Tampons and Maxi Pads
Friends, advertisements for tampons and maxi pads make me sick. They always show women dancing, playing tennis, and doing aerobics. When a woman is suffering from her monthly punishment from God, she should quarantine herself. When I am out in public, I am always concerned that there may be menstruating women nearby. The very idea! A woman should not go out into civilized society with a tainted cooter. Some of these women actually have the nerve to be in supermarkets near food.
If the manufacturers of these products had a shread of decency, they would make commercials that show women locked in closets or chained to beds. Before my wife went through menopause, she wasn't even allowed in the house during her monthly tribulation. She stayed outside with the dogs. Tampons and maxi pads have names that counter the notion of quarantining women during their periods, such as Stayfree. And they come with wings, further advocating the idea that women should "take flight" and not seclude themselves. http://www.worldwidestore.com/HR73ab.jpg While we're on the subject, tampons are for harlots. The only thing that should go into a woman's private area is her good husband's manhood for the purpose of creating more Christians. Ladies, your period is punishment from God. It is not an excuse for self-gratification. http://ts1.mm.bing.net/images/thumbn...4702554e2b75a1 Observe how this deplorable product is called Playtex, insinuating that menstruation time is play time. Gentle glide, indeed. Sickening. |
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OMH, if you were a woman you would no that there is know gratification to be had from tampon insertation. It is, like the whole process or menstruating, quite messy and unappealing. -_-
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WOMEN WILL SILENTLY ACCEPT THAT THEY MUST SUFFER FOR ETERNITY FOR EVE'S INDESCRETIONS AND NOT JOIN IN MANLY DISCUSSIONS! |
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Well, this wasn't in the 'men's forum', Pastor.
And how is a discussion on female bodily functions a male topic? :huh: |
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I am a bit shocked that anyone would start such a disturbing thread on our main forum. But since our own Brother Hatchet created the thread, I must assume the Lord directed him to do so.
Anyway, Satan's Cotton Fingers are forbidden at LBC because they simulate sexual intercourse (forgive me Jesus) and mastur&ation at the same time. There are however some innocent uses for Tampons: http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showp...20&postcount=8 And Sister Thumper has a delightful Christmas craft that can be made with Maxi Pads: http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showp...22&postcount=9 But I must warn all ladies of Landover that we are on the lookout for gals who insult God and indulge in Satan's Cotton Fingers. And you are easy to spot . . . just look at the smirk . . . we all know what she's hiding! |
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I am saddened to read that you, Mrs. HellBound, are a user of sickular sanitary products. I suggest ripping up an old sheet and stuffing it down your knickers when next you are Cursed© ... be sure to tightly pin both front and back though, or you'll be as bandy as a sailor - or Lilith after a sailor, come to think of it. |
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Oh dear...your little problem again dear Pastor Al? Try syrup of Figs.:innocent: |
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Here is a picture I managed to get from a helicopter of one of the beasts standing next to a grove of mature Eucalyptus trees. http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y17...9/repfrill.jpg |
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Regarding point #2: ANY and ALL topics are to be handled by MEN. :nono: Thus sayeth the Lord! Now go make me a sandwich, harlot!:furious: |
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I will simply not wallow around in such a Disgusting topic and am here only to show my support of Brother Hatchet (whose new pipe has given me some very odd dreams recently, indeed).
( I say Disgusting only in the sense that some "women" apparently dare to be taking enjoyment from God's Curse. Well! Verily! Who do you think will lift us up to the Rapture, JESUS or "Aunt Flo" from "Red River"?) SUV |
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*snickers* you're scared of lizards hahahahaha :rofl: |
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Now, would you care to divulge a little more information about these "pipe" dreams? |
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You see, it's like I'm on a pipeline to Jesus while "riding the pipeline" on the surf to get to him while thinking about all the oil that used to go through the Alaska Pipeline, except it's down for repairs at the moment, isn't it, or soon will be..... No. I can't carry on this charade. The Christ will know that I'm fibbing. It's really all about....about....whether you're using cherry tobacco or the mentholated type?! Either way, Please - don't stop! Oh GOD, PLEASE DON'T STOP!!! :winkiss: SUV |
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Look what Tater made out of confiscaded "Satan's little coton fingers". A tampon blow gun!
http://img135.imageshack.us/img135/3754/gunva4.jpg Aw, bless his precious heart. He is soooo creative! Proud, Sister Thumper |
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And what, exactly, would he hope to achieve with that? :huh:
I doubt it would serve him well on hunting trips. |
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