Breaking: wind. (Tornadoes). Yang Gang trashes hotel. Chokahantas.
 

BREAKING:

The Committee on the Rights of the Child of the United Nations condemns the government of the Cook Islands for criminalizing homosexual sex.

Wait what?

Say again?

The Committee on the Rights of the Child of the United Nations condemns the government of the Cook Islands for criminalizing homosexual sex.

Why does a child-rights committee care about buttsex? Is this a case of bureaucratic mission-creep, or just plain creep-creep?

Meanwhile proof that God does not answer the prayers of false-Christians:

2020 coronavirus outbreak in Vatican City

A Vatican source said the patient had participated in an international conference hosted by the Pontifical Academy of Life last week in a packed theatre several blocks from the Vatican.

Participants at the three-day conference on Artificial Intelligence included top executives of U.S. tech giants Microsoft and IBM.

Should have upgraded your virus protection, techbros.

A court in Russian-controlled Crimea sentences a Jehovah's Witness to six-years imprisonment for activities of a banned extremist organization...

What makes them extreme, do they sip their vodka instead of chugging it?

Xinjia Express Hotel, a hotel being used for COVID-19 quarantine in Licheng District, Quanzhou City, Fujian Province, China, collapsed...

The police started an investigation concerning Mr Yang, the proprietor of the hotel.

Turns out "Yang gang" is not just an expression....

The Republican-controlled Arizona House of Representatives passes a bill banning transgender females from women's sports.

Look, I'm no tran-fan myself, but what does this have to do with small and unobtrusive government? Why should government care? So they can oogle the athletes without accidentally mind-licking dude-booty?

Tranny cheerleaders on the other hand, now that would be worthy of a act of government.

After failing to win any states on Super Tuesday, Massachusetts U.S. Senator Elizabeth Warren suspends her presidential campaign, leaving Hawaii U.S. Representative Tulsi Gabbard as the only woman left in the race.

So if you're so sexist you can't vote for a man, you'll have to trade Pocahantas for Chokahantas:
https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/13...g?v=1520534099

Offended by the artistic representation of a brown person? Why, is she the prophet Mohammed?

The National Weather Service reports 11 tornadoes touched down resulting in 25 confirmed deaths. Eighteen people remain unaccounted for.

Oz is real. Liberal-bias geography is Fake News. SHARKNADOS TO COME!

MSNBC political anchor Chris Matthews resigns over criticism of making sexist comments and comparing Bernie Sanders' campaign to the Nazi invasion of France.

...Because both are ancient history?