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-   Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forumdisplay.php?f=42)
-   -   Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=2057)

Glendora Christianson 02-08-2007 02:04 AM

Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!
 
Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! I'm sure we'll be helping lots of lost homers in the future. And if there's one thing I'm sure of, our help will work better than any feel-good, false Christian nonsense. So, even though our Lord Jesus Christ will probably burn these homers in Hell, let's do our best to help our "back door" Christians.

TwinkBoy 02-08-2007 02:51 AM

Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!
 
Oh good lord! Yet ANOTHER fanatical Christian attempt to cure something that is NOT in need of ANY CURE!!

Glendora Christianson 02-08-2007 02:59 AM

Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by TwinkBoy (Post 40996)
Oh good lord! Yet ANOTHER fanatical Christian attempt to cure something that is NOT in need of ANY CURE!!

Leviticus 20:13!

Brother V 02-08-2007 03:35 AM

Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by TwinkBoy (Post 40996)
Oh good lord! Yet ANOTHER fanatical Christian attempt to cure something that is NOT in need of ANY CURE!!

You mean like GRIDS (Gay Related Immune Deficiency Syndrome)?

Mrs. Mary Whitford 02-08-2007 03:36 AM

Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!
 
Praise! The door is open, and the abomination who needs help the most comes straight in! (Please pardon the pun.)
TwerpBoy, open yourself to Jesus! Let Him come in!

OnYourKnees 02-08-2007 04:04 AM

Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria (Post 41015)
Praise! The door is open, and the abomination who needs help the most comes straight in! (Please pardon the pun.)
TwerpBoy, open yourself to Jesus! Let Him come in!

Well said, Sister M&Ms! I was just thinking the very same thing!

TwinkBoy, I'm so very glad to see you pop right up at the mention of the word "backdoor"! No doubt you've heard of Ted Haggard's miraculous cure, and want a taste of Jesus' Love for yourself.

Well, this is the place! You'll get your fill here!! :thumbsup:

TwinkBoy 02-08-2007 04:23 AM

Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria (Post 41015)
Praise! The door is open, and the abomination who needs help the most comes straight in! (Please pardon the pun.)
TwerpBoy, open yourself to Jesus! Let Him come in!

Open myself to Jesus? We'll what do you think he has up his..ah..sleeve? And, will I require a chastity belt? LMAO!!:D

Quote:

Originally Posted by OnYourKnees (Post 41018)
Well said, Sister M&Ms! I was just thinking the very same thing!

TwinkBoy, I'm so very glad to see you pop right up at the mention of the word "backdoor"! No doubt you've heard of Ted Haggard's miraculous cure, and want a taste of Jesus' Love for yourself.

Well, this is the place! You'll get your fill here!! :thumbsup:

Backdoor? Hey, love, that ALWAYS gets MY attention, if you know what I mean (snicker, snicker). Oh yes, I've heard of Teddy's "miracle cure" and, frankly love, its a FARCE!! Now, do I or do I not want a TASTE of Jesus' love for myself? Hmmm....well...love...what flavor do you think he is??:sarcasm:

I'm just a WILD and an UNTAMED thing.............

OnYourKnees 02-08-2007 04:38 AM

Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!
 
Well, TB (yes, like the disease), do you have any evidence that Ted Haggard has NOT been cured?

Virginia D. Templeton 02-08-2007 04:47 AM

Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Glendora Christianson (Post 41002)
Leviticus 20:13!

Amen, Sister. God wrote it for a reason. Homosexuality is not part of His plan—that's why He made anal sex so exquisitely painful.

Poetic Peter 02-09-2007 05:20 PM

Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!
 
I hear Ted got his homocure from a "divinity mill", via "coupon redemption".


Nonetheless, it all seems to be on the level, despite the pseudonymous namings.



http://img518.imageshack.us/img518/8...shot330hw2.jpg

Pastor Ezekiel 02-26-2007 08:04 AM

Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!
 
For those of you sodomites who are listening to Jesus and doing your best to fight those satanic urges, THIS Ebay auction might be of interest. Better hurry!


Eggadmin 03-03-2008 10:59 PM

Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!
 
hi evebody here. i from egypt. all peoples at forums call me nigger but i not nigger. i arab. hope all here me respact

ForGodsSake 03-04-2008 03:45 AM

Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!
 
Heathen

Pastor Ezekiel 03-04-2008 03:51 AM

Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Eggadmin (Post 154476)
hi evebody here. i from egypt. all peoples at forums call me nigger but i not nigger. i arab. hope all here me respact

Are you a sodomite? Is that why you posted here? Is your camel-wife a male? :glare:

Please go to the "introductions" section and make your own thread. Tell us about yourself and why you are here.

Try using the caps key to post in proper American. And please spare us the details of your sodomite camel relationships, okay? Jesus doesn't want to hear about that. :camel:

Eggadmin 03-04-2008 12:12 PM

Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by "ForGodsSake"
Heathen

i not heathen. i good muslim.

ForGodsSake 03-04-2008 01:15 PM

Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Eggadmin (Post 154646)
i not heathen. i good muslim.

Child killer. Did not the blessed Pastor Ezekiel tell you to introduce yourself. Your only making it worse for your self.

Tallywacker Hater 07-06-2008 01:34 AM

Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!
 
Just out of curiouscity, since I'm a transsexual and not a homosexual, how do you "cure" me? What treatment would I get that would be different from what homosexuals get?

Mrs. Mary Whitford 07-06-2008 04:19 AM

Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Tara Mo (Post 207343)
Just out of curiouscity, since I'm a transsexual and not a homosexual, how do you "cure" me? What treatment would I get that would be different from what homosexuals get?

Is there a difference between a wetback and a beaner? No! One sodomite is no different than the others, some just are so much more messed up and effeminate they cut their tallywhackers off!

Tallywacker Hater 07-06-2008 07:36 AM

Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria (Post 207356)
Is there a difference between a wetback and a beaner? No! One sodomite is no different than the others, some just are so much more messed up and effeminate they cut their tallywhackers off!

Actually, you can consider yourself corrected. Okay, yeah, you can say it was in Jesus name if you want. Whatever. Anyway, a beaner is an ethnic slur refering to lots of beans in hispanic foods while wetback refers to illegal aliens who enter the country by swimming across the Rio Grande.

But, let's go on to the next question, shall we? I'm transsexual. That alone does not make me a "homer." What if I get SRS and start dating lesbians. Would either one of us be sinners? Better yet, what if I dated a F2M transsexual? Would either of us sin, then?

Pastor Ezekiel 07-06-2008 07:59 AM

Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Tara Mo (Post 207377)
Actually, you can consider yourself corrected. Okay, yeah, you can say it was in Jesus name if you want. Whatever. Anyway, a beaner is an ethnic slur refering to lots of beans in hispanic foods while wetback refers to illegal aliens who enter the country by swimming across the Rio Grande.

But, let's go on to the next question, shall we? I'm transsexual. That alone does not make me a "homer." What if I get SRS and start dating lesbians. Would either one of us be sinners? Better yet, what if I dated a F2M transsexual? Would either of us sin, then?

Those questions have been answered. Jesus considers you a filthy vile pervert, end of story. :angry:

Quote:

Romans 1:26 For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:
1:27 And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.
1:28 And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient;


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