The Landover Baptist Church Forum
Page 1 of 3 1 23
Show 40 post(s) from this thread on one page

The Landover Baptist Church Forum (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forumindex.php)
-   Creation Science (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forumdisplay.php?f=20)
-   -   LBC Stands at the Forefront against Di-Hydrogen-Monoxide (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=66630)

James Hutchins 06-17-2011 08:51 PM
LBC Stands at the Forefront against Di-Hydrogen-Monoxide
 
As some of you know, I have a Masters degree in Organic Chemistry. Now, I did this just as I was entering the House of God© many, many years ago. I was young and foolish (you know how kids are) and did not understand the folly.
In my readings of the Bible, no where does it mention this chemical. Yet, I have it on good authority that secular 'science' has been using it constantly. It is in our reservoirs, it falls from the skies and covers Gods green Earth, getting into everything. I am sure each and every one of you have some in you. Why it is even in the wholesome milk our children drink and the single malt Scotch Rev. Osborne loves so dearly. Being he is a reverend, his highly tuned body is aware of it and on many occasions, he has complained of an abundance ruing his drink. Can you imagine what this substance is doing to the purity of our youngsters?
I know we can get rid of it by burying and by burning it in large steel drums. I'd like to propose using 100 acres of the Hutchins Plantation to retain this menace to Good True Christians™. I'll need donations to dig out a containment pit and line it in concrete as well as filtering system. It would be wise to add a heating system to aid in dealing with it.
It is a sacrifice, but I want to do my part to save us all. Won't you help? As little as $100 a day will make this miracle happen.

Billy Bob Jenkins 06-18-2011 12:23 AM
Re: LBC Stands at the Forefront against Di-Hydrogen-Monoxide
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins (Post 766287)
As some of you know, I have a Masters degree in Organic Chemistry. Now, I did this just as I was entering the House of God© many, many years ago. I was young and foolish (you know how kids are) and did not understand the folly.
In my readings of the Bible, no where does it mention this chemical. Yet, I have it on good authority that secular 'science' has been using it constantly. It is in our reservoirs, it falls from the skies and covers Gods green Earth, getting into everything. I am sure each and every one of you have some in you. Why it is even in the wholesome milk our children drink and the single malt Scotch Rev. Osborne loves so dearly. Being he is a reverend, his highly tuned body is aware of it and on many occasions, he has complained of an abundance ruing his drink. Can you imagine what this substance is doing to the purity of our youngsters?
I know we can get rid of it by burying and by burning it in large steel drums. I'd like to propose using 100 acres of the Hutchins Plantation to retain this menace to Good True Christians™. I'll need donations to dig out a containment pit and line it in concrete as well as filtering system. It would be wise to add a heating system to aid in dealing with it.
It is a sacrifice, but I want to do my part to save us all. Won't you help? As little as $100 a day will make this miracle happen.
Thank you for informing the Brethren and Sistren about this important factology, Brother James. While I am but a simple lumberjack, and no organical chemicist myself, I can appreciate the fact that the Lord has forbidden us from perverse and unnatural engagements, among them the consumption of illegal drugs and sodomistic sexomania. I would imagine that the placebo effect alone is sufficient to turn the consumers of this dangerous toxin into anal-sexoholics overnight, and turn them away from all that is Godly and decent. If we could rid the world of this dangerous drug, we could save many young folks from the eternal fire.

James Hutchins 06-18-2011 12:31 AM
Re: LBC Stands at the Forefront against Di-Hydrogen-Monoxide
 
Thank you Billy Bob. Just so you know, we do need a man who can do some brick laying for the facilities buildings Prayer Chapel and barbecue pit.
The work to maintain this menace will require a full time staff and we need to ensure their comfort performing Gods work.

Billy Bob Jenkins 06-18-2011 03:24 AM
Re: LBC Stands at the Forefront against Di-Hydrogen-Monoxide
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins (Post 766348)
Thank you Billy Bob. Just so you know, we do need a man who can do some brick laying for the facilities buildings Prayer Chapel and barbecue pit.
The work to maintain this menace will require a full time staff and we need to ensure their comfort performing Gods work.
Though my expertise is in wood working and lumberjackery, I have laid my fair share of bricks, pipe, and cable as well. I am also an experienced supervisor of Mexican'ts and Neegrows; if you have any on site you will need someone to keep them motivated and away from eachother's butts.

HTannor 06-21-2011 11:43 AM
Re: LBC Stands at the Forefront against Di-Hydrogen-Monoxide
 
Brother Hutchins, with your advanced degree in organic chemistry, you have extensive knowledge about this scourge, but some of our Brothers and Sisters may need further information about this substance.

In the interest of broadening their understanding, I present, in layman's terms, more facts about this chemical:
Dihydrogen monoxide:
  • is called "hydroxyl acid", the substance is the major component of acid rain.
  • contributes to the "greenhouse effect".
  • may cause severe burns.
  • is fatal if inhaled.
  • contributes to the erosion of our natural landscape.
  • accelerates corrosion and rusting of many metals.
  • may cause electrical failures and decreased effectiveness of automobile brakes.
  • has been found in excised tumors of terminal cancer patients.
Despite the danger, dihydrogen monoxide is often used:
  • as an industrial solvent and coolant.
  • in nuclear power plants.
  • in the production of Styrofoam.
  • as a fire retardant.
  • in many forms of cruel animal research.
  • in the distribution of pesticides. Even after washing, produce remains contaminated by this chemical.
  • as an additive in certain "junk-foods" and other food products.

