Who wants to try my chili?
 

Hello ladies,

Thought I might share this delicious recipe of chilli I extorted borrowed from that suspicious beaner family three trailers down from the Moans homestead. (Let's just say I gently threatened to call ICE if they didn't fork it over).

Anyway, onto the steps:

You need

-1 large can of black beans
-a can of refried beans
-molasses
-10 hot chillies (ghost peppers)
-corn bits
-paprika
-queso fresco
-pulled pork bits
-crushed bugle shaped snacks

1. Just plop everything into one large pot, get it all in there. Dump the molasses last on top of it all.
2. Boil til it bubbles on high heat
3. Drop it down to low-med heat to simmer for a bit.
5. Voila and serve! :licklips:

https://i.postimg.cc/VLngJRJw/Screen...8-09-32-PM.png

Re: Who wants to try my chili?
 

Sounds like something my husband and my boys would like. I'll give it a try this weekend! :thumbsup:

Re: Who wants to try my chili?
 

Mmm, sounds good! Have you tried substituting ghost peppers with Carolina Reaper peppers? That's my personal favorite! :thumbsup:

Re: Who wants to try my chili?
 

I'm not a fan of chili, but John loves it. I think I'll save this recipe and make it next time I comes over. Thank you, Sister!

Re: Who wants to try my chili?
 

I wonder if some could be served to the Promise Enforcers as an appetizer. :)

Re: Who wants to try my chili?
 

There is a recipe for chilli tequila which I'm happy to share.

A picture is all that's necessary, really.

Attachment 27692

I've heard that home-made tequila can be prepared from quite a few
cactus varieties and have found these particularly refreshing, served
with fruit juice either warm or chilled, the ideal accompaniment for a
sewing circle.

Re: Who wants to try my chili?
 

1, No beans in chili, refried or otherwise. Ask any Texan.


B. One should avoid spicy food as it inflames the passions, leading to masturbation, premarital sex, infidelity, and homosexuality. That salsa with your tortilla chip may just be booking you a reservation in hell.

Re: Who wants to try my chili?
 

I mostly agree Brother, however, I hear the extra hot peppers like the kind recommended by Dolli and Sister Basilissa, help clear the rectums and get any lingering demons out faster. :thumbsup:

Re: Who wants to try my chili?
 

Enrique agrees with you 100% on this one. He says beans don't agree with the stomach above 10,000 ft. :thumbsup:
You are correct as always, Brother Des. :wub: Nonetheless, defining what is spicy and what isn't is rather subjective.

Re: Who wants to try my chili?
 

Yes, and I have noticed that Americans have a surprisingly low threshold in this matter.

Miss Esther, do that only if you do not wish to marry this guy. Ten ghost peppers will send him to the ER, or possibly the cemetery. Really, Americans are like little babies when it comes to hot peppers! :giggle:

Well, if your husband does survive it, he may not be willing to try anything else you cook, ever. Which could be a good thin, I suppose?

Re: Who wants to try my chili?
 

So, my husband and boys loved and have not quit praising God for it yet! At least, that's what I think is happening. They have each locked themselves in a bathroom each and keep crying out, "Oh God!"

Re: Who wants to try my chili?
 

I'm pleased to hear Dana, but you should really check and make sure they aren't really fooling around in there. They're all in there at once? :fear2:

Re: Who wants to try my chili?
 

No, we have two full baths upstairs, and one full bath and two half baths downstairs. They are each in separate bathrooms. I haven't really heard anything for a while, so I will venture to check in on them.

Re: Who wants to try my chili?
 

I showed the recipe to John and he asked me to make it for him this weekend. I hope he likes it!

Re: Who wants to try my chili?
 

Well, dear, I do hope you substitute the 10 ghost peppers with 10 Carolina Reaper peppers, like I suggested. I mean, why treat him with peppers of meager 1 million Scoville rating when you can give him the rare treat of 1,5 million? :thumbsup: (For comparison, a jalapeño pepper can have maximum 10,000 Scoville rating).

Please do report how it goes. From my personal experience (and I suspect Dana may agree), these sort of peppers hurt on the way out as much as on the way in. :giggle: Just in case, have a few gallons of milk ready. And maybe an ambulance on call? :hmmm:

Re: Who wants to try my chili?
 

My understanding is that an authentic Texas chili requires a few Texas rat whiskers, but I've never been able to find them in the spice section of the grocery here in the North. Another ingredient that is often used is a "splash" of Rebel Yell whiskey (maybe a ½ cup) that ads a bit of "smoke" and anti-Yankee attitude to the dish.

I agree - no beans, and don't dare sneak in any cloves.

Re: Who wants to try my chili?
 

Have you tried saffron?

Re: Who wants to try my chili?
 

