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Meek and Humble 02-08-2009 07:44 PM

Re: A Poem about the Gospels
A Poem Based On 1 John

These are the last times, for there are now many antichrists, wrote John, only some 1,900 years ago!
If you deny that Jesus is the Christ, you are a liar and an antichrist!
Get ready, for Jesus is coming soon, wrote John, circa 90 AD!
Whoever commits a sin is of the devil!
Whoever is born of God never sins, for God's seed is in him, he cannot sin, because he is born of God!
Even as John wrote this letter, the Anti-Christ was already in the world!
God is love!
Christians are of God, everyone else is wicked!

Meek and Humble 02-08-2009 07:54 PM

Re: A Poem about the Gospels
A Poem Based On John

John 3:16 is thrown around a lot, but I prefer 3:18 - "He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God."
The wrath of God is on all unbelievers!
Handicaps are punishment of God, if cripples want to get better, they need to stop sinning!
To have eternal life, you must eat Jesus' flesh and drink His blood!
Do not be like Jesus' family, who did not believe in Him!
Do not be like those who saw Jesus, and thought He was mad and had a devil inside Him!
If you do not believe in Jesus, you'll be thrown into a fire!
And before the Apostle John dies, Jesus shall return!

Meek and Humble 02-08-2009 08:07 PM

Re: A Poem about the Gospels
A Poem Based On 2 Peter

God is all-powerful, he even saved righteous Lot after the horny crowd refused to rape his daughters!
Do not be evil like Balaam, or maybe a donkey will rebuke you, too!
Those who lose faith are like dogs that eat their own vomit!
And yes, it's true we promised Jesus would return soon, and yes, all of the Fathers of the Church have died, and still He has not come, but really, just have some faith people!
Paul's epistles are hard to understand, and just like the other scriptures, if you try to understand them, you do so unto your own destruction!

Meek and Humble 02-11-2009 12:31 PM

Re: A Poem about the Gospels
A Poem Based On Acts

The Holy Spirit came down, and the Apostles spoke in tongues all over town (some people thought they were drunk!)
But this was to be expected, said Peter, since they were living in the last days!
If you don't know the name to salvation, you're heading to eternal damnation!
Ananias didn't give to Peter the money he made selling his land, so God killed him and his wife!
Philip drove out unclean spirits, and they screamed as they went out!
Peter dreamed a dream from God, wild beasts, creeping things, and fowls - rise Peter, kill and eat!
The Angel of the Lord made Herod be eaten of worms, since he gave not God the glory!
Sorcerers shall be made blind by the hands of those filled with the Holy Spirit!
Blessed be God, who ordains which men shall believe and be saved!
Even touching the handkerchief or apron of a holy person can cure your illnesses!
Beware those possessed by evil spirits, beware, for they know Jesus and Paul, and they'll jump on you and strip you naked!
Blessed be Paul, who converted the Ephesians - and had all of their old books burned!
Be careful not to fall asleep in church, you could end up like Eutychus, who died when he did it!
And so, as St Paul said, God shall smite thee, thou whited wall!

Nobar King 02-12-2009 02:48 AM

Re: A Poem about the Gospels
Amen, HB. Keep 'em coming.

Meek and Humble 02-12-2009 04:55 AM

Re: A Poem about the Gospels
A Poem Based On 1 Peter

Blessed be God, who with foreknowledge elected those to be saved by the sprinkling of the blood of Jesus Christ!
His sacrifice was foreordained since the foundation of the world, but was manifest for you in these last times, wrote Peter, only some 1,900 years ago!
Slaves, be subject to your masters with all fear, not only those who treat you well, but those who treat you horribly!
Likewise, wives, be subject to your husbands!
Women, use chaste conversation, coupled with fear! Do not braid your hair, wear gold, or use apparel. Imitate the holy women of the Old Testament, who were in subjection to their won husbands, like Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord.
Husbands, be good to your wives, for they are the weaker vessels!
The end of all things is at hand, said Peter, in approximately 60 AD!
And when the time comes, bad things will happen to us good Christians, but don't fret, the disobedient ungodly sinners will have it worse!

Meek and Humble 02-12-2009 02:48 PM

Re: A Poem about the Gospels
A Poem Based On Romans

The wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodly and unrighteous men!
For God is clearly seen in creation, there is no excuse not to believe except being ignorant and evil!!!
And these nonbelievers God gives up to uncleanness and vile affections!
In other words they become homosexuals!
Women giving up their natural use for men, and instead going after women!
And these homos, without natural affection, and those who tolerate their existence, are worthy of death!
Can God be unrighteous when He so righteously takes vengeance upon them?!
For God made the law so that the sin might abound!
For God foreknow, and predestinated who He would call, and only they can be justified, and then glorified!
If God is for us, who is against us?!
A Christian can't do anything wrong, for God justifies him!
For even before you are born, in the womb, having done no good or evil, your fate has been decided, not of works, but of the will of God!
If there is a chance that the unelected could be saved, God makes sure to blind them from the truth, like He did to the Jews when Jesus came!
The powers that be are ordained of God, and whoever resists them shall be damned!
And if you don't like eating meat, face it, you're WEAK!
Let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind!
He who doubts is damned if he eat, for whatsoever is not of faith is sin!
Avoid everyone who does not have the exact same beliefs as you!