Alvin 06-24-2011 01:55 PM
Re: LBC Stands at the Forefront against Di-Hydrogen-Monoxide
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins (Post 766287)
I'll need donations to dig out a containment pit and line it in concrete as well as filtering system. It would be wise to add a heating system to aid in dealing with it.
It is a sacrifice, but I want to do my part to save us all. Won't you help? As little as $100 a day will make this miracle happen.
Brother Hutchins, I must admit I had heard of this menace before, but now that you and Brother Tannor have put the threat to mankind in such clear words, I can sit on the Olypmic regulation-size sidelines no longer!


Luke 14:27 And whosoever doth not bear his cross, and come after me, cannot be my disciple.

I'm happy to share the burden of containing this dangerous acid and at the same time bear my cross (due to its weight/displacement ratio).

May I also suggest to have a separate, smaller enclosure - perhaps 6x6 feet and 3 feed deep - which would allow artificially oxygenating Di-Hydrogen-Monoxide by direct injection of air, to ensure prompt hydrogen-bonding of any existing free radicals?

On an even smaller level, using a modified Erlenmeyer Kolben, I would even volunteer to facilitate hydrogen-bonging with any True Christian Brothers or Sisters in Faith.

:innocent:

YiC,

Alvin

328 Sins 06-24-2011 04:50 PM
Re: LBC Stands at the Forefront against Di-Hydrogen-Monoxide
 
Boycott this evil chemical then, it will surely go away if we stand united against it. Once it has succesfully been stopped then things can resume with alternatives to it. The absense of this chemical amoung us can only only make us stronger than all non believers, along with faith in the lord heathens will die in their own self made acid rains in chink land, abbo island and the likes.

Barry 06-24-2011 05:19 PM
Re: LBC Stands at the Forefront against Di-Hydrogen-Monoxide
 
Thank you James for your great work helping to rid the world of this fiendish chemical. Please keep me informed of your progress building the waste storage facility. Once completed, I could probably contribute a couple of liters a day. Normally I rather guiltily flush it down the toilet and worry what it might be doing in the enviroment. So this really does answer my prayers.

James Hutchins 06-24-2011 07:22 PM
Re: LBC Stands at the Forefront against Di-Hydrogen-Monoxide
 
Every little bit helps. Only with the support of the True Christians™ can we make this dream a reality. Once completed, all Gold and above contributors will be given thier own keys to the facility to bask in Gods Glory. :yahoo:

HTannor 06-24-2011 09:06 PM
Re: LBC Stands at the Forefront against Di-Hydrogen-Monoxide
 
Brother James: word of your project must be spreading throughout the interwebs.


I just received notice from one of my operatives that says:


Quote:

"Your Honor, I have just been contacted by one Okobono Obangy who asked if it would be acceptable to invest in the “Jammes Hutchinson” project." The note reads:
To: (operative name deleted due to confidentiality agreements)

From: Mr. Okobono Obangy
Nigerian Consulate
The Hague,
The Netherlands

Greetings, good sir. May the blessings of our beneficent Lord be upon you.

It has come to my attention that a Mr. Jammes Hutchinson of Freehold, Iowa, is developing a project that will rid our wonderful earth of a nefarious chemical that causes so much misery for many.

My homeland faced that same problem many years ago and we eradicated it by expanding the Sahara Desert to sop up as much of this substance as possible. The project was an outstanding success and now there is little of this chemical to be found.

We financed the desert expansion by imposing modest annual taxes on every person in our nation. Through an unfortunate oversight the tax was never repealed and we have, shall we say, an “embarrassment of riches” that keeps growing annually.

Which brings me to the reason I am in correspondence with a good sir such as yourself.

We are prepared to forward the sum of $43,000,000 U.S. dollars as our investment in this battle to eradicate the nuisance chemical from your environment.

In order to release the funds we will need certain information from you which I will be prepared to discuss if your countryman is interested. Please contact me at your earliest convenience.

Sincerely,
“Okie”
Brother James, as a Jurist of some repute, I approach most things with a sense of caution and this offer reaffirms my instincts.

My chief concern is that the $43 million might entitle them to "Gold" or above status thus granting them their own keys to the facility. I shudder to think that a tribe of them would show up, use the key to gain entrance, and overwhelm the filtration system.

Perhaps I'm being alarmist, but.............