After going abroad and putting up with spicy foods and weird cheeses (camembert, comte, blue stilton, aged cheddar, gorgonzola, serra da estrella... I could go on), not to mention crusty rolls, fresh baguette, olive bread, walnut bread, baked fresh and less than a dollar, I can tell you for a fact that America is still No. 1. Give me bread that does not ever grow mold and cheese that comes in individual plastic wrap, as God intended.
https://images.mentalfloss.com/sites...resize=500x500

Re: Who wants to try my chili?
 

I made it for John last night with ghost peppers (I don't know if he likes anything hotter), and he loved it! Thank you, Dolli!

Re: Who wants to try my chili?
 

The obvious conclusion here is that "John" is actually Juan, and is an illegal beaner in disguise trying to marry you for a green card.

Re: Who wants to try my chili?
 

I completely understand your concern, Mr. Lukes, but after a very intensive (and ongoing) background/ancestry check, I can assure you that John is a full-blooded, white American man. I wish I could call him a True Christian™, but that's not for me to decide. There will be NO violations of Deuteronomy 7:3 or Daniel 2:43 in my family!

Re: Who wants to try my chili?
 

Esther, dear, if he actually enjoyed ghost peppers in his chili, he wouldn't have noticed any difference with the Carolina reapers. Lemme guess: he munches on habanero peppers (a meager 500,000 on Scoville scale) as if they were apples? :giggle:

That is a very good point, Brother Dennis. No normal human of pure white Anglo-Saxon descent would be able to survive eating ten ghost peppers at once. :fear2:

Re: Who wants to try my chili?
 

:furious:Job 41:21:furious:


I doubt even a Mexican or an Injun (the cow-worshipping kind) could survive eating ten ghost peppers at once, and they eat spicy filth all the time. No, the only way you can survive that is through the power of God (Matthew 19:26). As there is very little chance that Juan is a True Christian, this throws Esther's entire story into question.


Hot peppers are a taste of what awaits in Hell!

Re: Who wants to try my chili?
 

I am very worried about this thread and its implications. One of the replies by our immaculate Sisters alerted be. The message I am referring to is as follows:Indeed, it has come to the attention of our Creation Science Team that the capsaicin, the effective drug of the peppers, gives you sensory stimuli during defecation and not only during the consumption of these plant-based products.

I am very sorry to have to point this out in very direct language, but we're talking about anal stimulation. Any anal stimulation felt by susceptible individuals (excluding True Christians™) is an inevitable one-way descent into sodomy, either intergender of male-only. It causes a burning sensation in the (I am sorry to repeat this) anal region.

https://i.enkiverywell.com/8u8_Jb1AR...40823d85c0.png

The sodomistic majority of the population strives for these sensations, and when a suitable tallywhacker is unavailable, they'll succumb to spicy foods to get the Scoville Scale Sphincter that is for them the ultimate pleasure. Furthermore, the passage of this fiery fiend across the rectal ring of resistance is the moment that causes one's alienation from Jesus!

Mark 7:20
And he said, That which cometh out of the man, that defileth the man.

The defecation of these peppers defiles a man. Finally, some verses originally used to educate sinners into elevated rhetoric can now be applied to this issue:

James 3:6
And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.

To conclude: Fire on the tongue is the fire of Hell, especially for the unsaved sodomistic swarm. For them, chili is a potential pathway into blasphemy. I, for one, shall restrain myself from trying your chili. Ever.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer :bye:

Re: Who wants to try my chili?
 

Dolli, I just thought I'd let you know that even after a day of sitting in the refrigerator, the chili apparently tastes just as good as it did on the day that I made it (according to JOHN).






John actually doesn't like the flavor of habaneros, so no, he doesn't eat them like apples.

Re: Who wants to try my chili?
 

:facepalm: He doesn't like the flavor of habaneros. Flavor. FLAVOR?!? :shok: If it's the "flavor" he feels so strongly against, then yup, Brother Dennis' hypothesis is confirmed. Beware, Esther dear, of this Don Juan of yours. :giggle: I mean, I can attest that there's nothing wrong with dating someone with Mexican descent, as long as he has lots of money, you know, for tithing. :innocent: But he shouldn't be hiding his origin from you by disguising his real name.

Re: Who wants to try my chili?
 

If he was anything less than a Godly whie man, he wouldn't be courting my daughter. I REFUSE to have a son-in-law with even the tiniest drop of Mexican blood in his veins.

Re: Who wants to try my chili?
 

Forgive me for my lack of understanding, dear Sister, but how is his dislike of something a bad thing? In my weak, womanly mind, I would have taken it as a bad thing if he enjoyed eating habaneros frequently. Every person that I've met with Mexican blood has enjoyed eating hot peppers as a snack. I mean no disrespect, but I would like to see where you are coming from.

Re: Who wants to try my chili?
 