Meek and Humble 02-12-2009 03:41 PM

Re: A Poem about the Gospels
A Poem Based On James

Pure religion is this: to visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep yourself unspotted from the world.
What does it matter, brothers, if a man says he has faith, yet has no good deeds to his name? Can faith save him?
Faith without works is dead.
You believe there is one God, and that's all well and good, but so do the devils, and they tremble.
By works a man is justified, and not by faith only.
You don't know what tomorrow will bring, life is like a vapor, here for while, and then gone.
Rich men - weep and howl for the miseries that shall come upon you.

It is wrong to be merciless to others, if you are so evil as to be merciless, God shall righteously be merciless towards you!
All beasts, all birds, all serpents, and sea creatures have been tamed by man!
If you prayed, and your prayer was no answered, it's because you prayed evilly, for something just to fill your lusts!
Whoever is a friend of the world is an enemy of God!
The coming of the Lord draweth nigh, wrote James, only some 1,900 years years ago!
And if you are sick, let the elders pray over you, that is the only way you'll get better!

Meek and Humble 02-12-2009 04:14 PM

Re: A Poem about the Gospels
A Poem Based On 1 Corinthians

Ten things that keep you out of heaven: 1) fornicating 2) idolatry 3) adultery 4) acting like a sissy 5) being a homo 6) stealing 7) coveting 8) alcoholism 9) hating 10) extortion
Do you not have a wife? Well then, don't get married!
Forget marriage, for the time is short, wrote Paul, only some 1,900 years ago!
Do not be friends with gentiles, for they are devils!
For just as God is in charge of Jesus, and Jesus in charge of men, so men are in charge of women!
Women must keep their heads covered in church, if they refuse, shave them bald!
Men should not be covered up, for they are made in the image of God - women are just made of the image of men, women were made from men, and for men, not vice versa!
It is a shame for a man to have long hair, but a glory for women!
Women - be silent in church! Be obedient to your man! If you insist on trying to learn, do it at home, don't bother the congregation!

Meek and Humble 02-12-2009 04:44 PM

Re: A Poem about the Gospels
A Poem Based On Hebrews

God has spoken onto us by His Son, in these, the last days, wrote Paul, only some 1,900 years ago!
The Lord, in beginning, laid the foundation of the earth!
Those who do not believe have an evil heart!
Remember, that the only means by which to be forgiven of your sins is for blood of innocent creatures to be poured out - animals work, but if it's the blood of the Son of God, it's a sure fire thing!
Those who broke the law of Moses were killed without mercy, how much worst shall it be for those who disobey the Son of God!
Jesus shall come in a little while, He shall not tarry, wrote Paul, circa 100 AD.
If you do not have faith, it is impossible to please God!
Remember and imitate the heroes of faith - Samson, Jephthah, David, Samuel (see my poems on the books of Judges, 1 Samuel, 2 Samuel, and 1 Chronicles for more information)
If God loves you, He chastises and scourges you, like a father should - if He doesn't, you are not a child of God, but a bastard!
Remember, if an animal so much as touched the side of Mount Sinai, they were ordered to be stoned, or thrust through with a dart!
Always be kind to strangers, since they could be angels in disguise!
Remember not to carry on with strange doctrines!

Meek and Humble 02-14-2009 05:50 AM

Re: A Poem about the Gospels
A Poem Based On 2 Corinthians

We who are saved are a sweet smell unto God!
Praise the God of this world, who has blinded the minds of unbelievers!
Glory on high that He who was without sin was made into sin for us, so that God wouldn't have to torture us unrelentingly forever and ever!
Do not go near unbelievers, do not be their friends, do not marry them!
Bring your thoughts into captivity in obedience to Christ - don't you dare have an imagination!

Meek and Humble 02-14-2009 06:45 AM

Re: A Poem about the Gospels
A Poem Based On Philemon

The bowels of the saints are refreshed by thee, brother,
I ask on behalf of good old Onesimus, who I have taught well,
Who before was worthless, but now is worth both your and my while,
Although he was your slave and escaped, I send him back to you,
Receive him back, that is my own bowels.

Meek and Humble 02-14-2009 07:33 AM

Re: A Poem about the Gospels
A Poem Based On Galatians

If anyone teaches you differently than what Paul teaches, let him be accursed!
Similarly, those who try to follow the law of God are cursed!
Even Jesus was cursed by God!
Here are the things that keep you out of heaven: adultery, fornication, dirtiness, dancing, idol-worshiping, doing magic, hating, rivalry, jealousy, anger, fighting, arguing, envy, killing, getting drunk, partying, etc.