Hannah Is Saved 07-04-2011 10:19 PM
Re: LBC Stands at the Forefront against Di-Hydrogen-Monoxide
 
When I first read this thread, I was sure Brother Hutchinson was exaggerating. Surely there is no such chemical! But after doing my own research, I found that not only does it exist, but it;s everywhere, and is dangerous!
This chemical can be found on every continent in the world in abundance. Why, it's even in all the food we eat! However, despite being so common, is has potentially lethal side affects.
Consumption of this chemical can cause excessive urination, excessive sweating, and if too much is ingested, can cause death! Not only this, but approximately 3,300 people fall in and die in large pools of this chemical every year, in the United States alone!
This horrible chemical must be eradicated! Surely God would not want such a vile thing to ruin his very own creation?

James Hutchins 07-04-2011 11:14 PM
Re: LBC Stands at the Forefront against Di-Hydrogen-Monoxide
 
  • My name Is Hutchins.:angry:

Hannah Is Saved 07-05-2011 01:08 AM
Re: LBC Stands at the Forefront against Di-Hydrogen-Monoxide
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins (Post 771758)
  • My name Is Hutchins.:angry:
Sorry, I know a James Hutchinson and I mixed your names up.

Rev. Friday Obobo 07-05-2011 09:27 PM
Re: LBC Stands at the Forefront against Di-Hydrogen-Monoxide
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by HTannor (Post 768736)
Brother James: word of your project must be spreading throughout the interwebs.


I just received notice from one of my operatives that says:


Brother James, as a Jurist of some repute, I approach most things with a sense of caution and this offer reaffirms my instincts.

My chief concern is that the $43 million might entitle them to "Gold" or above status thus granting them their own keys to the facility. I shudder to think that a tribe of them would show up, use the key to gain entrance, and overwhelm the filtration system.

Perhaps I'm being alarmist, but.............
I must warn you for this Okobono character. He's a scammer. Did he write he would transfer 43 million US Dollar? The fool doesn't even have 2 Naira to scratch his behind with. Besides Nigeria doesn't border to the Sahara desert so I don't know what he's talking about with that solution of his.

Ofcourse I will be more than happy to donate $100 into your project to get rid of this foulsmelling chemical.

YiC,

Rev. Friday Obobo

HTannor 07-05-2011 10:14 PM
Re: LBC Stands at the Forefront against Di-Hydrogen-Monoxide
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. Friday Obobo (Post 772012)

Ofcourse I will be more than happy to donate $100 into your project to get rid of this foulsmelling chemical.

That's quite generous of you, Rev. Obobo.


By the way, where did you get the $100?


I would hate to think it was scammed from a Godly American™ in some sort of Nigerian scheme.

Redeemed Papist 07-05-2011 11:04 PM
Re: LBC Stands at the Forefront against Di-Hydrogen-Monoxide
 
Once again it is clear that the world of science is keeping the true extent of its devilry from us! Now I find that the very oceans are laced with this stuff but have they warned us of the dangers of sailing on it or going on seaside holidays! It falls to the soldiers of God to warn the people, but will they listen to us over and above conspirationalist scientists? I fear not!

Rev. Friday Obobo 07-11-2011 07:33 PM
Re: LBC Stands at the Forefront against Di-Hydrogen-Monoxide
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by HTannor (Post 772017)
I would hate to think it was scammed from a Godly American™ in some sort of Nigerian scheme.
Excuse me for the late reply, Judge Tannor. No, the $100 wasn't scammed of an Godly American. I wouldn't dare. God would send me straight to hell if I would do a thing like that. It's money I earned with speaking at local churches and selling the cookies my wife baked.

YiC,

Rev. Friday Obobo

HTannor 07-11-2011 08:31 PM
Re: LBC Stands at the Forefront against Di-Hydrogen-Monoxide
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. Friday Obobo (Post 773788)
Excuse me for the late reply, Judge Tannor. No, the $100 wasn't scammed of an Godly American. I wouldn't dare. God would send me straight to hell if I would do a thing like that. It's money I earned with speaking at local churches and selling the cookies my wife baked.

YiC,

Rev. Friday Obobo

Excellent, Rev. Obongo

It's quite reassuring you know your place in life and work hard peddling cookies and pithy remarks to all the spades in your area.

Rev. Friday Obobo 07-11-2011 08:43 PM
Re: LBC Stands at the Forefront against Di-Hydrogen-Monoxide
 
Thank you for your kind reaction, judge. Yes I do know my place in life. Ofcourse I can never achieve the status you have. Besides I do not live in Gods' favourite countr with all it's opportunities.

YiC,

Rev. Friday OBOBO (you clearly made a small mistake on writing my name. It's no big deal though. Just in case you misplaced your glasses I put in CAPS)

HTannor 07-11-2011 09:20 PM
Re: LBC Stands at the Forefront against Di-Hydrogen-Monoxide
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. Friday Obobo (Post 773804)

Rev. Friday OBOBO (you clearly made a small mistake on writing my name. It's no big deal though. Just in case you misplaced your glasses I put in CAPS)
Oh, sorry, Rev. Obobo, you all look so much alike that I got confused when typing you name.



By the way, I just heard that some gook county somewhere was awarded some Olympic Games sometime in the future and I was wondering if you were going to try out for your country's spear-chucking team.


All times are GMT. The time now is 08:57 PM.
Page 1 of 3 1 23
Show 40 post(s) from this thread on one page

Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved