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-   -   AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS! (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=13561)

Brother_Percy 07-23-2008 06:36 PM

AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS!
 
Friends,

We all know AIDS is a fag-disease, and extremely contagious! So let's clear up any misconceptions right here, and look at the TRUTH™ about AIDS!

There are a lot of lies and false information going around about AIDS, mainly created by fags and homers to hide the truth from the unsuspecting public. But we know the facts!

So, let's just start off by talking about HIV. HIV IS AIDS! Anyone who tells you any different is a LIAR! :angry:

Now that we've cleared that up, we can discuss ways you could catch AIDS - because there is a LOT of debate on the subject.

So let's list the ways you can get AIDS right here -

Reason No 1 - Talking to a homer.

Yes, The AIDS virus itself lives in homer's blood, sweat, saliva, urine and excrement. Which means just by speaking to homers (especially if they spit a lot when they talk) can give you AIDS! :fear2:

Reason No 2 - From a public toilet seat.

It's a well know FACT that fags do the toilet sitting down like women. But did you know they purposefully 'wet' the toilet seats - because they want to give YOU AIDS too??! :fear2:

Yes, Fag Terrorists are all around us. And they want to give as many people as possibly AIDS! DON'T LET THEM! Be on alert when using public toilets, and try to keep your stools for your own home.

...More to follow....

Billybob Sunday 07-23-2008 06:42 PM

Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch AIDS!
 
Reason #3 - Tolerating homers. Not only should we avoid homers, we should actively condemn them.

As Brother Falwell (who is now sitting at the right hand of our Lord) said:

AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals.

Old Man Hatchet 07-23-2008 08:15 PM

Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch AIDS!
 
Number Four: Listening to Elton John's "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road" in its entirety.

http://www.mediacove.com/events/U_Ma...elton-john.jpg

Roberta 07-23-2008 08:22 PM

Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch AIDS!
 
1 Attachment(s)
Reason #5 You entertain an unacceptable level of GRID threat by eating anything prepared by a Mickey D's store. The corporation has historically advocated the hiring of Mongolian Idiots to avoid paying minimum wages. Now they are actively recruiting gaywads and carpet munchers. Cleanliness and stupidity are not an hygienic combination.

Ezekiel Bathfire 07-23-2008 08:28 PM

Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch AIDS!
 
  1. Headphones: never sit around listening to music through headphones unless they are your own, you bought them and you’ve never let them out of your sight.
  2. Mosquitoes: in homersexyurl districts (e.g. California) mosquitoes will suck blood from gays and inject you with it.
  3. Drinking from a public water fountain: drooling homers leave saliva behind and you drink it!
  4. Earrings: (pierced only) Women –never ever wear a homer’s earring it's like using his needle!
  5. Showers: droplets of water carry the AIDS germs, you breathe them in and ‘bang’ - fast train to the graveyard!
  6. Towels, homers rub themselves all over with these, then you rub yourself… stands to reason!
  7. Food, No one should ever touch your food – if a homer does touch it, the sweat and fat from the skin (crawling with AIDS germs) will get you.
  8. Public transport: As AIDS gets bad, the immune system fails and head lice and other things appear. Invariably the Homer can’t afford a car, so he travels on public transport, leaving behind him a trail of insect parasites gorged with his blood (see mosquitoes above.)

Bobby-Joe 07-23-2008 08:42 PM

Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch AIDS!
 
FACT #14 Self Abuse. Remember self abuse is gay sex (having sex with a man, yourself) Gay is the major cause of AIDs. Don't play with yourself.

FACT #15Anal Sex: Touching the bottom of another person, male or female with a tallywacker is an almost certain cause of AIDs. Remember God didn't give us butts so we could hump them.

Roberta 07-23-2008 08:58 PM

Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch AIDS!
 
Reason #16 Recycling gerbils
Reason #17 Entering a confessional
Reason #18 An LA Fitness facility
Reason #19 Visiting Lourdes

Daisy Mae Johnson 07-23-2008 09:06 PM

Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch AIDS!
 
Reason #20 Bicylce seats. They are smeared with fecal traces carrying the AIDS! Also homers like to sniff them and that can lead to getting and spreading the AIDS.

Reason #21 Public Pools. Homers like to pee and fornicate in them!

Bob4God 07-23-2008 09:07 PM

Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch AIDS!
 