Meek and Humble 02-14-2009 08:13 AM

Re: A Poem about the Gospels
A Poem Based On Titus

Remember the people of Crete are always liars, evil beasts, and lazy gluttons!
Pay no attention to Jewish fables, to commandments made by men that go against the truth!
Teach the young women to be sober, love their husbands and children, discreet, chaste, take care of the house, good, and obedient to their own husband!
Don't bother with long genealogies!
Those who circumcise are unruly deceivers, their mouths must be stopped!
Teach your servants to be obedient to their masters, to please them well in all things, not answering back, or stealing, but showing all good fidelity!
Reject the heretics, for they are subverted sinners, condemning themselves against God!

Meek and Humble 02-14-2009 09:22 PM

Re: A Poem about the Gospels
A Poem Based On Ephesians

Praise be to God, who before the foundation of the world chose who would be holy, and loved by Him, according to the good pleasure of His will!
Praise to God, who killed His Son, so He would not have to torture those select few He loves for all eternity!
Women, submit to your husbands, just as the church submits to Christ!
Servants, obey your masters, just as if they were Christ!

Meek and Humble 02-15-2009 05:06 AM

Re: A Poem about the Gospels
A Poem Based On 2 Timothy

Be careful not to be ensnared by the devil, he can do it whenever he wills to!
ALL scripture is inspired by God - EVERY part is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness!
This is how it will be in the last days, everyone will be evil, as such - self-centered, jealous, proud, arrogant, blasphemers, bad to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, homosexual, breaking promises, liars, incontinent, angry, hating good, back-stabbers, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure!
Praise to Jesus, who called us select few with a holy calling before the world began, not because of anything we did, but just because he wanted to!
If you deny Him, He'll deny you!
Shun profane and vain babblers!
Do not be like Hymenaeus and Philetus, who say the resurrection has passed already!
Beware silly women, who are ever learning, for they shall be led away with divers lusts!

Meek and Humble 02-15-2009 07:08 AM

Re: A Poem about the Gospels
A Poem Based On Philippians

The day of Christ comes soon, wrote Paul, only some 1,900 years ago!
When they hear the name of Jesus, all things will bow - those in heaven, and on earth, and under the earth, and confess that Jesus Christ is Lord!
Beware of those dogs who do the evil work of circumcision!
The Lord is at hand, wrote Paul, circa 62 AD!
Think about what is true, honest, just, pure, lovely, of good report, those of virtue and of praise!
Do as Paul commands!

Meek and Humble 02-15-2009 04:11 PM

Re: A Poem about the Gospels
A Poem Based On 1 Timothy

Pay no attention to silly fables or endless genealogies!
Here are the people who are lawless: the disobedient, the ungodly, sinners, the unholy, the profane, those who commit patricide, those who commit matricide, murderers in general, pimps, homosexuals, slave traders, liars, perjurers, and any other thing contrary to sound doctrine!
Do not disagree with Paul, like Hymenaeus and Alexander, for they were delivered unto Satan, that they may learn not to blaspheme!
Women - dress modestly, with shamefacedness, and sobriety - don't braid your hair, wear gold, pearls, or anything expensive!
If a woman absolutely insists on learning, it must be in silence and all subjection - NEVER allow a woman to teach, to steal authority over a man, but ALWAYS in silence!
Men are greater than women, because Adam was made first, and Eve was the one deceived, but despite that women can still be saved if they have children!
Here are the signs that you are in the latter times - some shall depart from the faith, listen to seducing spirits, follow the doctrines of the devil, be lying hypocrites, people shall be forbidden to marry, and become vegetarians!
Don't worry about exercising your body!
Take pity on REAL widows: desolate, trusting in God, praying day and night - but don't care about FAKE widows: having pleasure, for they are dead women walking!
Here is the only reason you should help a widow, even if you live in a society where women earning an income is near-impossible: she must be over sixty, have had only one husband, has done good works that are well-reported, has raised children, has lodged strangers, washed the feet of the saints, relieved the afflicted, diligently followed every good work - but DON'T help widows under sixty, because they will wax wanton against Christ, re-marry, and be damned because of it - if you help them, they'll become lazy, mooching off her neighbors, gossipers, busybodies, speaking things they ought not - let them get married again, have children, take care of the house, and so Satan will not get to them - if you are taking care of these widows, cast them out to the street so you can have the resources to take care of real widows!
Rebuke those who sin in front of everybody, so that they may all learn to fear!
Do you have a stomach ache? Just drink a little wine!
Servants, honor your masters, or else you'll be a blasphemer!
Avoid science, falsely so called!

Meek and Humble 02-15-2009 04:22 PM

Re: A Poem about the Gospels
A Poem Based On Colossians

The gospel was preached to every creature under heaven!
Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy!
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as is fit in the Lord!
Servants, obey your master in all things!

Meek and Humble 02-15-2009 04:57 PM

Re: A Poem about the Gospels
A Poem Based On 2 Thessalonians

The Lord Jesus shall take vengeance on them that know not God by burning them forever in flaming fire!
The day of Christ is at hand, wrote Paul, only some 1,900 years ago!
He shall consume the wicked with the spirit of His mouth!
Beware Satan, who is all-powerful!
Thanks be to God, that he makes people delusional, so that they will believe a lie, so that God will have an excuse for damning them (believing the lie He made them believe)!
Do not hang out with people who do not follow Paul's tradition!

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