The Landover Baptist Church Forum

The Landover Baptist Church Forum (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forumindex.php)
-   Pastor Zeke's News Wire (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forumdisplay.php?f=13)
-   -   God is Using Hurricane Dorian to Destroy Homerism (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=116825)

Johny Joe Hold 09-04-2019 01:53 PM

God is Using Hurricane Dorian to Destroy Homerism
 
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see why the path of Hurricane Dorian leveled the Bahamas and is now focused like a laser of the Outer Banks of North Carolina. God has decided he has had it with homers mocking him.

The Bahamas have long been know at a homer destination. Bars and bathhouses beckon travelers with their sin.

The Outer Banks have a homer celebration known nationally. It is a three day orgy. God must have taken note of the date, coming right up. What better time to level the Outer Banks than when all the homers are gathered. The all-lesbian band, "Wicked Jezebel", will have to cancel.

https://www.obxpridefest.com/

Jeb Stuart Thurmond 09-05-2019 02:54 PM

Re: God is Using Hurricane Dorian to Destroy Homerism
 
Trump had a final solution to this problem, but due to democrat obstructionism and deep state sabotage, all we have is this t-shirt:

https://i.redd.it/wog0uyn71ui31.jpg

We need to organize a mass prayer to redirect all of these hurricanes to places that don't matter. I suggest we sent them to Malta: it's so hippiyfied that its air force only has 3 planes, and racially it's such a mongrel mix of Mediterranean greasiness that it gave us Pete Buttegeig.

We could trap Licked Jezebel there, better yet, let's organize a huge sin festival at Ibiza, and then announce a quarantine and just leave everybody there. They'll be too happy to try escaping and the resulting hurricane-magnet will spare the rest of us.

Johny Joe Hold 09-05-2019 03:29 PM

Re: God is Using Hurricane Dorian to Destroy Homerism
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jeb Stuart Thurmond (Post 1257497)
We need to organize a mass prayer to redirect all of these hurricanes to places that don't matter. I suggest we sent them to Malta: it's so hippiyfied that its air force only has 3 planes, and racially it's such a mongrel mix of Mediterranean greasiness that it gave us Pete Buttegeig.

We could trap Licked Jezebel there, better yet, let's organize a huge sin festival at Ibiza, and then announce a quarantine and just leave everybody there. They'll be too happy to try escaping and the resulting hurricane-magnet will spare the rest of us.

I agree we could make suggestions in our prayers as to where we want God to send the hurricanes. Personally, I don't want Him to send them to what looks like open seas but which host salmon farms. These screened off places in the oceans where salmon are fattened up and fed antibiotics. I happen to like a big inexpensive salmon on my dinner plate and would hate to see these farms harmed by too much turbulence.

WilliamJenningsBryan 09-05-2019 10:02 PM

Re: God is Using Hurricane Dorian to Destroy Homerism
 
Thanks for drawing attention to this Mayor, Jesus needed to send an extra large leaf blower and deploy it for an extended period of time to clean up the rampant sin in the Bahamas.

The fact of the matter is that coastal waters and their beaches have long been locations for depravity, sin and pervison to take place. Scantily clad women, men, and homers have long chosen these locations for their "hook up" ways of sodomy, fornication, wife swapping, and pervision.

Here's an old example of teen idol soy boy Frankie Avalon and Disney slut Annette Funicello shamelessly promoting "Beach Blanket Bingo" (and we all know what that means).


Basilissa 09-06-2019 04:22 PM

Re: God is Using Hurricane Dorian to Destroy Homerism
 
I must say I'm feeling confused about all this. I always thought that the Bahamas were a sh**hole country filled with black people. So I felt that God's Wrath was absolutely righteous, and God's decision to practically park a hurricane over these wretched islands for almost a week was certainly justified.

But now, they are showing on tv the survivors of the storm, and almost everyone they show and interview looks white and speaks perfect American! What does that mean?! Either I was wrong all along and the Bahamas are not a sh**hole country, or God in Hos Infinite Mercy spared the white people and killed off the black majority of the country.

There's simply no other logical explanation for this. :thumbsup:

Joanna Lytton-Vasey 09-06-2019 08:43 PM

Re: God is Using Hurricane Dorian to Destroy Homerism
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold (Post 1257475)
The Outer Banks have a homer celebration known nationally. It is a three day orgy. God must have taken note of the date, coming right up. What better time to level the Outer Banks than when all the homers are gathered. The all-lesbian band, "Wicked Jezebel", will have to cancel.

https://www.obxpridefest.com/

Brother Mr Mayor, Sir, I see that there are now hundreds of people trapped on the flooded island of Oprahcoke, only about 60 miles from the festival site.

I hope those perverts have packed their snorkels. :lol:


All times are GMT. The time now is 11:43 AM.

Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved