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-   -   AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=13561)

Ezekiel Bathfire 07-26-2008 03:06 PM

Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS!
 
76. Perfumed soap (other than carbolic) softens and weakens the skin and allows airborne AIDS germs to enter. Never, ever use it below the waist.

Pastor Isaac Peters 07-26-2008 03:34 PM

Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS!
 
77. Contemporary furniture. All of those vast, smooth surfaces are ideal breeding grounds for the AIDS germs.

Nobar King 07-26-2008 04:15 PM

Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS!
 
78. Pajamas. Not pajamas in general, but, particularly, letting your child think it is OK to go outside in his sleepwear. Children should NOT be going to school in their underwear. Some parents are lax in this department, however, and their kids are at risk of falling prey to the gay teachers or other individuals in positions of authority. Then they get the AIDS.

Also, young boys should only wear sleepwear in manly colors (blue, green, certain shades of plad, manly houndstooth). Giving your child pajamas that are pink or red or have flowers on them will turn him into a sissy boy.

Nobar King 07-26-2008 04:22 PM

Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS!
 
79. Did anyone mention techno music, yet? Be alert to the music your teen listens too. If he plays too much Daft Punk or other techno music late at night that might mean that he's practicing being a homo.

If the problem is your neighbor's loud techno music parties that last late into the night, it's probably a den of homers. Either call the cops and have them evicted, or move. Moving's probably a better idea, because the apartment is probably infected already.

80. Raves: See rule 79.

81. Glowsticks: See rule 80.

Daisy Mae Johnson 07-26-2008 04:30 PM

Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS!
 
82: Door Knobs and other surfaces in the public. I suggest always wearing plastic gloves when you are out and about. Those white face masks are probably a good idea too.

VictoryOS 07-26-2008 04:31 PM

Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS!
 
I once heard homers insert glowsticks into their rectums so the gerbil knows which way to go. Does anyone know if there is any truth to that?

Nobar King 07-26-2008 04:37 PM

Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS!
 
Aren't they like bats? Can't they see in the dark? Or would that be moles?

Brother Temperance 07-26-2008 04:37 PM

Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS!
 
#82: Opening or downloading an attachment in an email sent to you by a sodomite.

eliot mayfield 07-26-2008 07:08 PM

Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS!
 
83 Using a telephone that's not cordless.

Nobar King 07-26-2008 07:20 PM

Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS!
 
85. I've started buying my shoes online. There are websites that ship for free, and they take anything back, so there's no hassle. It's nice knowing that I'm not trying on some shoes that someone else had tried on already.

That said, I recommend that True Christians avoid the Goodwill used clothing stores. They are good charities, and I suspect that they wash (or spray) the clothes, but you never know who owned them before that. Just be safe and buy your clothes new, preferably sealed in plastic.

Billybob Sunday 07-26-2008 07:32 PM

Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS!
 
86. Avoid buying diamond jewelry. Diamonds are mined by African negroes, and most of them have aids. If you must buy diamonds, take them to a Landover minister immediately so that the Brother can pray over them and remove their filthy diseases.

commie!commie!commie! 07-26-2008 07:45 PM

Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS!
 
Scaremongering

Pastor Isaac Peters 07-26-2008 07:58 PM

Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by commie!commie!commie! (Post 214530)
Scaremongering

Would you please rewrite that in a complete sentence? Are you saying that sodomite scaremongering can cause people to catch the AIDS? I hadn't thought of that, but you could be right.

commie!commie!commie! 07-26-2008 08:04 PM

Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pastor Isaac Peters (Post 214539)
Would you please rewrite that in a complete sentence? Are you saying that sodomite scaremongering can cause people to catch the AIDS? I hadn't thought of that, but you could be right.

No, the point I am trying to get accross is that you are scaremongering.
Everyone knows you can't get aids from talking to a homosexual etc......

Simon of Cyrese 07-26-2008 08:26 PM

Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS!
 
#87 by continuing going to the försaken landover baptist church instead of joining the church of satan.:devil::devil::devil::devil::devil::devil::d evil::devil::devil::devil::devil::devil::devil::de vil::devil::devil::devil:

VictoryOS 07-26-2008 08:39 PM

Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by commie!commie!commie! (Post 214542)
No, the point I am trying to get accross is that you are scaremongering.
Everyone knows you can't get aids from talking to a homosexual etc......

Brother, when you talk with someone, they breathe all over you and sometimes spit a little. Are you saying breath and spit don't carry the AIDS germs?

Led zeppelin fan 07-26-2008 09:03 PM

Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS!
 
you know its true about baptist churchs. The pastors tried to rape one of my friends 3 times. But he decided to join the church of satan like i did.
:devil::devil::devil::devil::devil::devil::devil:: devil::devil::devil::devil:

Brother_Percy 07-26-2008 09:11 PM

Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Led zeppelin fan (Post 214575)
The pastors tried to rape one of my friends 3 times. But he decided to join the church of satan like i did.

Wow! So this apparent 'Pastor' who tried to rape your friend, then joined the Church of Satan? Makes me think he probably wasn't a Pastor at all. :thumbdown:

eliot mayfield 07-26-2008 09:15 PM

Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Brother_Percy (Post 214586)
Wow! So this apparent 'Pastor' who tried to rape your friend, then joined the Church of Satan? Makes me think he probably wasn't a Pastor at all. :thumbdown:

Nor was your friend particularly the brightest bulb in the lamp. Most people would run after being raped once, let alone twice! But hang around for the third time? I'd say your friend is a homer.

Led zeppelin fan 07-26-2008 09:16 PM

Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS!
 
No, my friend who was almost raped by the pastor joined the church of satan. The pastor is still at the baptist church raping poor kids. I thought you would know from first hand experience that baptist pastors rape children. Thats why i got all my friends and family to join the church of satan where we will be safe in this life, and be able to punish all the rapist baptists (which unfortunately there are alot of) in hell for all eternity after we die.
:devil::devil::devil::devil::devil::devil::devil:: devil::devil::devil::devil::devil::devil::devil::d evil::devil::devil:


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