ASK JESUS - 2019!
OK. It's Christmas time, time to tithe heavily to ensure our continuous presence in the presidential chambers in 2020 and thereafter! As always, if you behave and tithe, Jesus Himself - my good friend an mentor - will appear on Christmas day and answer all the burning questions you might have about Life, Universe and Everything! Show Him your love and keep 'em tithes comin! :thumbsup:
https://pastorron7.files.wordpress.c...s_on_cross.jpg |
Re: ASK JESUS - 2019!
Good morning Jesus, when do you intend to sniff out the homosexuals for good?
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My dear, sweet, kind, loving, giving, honorable, pure, unadulterated Heavenly King:
Bless Yourself! Is it Your intent to send my papist father to Hell this coming year? How many horses will I be caring for come the Glory? And just when are You coming back? You said soon but Jeez it’s been 2000 years. Thanks for everything and have a nice birthday. |
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With all that they're giving you on a silver platter, just why are you making shit up? |
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Dear sweet loving Jesus, thank you in advance for once again blessing us with your holy presence! We are all wiser and better off for it!
1. Once people get to Heaven and become angels, do we get to influence anything on Earth? I assume you don't want us to do anything that would be too obvious thus removing the need for faith, but can we mess with people we don't like secretly in ways that wouldn't prove your existence? I'd like to mess with Democrats from time to time. 2. Can you give us an opinion on the late George HW Bush? He did a lot of good during the course of his presidency, and raised up George Bush Jr. yet he seemed to doubt your chosen one Donald Trump near end of his life. https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-41871958 Then again, maybe he had a change of heart and accepted Trump even closer to the end of his life https://www.cnn.com/2018/12/03/polit...ity/index.html Did he make it into the pearly gates, or backslide at the last moment securing his place in eternal damnation? 3. I'm curious to learn more information about the Holy Spirit that isn't in the Bible. The Bible gives many accounts of you and your Father's loving nature, but comparatively few about the Holy Spirit. For example, why are you so forgiving when people blaspheme you but not the Holy Spirit? What is the Holy Spirit's nature and involvement in life the universe and everything? 4. No disrespect intended, I'm sure you and your father have a great reason for everything you do, but between you and me (and I suppose anyone reading this) do you ever feel like you're getting the short end of the stick compared to your Father? He gets to have lots of fun with a global flood, then promises never to do it again (depriving you of an opportunity to do it), sends all sorts of plagues into existence, destroys cities like Sodom for homosexuality, and talks directly to those on Earth with massive shows of force again and again. For example, he even used his powers to 'harden Pharoah's heart" Exodus 9:12, which as far as I can see is contrary to free will just so he can send down more plagues. Then after having a blast, He gets you to pay for the sins of beings he creates through an ultimate sacrifice on your part, then as soon as you make it into Heaven and achieve your ultimate power which you richly deserve, as far as my limited understanding can tell is the equivalent of the Prime Directive is implemented ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prime_Directive ) preventing you from having the same fun is. At first i didn't say much about this because I thought that this policy change might have been your idea, in which case, it would be a great idea! Like everything you do is a great idea. Praise you! However, this post in one of your more recent threads made me suspect otherwise: Quote:
You are coming back at some point, but your dad won't even tell you when that point is. If I didn't know better, I'd say it's almost as if your dad doesn't want you to experience the same joy He did. |
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So given that, I feel like we owe it to Him to do our due diligence prior to using up His valuble time. I'd like to remind you that this question has been asked and answered a few times in previous years. Quote:
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Dear Jesus, I have this beautiful doll of you I want to put on the Christmas tree, but I don't know if you want a pointy bramble up your heiney. :fear2: Is this okay? Can I put you there, please?
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Sincerely, Isabella W. |
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You know me I seldom drink... but when I do it's Spanish sherry; it's abit like Chardonnay. |
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Hi Jesus, can you guess which number I am thinking of?
Also, there is a certain wall that remains unfinished. Could you give me the exact day of finalization of the works? I mean, we are building it in your name. Thanks! |
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Can I please die? I feel I am ready for Heaven.
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I was once in a local repertory production of Jesus Christ Superstar. Some of my lines included: “Oh so this is Jesus Christ, I am really quite surprised. You seem so small; not a king at all! We both know that you are news, but are you king? King of the joos?”
So like did you get mad when I sang that? It seems kind of rude. Christmas is a Wednesday this year. Are you coming back Wednesday? |
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Please ignore Cranky. We need him here. I asked this in Your Name so You kind of have to do as I say. The Bible tells me so. Love, Larry the Meek and Mild |
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Oh Christ! I forgot to ask about Your Mom. How is she? I wonder how she feels about all the Catholics hailing her all the time. Or can she even hear it? Does she pray for us now and at the hour of our death?
In fifth grade, I drew a picture of her and You at the wedding in Cana. Did you like the picture? What kind of wine did You make? Did You bring the couple a nice gift? What was it? Was it expensive? Did they like it? I bet it was a toaster. :thumbsup: |
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Oh sweet Christ!
My sister will be moving away in a few weeks. Can you do something to make her stay? You see she'll be taking my young, clean limbed young Nephew and I worry that he may fall victim to a predatory homersexulist when I am not able to monitor his movements and activities. On an unrelated note, what's the best way to ensure the destruction of a hard drive? YIY |
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:badmood:BTW, I am feeling fabulous and generous this year! Bless me! |
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