22. Libraries. Homosexuals sometimes hang around local libraries to check out all the school kids. Don't let your kids touch anything in the children's section, as it's most certainly laced with filthy homo germs. In fact, they shouldn't even be in a library, unless it's to check out some wholesome Christian books.

23. VW New Beetles. A favorite mode of homo transportation, the New Beetle's roof is specifically designed by European fags to resemble the male buttocks, and excite sinful lust in the minds of young queers. I don't think I need to explain what the 'sunroof' is supposed to resemble. Avoid at all costs!

24. Lucky Charms. Now I don't have a lot of evidence for this one, but I feel the Spirit urging me to spread this warning. The popular breakfast cereal, Lucky Charms, is riddled with latent homosexual undertones. Think about it: Rainbows, magic, little men dressing up as fairies, or so-called 'leprehcauns.' Like most things that are enticing, it's a trap!

Nobar King 07-23-2008 09:36 PM

Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch AIDS!
 
  • 25: Raves. Even the flyers are gay.
  • 26: Flower stores. Don't buy your flowers from a guy.
  • 27: The apple store. Do you know how many homers tried those iPhone headphones on before you? Do you?
  • 28: I don't even want to think about public swimming pools.

Pastor Isaac Peters 07-23-2008 10:07 PM

Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS!
 
29. Compact cars. They are bound to have been test-driven by a homer, who left his AIDS germs all over the driver's seat and steering wheel. Also, when other homers see you driving it, they will be seized with desire and try to molest you. Why do you think God gave us Hummers?

30. Cars with manual transmissions. They are also bound to have been test-driven by a homer, who used the shift knob for ... um, never mind. :bad:

Brother_Percy 07-23-2008 10:21 PM

Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pastor Isaac Peters (Post 213542)
29. Compact cars. They are bound to have been test-driven by a homer, who left his AIDS germs all over the driver's seat and steering wheel. Also, when other homers see you driving it, they will be seized with desire and try to molest you. Why do you think God gave us Hummers?

30. Cars with manual transmissions. They are also bound to have been test-driven by a homer, who used the shift knob for ... um, never mind. :bad:


We're up to number 30 in just a few hours? Praise!

I can see the title of this thread changing to "1001 ways you can catch AIDS!" :fear2:

Thanks for pitching-in Brothers and Sisters, keep up the good work! Glory! :thumbsup:

Billybob Sunday 07-23-2008 10:31 PM

Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS!
 
31. Don't let your children watch Teletubbies, especially that Tinky-Winky homer.

http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/a...KY_335395a.jpg

Pastor Ezekiel 07-23-2008 10:59 PM

Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS!
 
#32. Visiting San Francisco.

#33. Eating in a French Restaurant.

Pastor Isaac Peters 07-23-2008 11:08 PM

Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS!
 
34. Voting Democratic. They will force you to live next door to a homer, and his AIDS germs will waft over the lawn to your house.

35. Going to a Romanist "church." The death cookie has been handled by a papist priest, who surely has it.

Bob4God 07-24-2008 12:20 AM

Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS!
 
36. Tanning beds. Many queers like to tan, and commit Onanism while doing so. All the disinfectant in the world can't kill the AIDs bacteria that's crawling all over those things.

37. Anything made in France.

38. Certain musical instruments. Flutes, violin necks and drumsticks (not that a True Christian should be messing with drums in the first place) all find their way into the hands of homosexuals, as well as certain homo orfices. Never, ever use pre-owned musical instruments, unless you're certain they were owned by upright Christians.

WilliamJenningsBryan 07-24-2008 01:56 AM

Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS!
 
39. Interior Decorating. Beware of paint colors like mauve, those pigments are mixed in homer factories.

40. Track Lighting. Again, those lighting fixtures are made in homer factories and if you accidentally cut yourself on a sharp metal edge you will get the AIDS.

Roberta 07-24-2008 03:06 AM

Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS!
 
#41 HOW COULD WE HAVE OVERLOOKED:

Nobar King 07-24-2008 03:14 AM

Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS!
 
42 AND 43: Pet salons and veterinarians offices. Fleas are like mosquitos; they suck blood and it can infect their next vicitm. Insects are well known disease vectors for viruses. Especially be careful of pet stylists who are single men. Any flea that your pet picks up could be infected. Come to think of it, fido's at risk, too, of cross-species transmission. It's happened before, right?

Also, stay away from flea markets.

Pastor Ezekiel 07-24-2008 06:52 AM

Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS!
 
44. Men wearing women's clothing.

45. Women wearing Men's clothing.


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