Roadkill Recipe Corner
 

Ladies, I have just read that the State of California has finally legalized the eating of roadkill. Now although the newspaper article concerned is entitled How to eat roadkill: everything you need to know, I couldn't help noticing that it includes only a single recipe, for bear meat chili.

This sort of sloppy journalism is typical of the leftist/communist British press and is all the more egregious bearing in mind (pardon the pun) that - er, hello! - there are no wild bears in Britain. So the only way I could kill one on the road would be by driving through a wildlife park, in which case the park's owner could probably claim some sort of culinary equivalent of droit du seigneur.

Obviously deer is easy, though we prefer to shoot our own. If you have a humpback bridge nearby, you may stun the occasional owl, though there is little meat on them. The most common roadkill locally (if you exclude dogs and cats) is squirrel. I have had some unsuccessful culinary experiments with squirrel, though Sister Basilissa's experiences in the southern Mexican lands may have given her expertise on rodent cuisine?

I can strongly recommend badger - though do make sure that the creature is not merely stunned, as an angry badger can be quite a distraction in the back of an automobile, especially if you have small children. Cooking it is very straightforward, as long as you avoid the internal organs. This is really all you need to know.

https://secure.i.telegraph.co.uk/mul...l_2857943b.jpg

Now God meant us to eat all animals - Genesis 9:3 Every moving thing that liveth shall be meat for you; even as the green herb have I given you all things. So, ladies, what do you recommend? I would be particularly interested to hear about otter. And there must be some way to make domestic dog/cat palatable?

Re: Roadkill Recipe Corner
 

Greetings!

Just to inform you but not to make a judgement Rastafari do not like to have to get on an elevator full of white people because they all small bad from eating meat.

Jah Guide!
Trevor

Re: Roadkill Recipe Corner
 

Thank you for your informative post, Sister Joanna! :thumbsup: Indeed, rodents - such as guinea pigs - can be really tasty, when well prepared. Deep frying makes them nice and crunchy, and when roasting, stuffing them with herbs makes the flavor just splendid! :drool:

In addition to roadkill, there is plenty of other meat that it being wasted annually. I was particularly drawn to this fragment:

According to PETA's own statistics, they kill annually 72% of animals in their care (down from 95% a few years ago) - that includes healthy animals which were taken from their owners. So that got me thinking. Personally, I would never eat such a thing, but there are so many poor people. They should start improving their diets and overall health by looking for and picking up roadkill, of course. But there also should be some sort of partnership between soup kitchens and PETA: so much free meat should not go to waste! :thumbsup:

Re: Roadkill Recipe Corner
 

Thank you, Sister! :thumbsup: If I ever run over enough guinea pigs to feed my family then I shall certainly bear that in mind. The problem is, I imagine, that they might be rather too flat to be stuffed - hence the deep-frying. Perhaps it is the healthy, marrow-rich bone fragments that cause the crunchiness.

Oh, absolutely, though I wouldn't feed euthanized meat to my own children, obviously - what with the chemicals. I was thinking more of the perfectly healthy, chemically unsullied dogs/cats and (specifically) otters who insist on crossing the road in front of me.

Re: Roadkill Recipe Corner
 

Obviously! I was talking about feeding the poor, not your own family - eww! :bad:

Of course, Sister. Although I must admit I have a little bit of an allergy, so I might just stick to vegetarian foods when visiting you in the future. My allergy requires that I only eat grain fed, free range, organic meat that was properly slaughtered, rather than spent an undisclosed amount of time baking on the sunlit asphalt. I hope you understand. :)

Re: Roadkill Recipe Corner
 

What can I say but :fear2:? But don't fret - we'd never serve stale roadkill to anyone, least of all True Christian™ lady guests. What the staff eat is, of course, entirely up to them. And the boys, being boys, will go their own way - it doesn't seem to have done them any harm, thanks to the protection of Jesus. But the rule on roadkill is similar to the 5-second rule about food that has been dropped on the floor. "Never eat anything you haven't run over yourself".

Re: Roadkill Recipe Corner
 

Oh, that changes everything! :thumbsup: Driving on Midwestern roads, that doesn't count as collecting roadkill, it's just off-season deer hunting with car. :) Completely legal, and a total win-win, as it usually results in the insurance paying for a new car. :innocent:

Re: Roadkill Recipe Corner
 

Here in the midwest, it's coon, coon, and more coon.

Re: Roadkill Recipe Corner
 

Meh, I wouldn't stop for a raccoon, Brother. It doesn't even leave a dent on my car, and it's usually too flat to be edible. :thumbdown: Deer, that's a different story, I love venison but have no patience to freeze my delicate behind off waiting for one to show up. And even if one does show up, I usually miss. :wacko: A car is much more reliable weapon than a rifle when deer hunting! :thumbsup:

Re: Roadkill Recipe Corner
 

This could come under the heading of patriotic poultry as there are large numbers of eagles being killed - even though they come under the heading of a protected species. It could be called free range wind turbine rotisserie, but we need some spices here - maybe a brine with a marinade.




Another free range specialty for those living near the Mojave desert - solar power Cajun blackened bird (species may vary), that smoke coming from burning feathers is bound to produce a unique flavor and the envy of New Orleans.

