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-   -   Hula Hoops: Fun Toys or Fiendish Contraptions? (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=8811)

Old Man Hatchet 02-23-2008 07:24 PM

Re: Hula Hoops
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Dances with Joy (Post 149970)
You would put your car keys into your grandaughter's vagina? You're not just a pervert, you're a sadist.

If anyone is a sadist, it's you. You continue to inflict us with the pain of having to ready your whiney, liberal posts. Don't you have a rain forest or spotted owl to save somewhere?

Quote:

Originally Posted by narrowpathy (Post 149986)
6How fair and how pleasant art thou, O love, for delights!

9And the roof of thy mouth like the best wine for my beloved, that goeth down sweetly, causing the lips of those that are asleep to speak.
10I am my beloved's, and his desire is toward me.

What is wrong with girls learning how to pleasure True Christian men?
Hula-hoops are God's gift to True Christian men, reward for their tithing and all. I bet Jewish girls had some kinds of hula-hoops in order to learn how to better satisfy Lord's warriors. Praise Jesus!

You're advocating a toy that makes young girls--prepubescent girls--hanker for strange tallywacker? I think you need to reassess your morals. You are a despicable man.

Marshall 02-23-2008 07:28 PM

Re: Hula Hoops
 
Hula Hoops promote promiscuosity in the easily impressionable youth of today.

They aren't as smart as we were as children.

narrowpathy 02-23-2008 10:33 PM

Re: Hula Hoops
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Old Man Hatchet (Post 150020)
If anyone is a sadist, it's you. You continue to inflict us with the pain of having to ready your whiney, liberal posts. Don't you have a rain forest or spotted owl to save somewhere?



You're advocating a toy that makes young girls--prepubescent girls--hanker for a strange tallywacker? I think you need to reassess your morals. You are a despicable man.

Why a strange tallywacker? Have I said anything about strange tallywackers? When a girl gets mature enough to hanker for a tallywacker, it must be the tallywackers of her True Christian ™ fiance. That's an axiom, isn't it?

narrowpathy 02-23-2008 10:51 PM

Re: Hula Hoops
 
Also, hula Hoops only teach girls how to gyrate their hips, nothing more and nothing less. But your role as the parent is to explain that when she grows up, her main job will be gratifying her husband's sexual needs, and her husband's sexual needs only, so that he will be better motivated to insert his tallywacker in her cooter, so that she will get pregnant very often and give birth to many Lord's warriors who will fight for the Lord in overseas missions. It is your role as the Christian parent to make her understand that she will be saved in childbearing.
Of course she can get promiscous if you don't instill in her that promiscuosity is the road to Hell and if you don't explain what Hell is.

Old Iron Crotch 02-23-2008 10:56 PM

Re: Hula Hoops
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Old Man Hatchet (Post 150020)
If anyone is a sadist, it's you. You continue to inflict us with the pain of having to ready your whiney, liberal posts.

I'm not the one advocating sexually assaulting a little girl. You are.

Don't you have a rain forest or spotted owl to save somewhere?


Sounds like your granddaughter is in more danger from you than all the rain forests and spotted owls in the world combined. Sadistic pervert.

Old Man Hatchet 02-23-2008 11:06 PM

Re: Hula Hoops
 
Narrowpathy, do you think you have corrected my grammar? It is correct as it stands, you imbecile. All you have done is added an indefinite article to change "tallywacker" from plural to singular form. You are treading on thin ice. I suggest you choose your next words circumspectly.

Old Man Hatchet 02-23-2008 11:08 PM

Re: Hula Hoops
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Dances with Joy (Post 150073)
Sounds like your granddaughter is in more danger from you than all the rain forests and spotted owls in the world combined. Sadistic pervert.

That's enough with the sass mouth!

Old Iron Crotch 02-23-2008 11:10 PM

Re: Hula Hoops
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Old Man Hatchet (Post 150080)
That's enough with the sass mouth!


It's not nearly enough.

Old Man Hatchet 02-23-2008 11:16 PM

Re: Hula Hoops
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Dances with Joy (Post 150081)
It's not nearly enough.

You have just received infraction points. Next time you WILL be put on moderation or banned!

Marshall 02-23-2008 11:20 PM

Re: Hula Hoops
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by narrowpathy (Post 150071)
Also, hula Hoops only teach girls how to gyrate their hips, nothing more and nothing less. But your role as the parent is to explain that when she grows up, her main job will be gratifying her husband's sexual needs, and her husband's sexual needs only, so that he will be better motivated to insert his tallywacker in her cooter, so that she will get pregnant very often and give birth to many Lord's warriors who will fight for the Lord in overseas missions. It is your role as the Christian parent to make her understand that she will be saved in childbearing.
Of course she can get promiscous if you don't instill in her that promiscuosity is the road to Hell and if you don't explain what Hell is.