For a normal human being, what makes us not enjoy habanero peppers is the immense heat. If Don Juan can actually detect a flavor of the habanero pepper amidst the burning, that means he's not a normal human being.

You see, dear, there are hot peppers and there are really hot peppers. In your stroll through the grocery store, you may notice a variety of shapes and colors. Among the most common ones, jalapeño peppers are some of the mildest (I eat them whole and barely feel a kick, as going on missions to ungodly South America has killed most of my taste buds). Serrano peppers would be the next level of heat, they are good in a variety of recipes, but I would not recommend eating them whole. Caution when handling them is recommended.

Habanero peppers are among the hottest that you'd find in a regular (non-Mexican) supermarket/grocery store. Using gloves when handling them (cutting, removing seeds) is not just recommended but practically required, as they will burn your hands and whatever body part you touch with your hands (burning in the eyes is especially painful). Also, try not to breathe too close to an open habanero, because that stuff is painful in your respiratory system as well. And it will get to your eyes through air, too.

Anything hotter than habanero is plain torture. Ghost peppers mentioned by Dolli are used by the Indian military instead of tear gas (in the East Indies, not on the reservations; also please note that this article was written when ghost pepper still held the Guinness Record for the world's hottest pepper). Now, you may not have noticed the sarcasm in the original post by Dolli and my subsequent reply, so let me spell out it for you: yes there was sarcasm. Ghost pepper may no longer hold the Guinness Record as the world's hottest pepper, but it still is excruciatingly hot.

Re: Who wants to try my chili?
 

Oh yes, I certainly wasn't casting any aspersions on your man Enrique. I'm sure he's a Godly man of pure-blooded Spaniard heritage without any Injun taint, not some mestizo drug trafficker.


Here's what God has to say: Psalms 101:7, Proverbs 12:22, Proverbs 19:9.


If that's the case, someone should call ICE and the DEA immediately. Our national security is at risk. This is why we need that wall ASAP people!!!

Re: Who wants to try my chili?
 

Of course he is! Just - um - please do NOT send him any of these "find your ancestry" DNA kits, OK? They are an abomination in the eyes of the Lord, that's why. :innocent:

Indeed, Brother!

That is a good point, Brother. Now, there are ways of preparing really hot peppers to make them slightly less fiery - diligently removing the internal veins, soaking in milk, boiling with salt and/or sugar, etc, but there's only so much that can be done with the torture-hot peppers.

Re: Who wants to try my chili?
 

I suspect that the best way to prepare them is to put them directly into the pigfeed bin - and then wash your hands! Or better still, cut out the middle man by not buying them in the first place?

Re: Who wants to try my chili?
 

Well, there are some irresistibly delicious fiery recipes. What can I say, some food is so good that it melts in your mouth, and some food is so good that it melts your mouth. :giggle: And this is what Enrique likes, so what can I say. I obey the Lord by obeying my beloved.

Case in point, rocoto relleno calls for a pepper which may look like a harmless bell pepper but actually packs habanero-level heat.

Now, when preparing this recipe in Godly United States of America rather than in ungodly South America, I have no choice but to substitute the fiery rocoto pepper with the very bland poblano pepper. Which means I have to stuff it with some finely chopped serrano peppers (capsaicin-high veins included) in addition to the regular ground meat and vegetable stuffing. Making the same dish with bell peppers gives a tasteless, bland thing which is barely edible. :thumbdown:

Re: Who wants to try my chili?
 

Enrique (by the way, did you ask if we could call him Henry, or Hal, or maybe Hank?) is a very lucky man, Sister. Although we all obey our husbands in matters of culinary preference, I salute you as a brave woman in this case and hope that he appreciates you. (He is extraordinarily handsome, by the way - I really loved the engagement photos. So unconventional!)

Re: Who wants to try my chili?
 

It was our Mayor Hold who discovered that the name Enrique actually comes from Erik, making Enrique a clear descendant of the Vikings who originally discovered America. Very tan Vikings with thick black hair and gorgeous dark brown eyes.

He certainly does - all of his ex girlfriends come in varying shades of brown, so he knows I'm a huge upgrade. :thumbsup:

Umm, I was not aware that these pictures were already circulating - I meant to photoshop out some of his family members - especially his mother, grandmother, and sisters, who insist on wearing these funny clothes and stupid hats!

Re: Who wants to try my chili?
 

Whoops! The person who circulated them presumably didn't realize. I won't embarrass her husband by naming her. We did wonder about some of the women, and concluded that they were probably from a passing traveling carnival.

Re: Who wants to try my chili?
 

Well, at least for this occasion they wore new clothes, their every day clothes look even weirder. The grandmother refuses to speak in Spanish and insists she only knows the local Aymara language. It must be some weird Viking custom, I suppose.