Re: Roadkill Recipe Corner
 

Not long after I joined, someone (I believe it was Sister Mitza?) sent me a recipe for squirrel brains which was absolutely delicious! Ever since then, my husband goes out of his way to hit squirrels so we can have their brains. They are delicious and the boys have a field day when they can skin and crack open their skulls.

Re: Roadkill Recipe Corner
 

Oh, was Brother Dennis talking about raccoons? I must have misunderstood.

I recall from my boys' dissection experiments that squirrels have extraordinarily small brains- not much more than a mouthful, possibly less when cooked. So, however delicious, they are probably not worth the gasoline. Of course it may be that the American gray squirrel has a bigger brain than those of his foolish ancestors who migrated to Europe? This would be unsurprising.

I haven't seen a squirrel on our property in Freehold since the Mayor's ordinance banning them. Thank you for your thoroughly efficient management of our city, Brother Mr Mayor, Sir! :thumbsup:

Re: Roadkill Recipe Corner
 

They aren't - I know that for a fact because in my area we have both red European and black/grey native squirrels, and their heads look tiny.

I, too, was surprised by the weapon of choice Dana uses to kill squirrels - wouldn't using a slingshot be a more effective method (in terms of the economic value of resources used and of the time spent)? :hmmm:

Also, while I have never tried squirrel meat, I am told that this time of the year they are quite tasty (due to the fat accumulation), so throwing out the meat only to eat the brain does seem like a waste of resources. Maybe Dana is reserving the meat for her dogs, or donates to her local soup kitchen? I do hope someone ends up eating it! :thumbsup:

Re: Roadkill Recipe Corner
 

I'm pleased to report that the ghastly little red rodent has pretty much been eliminated from Britain by its more successful American cousin. We await the US's successful eradication of other menaces, such as teenage motorcyclists riding on the left-hand side of the road, though a start has been made on that. :thumbsup:
My husband says that squirrels make useful target practice for the younger children, before they can be trusted to move on from the .22 to something more powerful. We don't eat the brains, obviously, because the boys go for the head-shot. And until someone comes up with a decent recipe for the meat, we'll continue to leave it for the foxes or the staff - whoever gets there first.

Re: Roadkill Recipe Corner
 

True, by the time they are run over with the car, there is not much meat left on them. The boy salvage what fur they can as they are making some type of blanket with the fur of different animals. Luckily we live in a part of the country where squirrels are plentiful so we are never at a loss for brains!

Re: Roadkill Recipe Corner
 

I really don't know how to respond to that, so perhaps it's best that I don't.

Re: Roadkill Recipe Corner
 

As far as owls are concerned, do not eat the wrong ones.

Le:11:13: And these are they which ye shall have in abomination among the fowls; they shall not be eaten, they are an abomination: the eagle, and the ossifrage, and the ospray,
[...]
Le:11:16: And the owl, and the night hawk, and the cuckow, and the hawk after his kind,
Le:11:17: And the little owl, and the cormorant, and the great owl,
[...
Le:11:19: And the stork, the heron after her kind, and the lapwing, and the bat.

You'll note that the owl is mentioned in two verses. The first one is where God was giving the list, the two in Le:11:17, are there because the scribe writing it all down asked "Oh God, is that all owls or just some? For verily there art, in Thy creation, one score of kind of owls in Judea and Israel."

And so God spake unto him Le:11:17. The little owl is clear enough, Athena noctua. And to be quite frank, they are not much of a mouthful - all feathers, bones and beak, so that was good advice. The great owl would be a more substantial meal - it is the Pharaoh Eagle Owl (Bubo ascalaphus) but they are notoriously difficult to kill and they will take a few fingers off the unwary as quickly as Jesus raises the dead - so that's good advice too.

Re: Roadkill Recipe Corner
 

Well absolutely, Pastor Bathfire! As you so wisely say, there are far too many types of owl for the lesser theologians (women) among us to distinguish. Fortunately, my children's scientific experiments have revealed that none of them is worth the effort of plucking. And - even disregarding this - their stomachs tend to be full of mouse remnants, entirely in contravention of Leviticus 11:29.

I think we can lay to rest the need for owl recipes. Thank you, Pastor.

It is curious, by the way, that Leviticus 11:30 specifically mentions the chameleon. A deceased chameleon would be difficult to find, let alone prepare for the table.

Re: Roadkill Recipe Corner
 

Well. I'll be on the lookout for squirrel recipes just in case the whole Brexit thing goes haywire at the end of this month. :thumbsup:

Re: Roadkill Recipe Corner
 

My dear Mr. Bryan, I would strongly advise against consumption of birds dispatched in this manner or in any other manner if they've frequented areas where these liberal death machines have been deployed. As you may recall, it was illustrated by our blessed President Donald J. Trump that these hellish contraptions do cause cancer and there's no reason to think creatures who spend time in their midst are not also thus afflicted. As such, better safe than sorry. Best to get poultry of this sort from areas a good distance away from known carcinogenic machinery. May Jesus watch over your culinary adventures and protect you from liberal-made diseases.