This sickening and perverse post has been forwarded to the Pastors main office at Landover Baptist proper in Gods own Freehold Iowa. I pray that it is channeled properly and the response is a large red X in your dossier at the DOF.

Old Iron Crotch 02-23-2008 11:42 PM

Re: Hula Hoops
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Old Man Hatchet (Post 150085)
You have just received infraction points. Next time you WILL be put on moderation or banned!


Stop beating your daughter and sexually assaulting your granddaughter and I'll stop calling you a sadistic pervert.

Miss Maisie 02-23-2008 11:42 PM

Re: Hula Hoops
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Dances with Joy (Post 150081)
It's not nearly enough.

I think Dances with goats needs her sissyman to discipline her. It's clear she don't know her place. :angry:

Regarding hula hoops, from what I have seen, they are awful things, that ought to be destroyed. I done seen one of our housekeeper's brats playing with one once, and I told my Daddy. I ain't sure what happened after that, except that the brat didn't seem to want to sit down for a long time. Thank God, I never saw the hula hoop again, though.

narrowpathy 02-23-2008 11:42 PM

Re: Hula Hoops
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Marshall (Post 150089)
This sickening and perverse post has been forwarded to the Pastors main office at Landover Baptist proper in Gods own Freehold Iowa. I pray that it is channeled properly and the response is a large red X in your dossier at the DOF.

Sir, you are right to be vigilant in these times. But I don't comprehend the meaning of your post. Do you find Christian marriage sickening and perverse? Do you want us all to be eunuchs in Christ? :fear2:

Old Iron Crotch 02-23-2008 11:44 PM

Re: Hula Hoops
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss Maisie (Post 150099)
I think Dances with goats needs her sissyman to discipline her. It's clear she don't know her place. :angry:

My place is anywhere I choose to be.

Regarding hula hoops, from what I have seen, they are awful things, that ought to be destroyed. I done seen one of our housekeeper's brats playing with one once, and I told my Daddy. I ain't sure what happened after that, except that the brat didn't seem to want to sit down fo a long time. Thank God, I never saw the hula hoop again, though.

Your father hit your housekeeper's child? I hope your housekeeper pressed charges.

Old Man Hatchet 02-23-2008 11:47 PM

Re: Hula Hoops
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Dances with Joy (Post 150098)
Stop beating your daughter and sexually assaulting your granddaughter and I'll stop calling you a sadistic pervert.

I have NEVER sexually assaulted my granddaughter. You dare to slander me?!

Old Iron Crotch 02-23-2008 11:49 PM

Re: Hula Hoops
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Old Man Hatchet (Post 150104)
I have NEVER sexually assaulted my granddaughter. You dare to slander me?!


You are absolutely right. I apologize and will tithe extra to Landover this week.

Miss Maisie 02-23-2008 11:50 PM

Re: Hula Hoops
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Dances with Joy (Post 150101)
Your father hit your housekeeper's child? I hope your housekeeper pressed charges.

They are in our house to serve us. If my Daddy wanted to discipline her, she ought to be grateful for it.

Their family have been with us a long time, and they know how to be grateful, good, and obedient. Unlike you, Dances with goats.

Old Iron Crotch 02-23-2008 11:54 PM

Re: Hula Hoops
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss Maisie (Post 150106)
They are in our house to serve us. If my Daddy wanted to discipline her, she ought to be grateful for it.

Paying someone to clean your house does not give you the right to hit their children.

Their family have been with us a long time, and they know how to be grateful, good, and obedient. Unlike you, Dances with goats.

I am grateful for the good things in my life, and I am a good person. I obey no one unless I find their request reasonable.

Marshall 02-24-2008 12:04 AM

Re: Hula Hoops
 
Narrowpathy, twisting my words only makes you seem like a Liberal. That is THEIR tactic, not ours.

Now get Right, literally.

Miss Maisie 02-24-2008 12:15 AM

Re: Hula Hoops
 
Quote:

Paying someone to clean your house does not give you the right to hit their children.
You are judging us, silly girl? My housekeeper don't have no problem with my Daddy disciplining her wayward brats. She wants them to grow up proper, not to turn out into a backsassing heathen like yourself.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dances with Joy (Post 150107)
I am grateful for the good things in my life, and I am a good person. I obey no one unless I find their request reasonable.

You ain't a good person in the eyes of the Lord, just another hellbound heathen who don't know her place.


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