed toys sitting in a circle watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer reruns is not a coven, right?

Miss Cassandra 02-24-2010 09:50 PM

Re: Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Brother Enoch (Post 477920)
Cassie, you do realize that you and 12 stuffed toys sitting in a circle watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer reruns is not a coven, right?

Well, when I was eight, it proved to be reason enough for a certain Pastor to lecture my father about his child-raising qualities. So according to you, it seems to be.

However, I count myself among the lucky ones who have been initiated in a true Wiccan coven. We congregate in the forest, not in a dark room with a television.

Alfred King 02-24-2010 10:39 PM

Re: Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss Cassandra (Post 477897)
Whenever I didn't do as he pleased, he hit me until I couldn't walk normally anymore because of the pain.

This kind of abuse is one of the things that needs to be changed in Freehold. You can be sure that I will fight for that. Big cowards who hit little girls should be in jail.

Miss Cassandra 02-24-2010 10:52 PM

Re: Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Alfred King (Post 477958)
This kind of abuse is one of the things that needs to be changed in Freehold. You can be sure that I will fight for that. Big cowards who hit little girls should be in jail.

Oh, please become mayor! I can't wait to see Pastor Zeke finally get what he deserves!

Has the Mother Goddess sent you? You talk like a wise man. I never really expected to say that to a male person again, after Sister MM's How To Become A True Christian™ Housewife course.
You are a really nice person, even though you are a christian.:)

Brother Enoch 02-24-2010 11:07 PM

Re: Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss Cassandra (Post 477965)
even though you are a christian.:)

He's not. His hero is Malcom X, a Sunni mooslim.

Miss Cassandra 02-24-2010 11:27 PM

Re: Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Brother Enoch (Post 477978)
He's not. His hero is Malcom X, a Sunni mooslim.

I never bother to differentiate between intolerant, misogynic, bloodthirsty religions, if you don't mind.:thumbdown:

True Disciple 02-25-2010 12:01 AM

Re: Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!
 
Wow, you really are hateful! What has Jesus done to make you blaspheme His Word™ in such a gruesome manner? Did it ever occur to you that your father hit you out of True Biblical Love™?

Please return to the True Faith™, girl.:)

Halleluyah Rob 02-25-2010 12:09 AM

Re: Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss Cassandra (Post 477897)
Hello everyone, I'm sure a lot of you know who I am, but you may call me Miss Cassandra from now on.

I grew up in Freehold, where I became a direct victim of your intolerance. Ever since I could walk, I was forced to listen every sunday to PD Fred's rants against anyone who dared to actually show some compassion to people who were not "True Christians™."
My entire childhood, my father forced me to obey the dreadful laws of the bible. Every sunday, he sent me to Pastor Jones's poisonous sunday school teachings.
Whenever I didn't do as he pleased, he hit me until I couldn't walk normally anymore because of the pain.

Is that a normal way to raise a child? According to the bible, it might be, but according to basic human morals, it is depraved and despicable!:angry:

Now I'm 19 years old, and I want to let you know that I utterly reject your evil religion!:thumbdown:
I've found a new one, a religion of peace, love, tolerance and love for nature. I've been initiated into a wiccan coven, right under your noses here in Freehold, and I walk under the friendly smile of the Mother Goddess.
Though I hate your religion with my entire being, I must say I still feel a bit sorry for you, sad slaves of the bible. Though I don't show my true beliefs in the streets of Freehold, I still feel liberated.

Hope all of you still have a slightly less hate-filled evening than usual.

Miss Cassandra

Cassie?! Wow! I remember being friends with you back when we were kids, I had no idea you were mentally unstable and had turn against Jesus and his favorite community Freehold.

Your Dad was a good man, he'd never raise a daughter to be corrupt and against Jesus; he even beat me a few times to keep me in line.

Cassie, me and you need to get together and discuss these feelings your having, they're obviously the work of a demon possessing your soul.

Pastor Ezekiel 02-25-2010 12:12 AM

Re: Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!
 
Now look here miss Cassie, your father has done his level best to raise you to be a good Christian girl. I warned him years ago that you had the devil's look about you, and that letting you play with those "my little pony" dolls would corrupt your spirit. :thumbdown:

Hasn't he given you everything a Christian child could ever want? He let you fetch his slippers and bring him his coffee, didn't he? He allowed you to read aloud from the Bible at home on your birthday, didn't he? He never hesitated to lay on a good Christian beating whenever he sensed that you deserved one, did he? What more could you ask for? :huh:

Now look, you give this witchcraft nonsense up right this minute. Turn in the members of your coven, apologize to the congregation this Sunday in church, and all will be forgiven. :threaten:

Miss Cassandra 02-25-2010 01:00 AM

Re: Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by True Disciple (Post 478030)
Wow, you really are hateful! What has Jesus done to make you blaspheme His Word™ in such a gruesome manner? Did it ever occur to you that your father hit you out of True Biblical Love™?

Please return to the True Faith™, girl.:)

Oh no, not you. What's wrong, are you finished playing with fireworks for your silly little project?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Halleluyah Rob (Post 478038)
Cassie?! Wow! I remember being friends with you back when we were kids, I had no idea you were mentally unstable and had turn against Jesus and his favorite community Freehold.

