New technology: How to stop your child from masturbating!
 

Brothers and Sisters, as all True Christian™ parents here likely realize, when your children grow up, they will eventually discover the temptations of the flesh, and, if you spot this too late, even start touching themselves to explore the possibilities.:bad:

Of course, this kind of behaviour is very repulsive and offensive to the Lord Jesus Christ, who, being omnipresent, has to watch every sigh and every groan, and being omniscient, is at the same time completely aware of whatever filth is on the mind of the person committing this sin. It is for good reason that Paul wrote:

1 Corinthians 6:15-20:
Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid. What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.
But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit.
Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.
What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?
For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.

So, all kinds of measures have been taken by True Christian™ parents against this evil, with mixed results. Look here for example for various traditional suggestions to keep your son from sinning. So far, beating seems to work in most cases, while in extreme cases amputation of the sinful bodily parts is suggested by the Lord Jesus Himself:

Matthew 5:29-30:
And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

However, an end has come to these troubling, embarrassing issues, thanks to a new technological innovation: The Houdini Locking Steel C*ck Chastity!

http://www.bdsmtoybox.com/ProductImages/3789m.jpg

Using this ingenious device, True Christian™ parents can now make sure that their sons will not be tempted into despicable sin by desecrating the Temple of Jesus Christ, their own bodies (just return the keys to them after they are married). Praise Jesus!:thumbsup:

Re: New technology: How to stop your child from masturbating!
 

$225.95? Jeez, it's just a piece of metal with a lock. I bet it was made by joos. :joo:

Still, a great piece of equipment. I'm sure it's very effective.

Re: New technology: How to stop your child from masturbating!
 

Well being thrifty like I am, it looks like the hand part of a handcuff (can get that from a police supply store) and some piping would let a man make it himself. I have a few concerns though.

- Cleanliness, should it be removed during showers? Then again I've heard this is where boys start touching. Also how often would it need to be cleaned.

- At what age would you suggest introducing this, because I don't think it would work on a young umm.... ahem....undeveloped boy.

Re: New technology: How to stop your child from masturbating!
 

Speaking for young boys everywhere. I would not recommend this product for boys under the age of ever.

Think of the Mayan head sloping techniques, foot bounding or female circumcision techniques being practiced in savage countries!

Imagine what could happen with the male member! I remember I used to walk around with a constant erection at the age of 12 or so. If you put that monstrous device on a young man's penis.
Take your index finger and point it forward. Then, take it at a 45 degree angle pointing downward.

That poor child will never produce enough, as you fundies call it, Soldiers for Christ.

If you are going to shape IT, you should point it a few degrees upward toward at the tip, or so I hear.

I suppose if you're going to mutilate a child's penis through circumcision, you might as well shape the damn thing to produce the maximum amount of pleasure.

Re: New technology: How to stop your child from masturbating!
 

What's to stop them from sidling up next to a jacuzzi jet or, I hate to say it... tickle their prostate?

My eldest son is nearly old enough to be getting erections, and this is on my mind constantly. I think about it all the time lately.

I was just thinking I'd cuff his hands to the side of the bed at night.

And Samuel Coleridge... Why do you hate Jesus so much? I find your lack of faith disturbing.

Re: New technology: How to stop your child from masturbating!
 

If you have strong feelings on the issue, why not simply talk to him about the issue and ensure his morals are strong enough to overcome the temptation? Thinking about sinning (to the level where you really have considered doing it) is just as bad as the actual act, so resorting to physical means to stop him does not solve the problem. It just reduces what you can see of it.

Re: New technology: How to stop your child from masturbating!
 

What's all this "talk" nonsense? Sounds like a slippery slope to me! Talking about filthy sexual matters will only normalize said matters, and we can't have that.

Re: New technology: How to stop your child from masturbating!
 

Pal, you seem to be under the delusion that we are interested in your opinion. We are not. :thumbdown:

God actually commands us to stay clear of unsaved trash like you. You're lucky we let you post here at all. Don't push your luck. :glare:

Re: New technology: How to stop your child from masturbating!
 

You may not even necessarily need to to talk directly about the matter. For example, I suspect most children with strong morals won't go and start killing each other even if you don't give them a "killing people is bad" speech. It's in scripture anyway. If you just make sure that the relevant chapters are read, the same should follow.

Complete physical restraint seems to only emphasis the issue. Having the will to overcome the urges much like yourselves is surely preferable to having to wear something whose only purpose is to prevent said urges.

I think the best analogy I can think of is that the only people who are obsessed with food are the morbidly obese and the anorexic. Learning self control should surely build stronger morals than leaving all the urges and desires, but simply stopping the outcome.

Re: New technology: How to stop your child from masturbating!
 

:thumbdown:

Could one of the Godly men please answer my questions.

Re: New technology: How to stop your child from masturbating!
 

If it must be removed for cleaning, I'd suggest doing it while they're sleeping. Have your husband tie your son's hands to his sides, then remove it.

Re: New technology: How to stop your child from masturbating!
 

Noble invention. Nobody should toy with a man's plumbing except his wedded spouse.

Tap-notch invention.

Re: New technology: How to stop your child from masturbating!
 

I disagree; cleaning is woman's work and will turn her husband into sodomite pervert. The only way to stop depravity is for her to take care of clearing the anti-self pollution device herself.

Re: New technology: How to stop your child from masturbating!
 

that contraption would be cruel punishment. you gotta teach your kids some god damn self control.

Re: New technology: How to stop your child from masturbating!
 

You could just let him do it, leaving him to burn in the depths of hell like the sinner he is!

Re: New technology: How to stop your child from masturbating!
 

Why do you hate your own children? You obviously aren't a True Christian™. What about introducing yourself at the Introduction Forum, and surrendering your life to Jesus?:angry:

Re: New technology: How to stop your child from masturbating!
 

oO

This is not what god will ...

I would report my parents to the police if they would put this thing on my ***** & hate them 4- ever really!

Mastrubating is not bad. I'm 16 and do it often and my dad buy me extra Slide cream...

It was a shock to see that !!!

This is no longer god thing you will trying to keep us from things like mastrubating, but you're no longer intrested really in god ...

I'm shocked ! I would really report my parents if they would put this thing on my best part...

Re: New technology: How to stop your child from masturbating!
 

Do you have scripture to back this up? Because from what I understand the Bible definitely speaks against Ming.

Re: New technology: How to stop your child from masturbating!
 

What God wants is all in the Holy Bible, which you clearly never bothered to read!

It is very bad, the Holy Bible is very clear on that: Genesis 38:9-10 "And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother. And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also."

Your parents are irresponsible. They should keep you away from computers and make you read the Holy Bible instead. Please tell them this!

Re: New technology: How to stop your child from masturbating!
 

I'm a teenager what they written in the bible I don't understand! It is to hard to understand what they are written in. They use to hard words that teenager never will know :D

And if you do something good for you and mastrubating and don't hurt you! Why will god don't like this?

In the bible writen don't hurt you and something like this and when I mastrubating I'm not hurt me only do something good for me.