Please, Rob, come to your senses. Have you ever wondered what it would mean if everything these people taught you was wrong? Of course not, you think you go to Hell if you do.
I feel sad for you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel (Post 478039)
Now look, you give this witchcraft nonsense up right this minute. Turn in the members of your coven, apologize to the congregation this Sunday in church, and all will be forgiven. :threaten:

Oh, look who's here! Pastor Zeke himself! I'm so glad that I'm a girl, so you never tried to "study the bible" with me in your basement!:thumbdown:

Quote:

Hasn't he given you everything a Christian child could ever want? He let you fetch his slippers and bring him his coffee, didn't he? He allowed you to read aloud from the Bible at home on your birthday, didn't he? He never hesitated to lay on a good Christian beating whenever he sensed that you deserved one, did he? What more could you ask for? :huh:
Umm...let me think...what about respect, love, education, tenderness, kindness, tolerance, joy, freedom and things like that?

Oh, of course, I forgot. Those things are satanic. God wants us to wail all day long:

Ecclesiastes 7:3:
Sorrow is better than laughter: for by the sadness of the countenance the heart is made better.:stinker:

You pathetic little man.

Halleluyah Rob 02-25-2010 03:12 PM

Re: Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss Cassandra (Post 478071)
Please, Rob, come to your senses. Have you ever wondered what it would mean if everything these people taught you was wrong? Of course not, you think you go to Hell if you do.
I feel sad for you.

How can it be wrong? It's straight from the good Lord Jesus :innocent:.
Deuteronomy 6:5- "And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might."

SEE, right there Cassie. It has been commanded that we love him, so we shall. It's not the good people from Freehold that are making me, it's the LORD him self. The community of Freehold is simply a median, a community of fellow True Christians™.

Cassie, I'm going to call your father, you need to be put in line.

James Dewitt 02-25-2010 03:29 PM

Re: Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss Cassandra (Post 477897)
Hello everyone, I'm sure a lot of you know who I am, but you may call me Miss Cassandra from now on.

I grew up in Freehold, where I became a direct victim of your intolerance. Ever since I could walk, I was forced to listen every sunday to PD Fred's rants against anyone who dared to actually show some compassion to people who were not "True Christians™."
My entire childhood, my father forced me to obey the dreadful laws of the bible. Every sunday, he sent me to Pastor Jones's poisonous sunday school teachings.
Whenever I didn't do as he pleased, he hit me until I couldn't walk normally anymore because of the pain.

Is that a normal way to raise a child? According to the bible, it might be, but according to basic human morals, it is depraved and despicable!:angry:

Now I'm 19 years old, and I want to let you know that I utterly reject your evil religion!:thumbdown:
I've found a new one, a religion of peace, love, tolerance and love for nature. I've been initiated into a wiccan coven, right under your noses here in Freehold, and I walk under the friendly smile of the Mother Goddess.
Though I hate your religion with my entire being, I must say I still feel a bit sorry for you, sad slaves of the bible. Though I don't show my true beliefs in the streets of Freehold, I still feel liberated.

Hope all of you still have a slightly less hate-filled evening than usual.

Miss Cassandra

Young Lady you need to think about the Path you have taken.
Exodus 22:18
Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.

Jesus loves you and wants you to come home to Him.

John 8:42
Jesus said unto them, If God were your Father, ye would love me: for I proceeded forth and came from God; neither came I of myself, but he sent me.
John 14:23
Jesus answered and said unto him, If a man love me, he will keep my words: and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him.
2 Thessalonians 2:16
Now our Lord Jesus Christ himself, and God, even our Father, which hath loved us, and hath given us everlasting consolation and good hope through grace,

Cassy, its time to come back to God. Put away your childish false religion, Jesus is waiting.

Cranky Old Man 02-27-2010 04:01 PM

Re: Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss Cassandra (Post 478071)
what about respect, love, education, tenderness, kindness, tolerance, joy, freedom and things like that?

Those are for gays. On earth we have to suffer. Heaven will be our reward.

Johny Joe Hold 02-27-2010 04:27 PM

Re: Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!
 
I hope the rest of you fine readers can recognize that this thread is for the single purpose of advancing the political standing of my opponent in the Freehold campaign for Mayor. While my worthy opponent may have some admirable traits, his campaign staff have taken to "political tricks", such as this one.

It should be noted, here, that this Cassandra person is a LIBERAL, and not CHRISTIAN. The next Mayor must be a True Christian™. The job of a Mayor in Freehold is to advance the mission of the Landover Baptist Church, not to address the "feelings" of nonbelievers such as the Cassandra.

Johny Joe Hold, Candidate for Mayor
Your Candidate for a more Godly Freehold

Alfred King 02-27-2010 11:32 PM

Re: Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold (Post 479720)
While my worthy opponent may have some admirable traits

Thank you for the compliment!

Cranky Old Man 02-28-2010 12:14 AM

Re: Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Alfred King (Post 479979)
Thank you for the compliment!

He is just being nice before he will crush you.

Why are you polluting more and more of this forum?


All times are GMT. The time now is 04:36 AM.

Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2022, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved