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-   -   How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=67449)

Pastor Ezekiel 08-03-2012 03:41 AM

Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by TinaSantafe (Post 913121)
Well, I haven't made the videos yet. Right now, I do webcam stripping; there, I have to perform alone because of the rules of the company I strip for, but other than that, I'll kinda do almost whatever the customer wants. However, I'm seeing about getting my foot in the door with porn at which point I'll be making more 'hard core' videos. I just want to make sure that as carnal as my videos get, I'll still be able to repent later and accept Jesus.

Like I said, I'll need to see your wares before I can be certain that your last minute repentance would take with Jesus. Hit that email link at the bottom of my signature and let's talk. :shades2:

Deaner 08-31-2012 02:01 AM

Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Gloria (Post 811683)
My son said he just found Jesus, and that he was behind the sofa the whole time! Ha ha ha, kids say the darndest things. But now you have to excuse me, I have to go whoop his little blasphemous butt!!!:jesus:

Most likely found a chunk of hash that he ate.

PS. Just had a look at your profile Gloria. Fuck, you're ugly.

Jewishdevil666 12-19-2012 01:07 AM

Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost!
 
Well thanks all here. I will admit that originally I came hear to troll but I realized how unchristian this is and I resolved to stop. Thanks and God bless.

Helizabeth 01-14-2013 05:34 PM

Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost!
 
Is it possible for a person like me, who is setting apart from catholicism, to be saved?

What can be done?

God bless you for your work

Pastor Ezekiel 01-15-2013 03:57 AM

Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Helizabeth (Post 968562)
Is it possible for a person like me, who is setting apart from catholicism, to be saved?

What can be done?

God bless you for your work

Thru Christ, all things are possible. Even a bead-counting papist like you could be washed clean in Christ's blood.

Do you have any credit cards? American dollars? Gold fillings?

Helizabeth 01-15-2013 05:36 AM

Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel (Post 968852)
Do you have any credit cards? American dollars? Gold fillings?

Is it important for Christ?

Pastor Ezekiel 01-15-2013 05:42 AM

Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Helizabeth (Post 968870)
Is it important for Christ?

Oh yes, quite important. The Bible says you can't jip Jesus.

Quote:

Mal 3:8 Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings.

Helizabeth 01-15-2013 06:00 AM

Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel (Post 968872)
Oh yes, quite important. The Bible says you can't jip Jesus.

I'm not allowed by my father to have any credit cards. =(

Levi Jones 01-15-2013 06:19 AM

Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Helizabeth (Post 968873)
I'm not allowed by my father to have any credit cards. =(

It's okay. We wouldn't take one from you even if you offered. You have to show yourself to be truly Saved before we would consider you for Church membership. Once you had joined, we would get access to your bank account and a power of attorney to take 10% of your gross income.

Helizabeth 01-15-2013 06:32 PM

Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Levi Jones (Post 968878)
(...) You have to show yourself to be truly Saved before we would consider you for Church membership.(...)

And what do I do to get saved?

Bob4God 01-15-2013 06:37 PM

Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Helizabeth (Post 968995)
And what do I do to get saved?

Start by reading the first page of this thread.

johnsmith111 01-21-2013 06:05 PM

Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost!
 
so you guys only worship Jesus?

Mary, the saints, the pope guy are nobodies

Zechariah Smyth 01-21-2013 06:12 PM

Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by johnsmith111 (Post 970529)
so you guys only worship Jesus?

YES!!!

:praise:

Quote:

Originally Posted by johnsmith111 (Post 970529)
Mary, the saints, the pope guy are nobodies

Quite the contrary: Mary was an acceptable birth vessel for Our Lord Jesus Christ, and the Pope is a child-molesting charlatan.

:innocent:

YiC,

Zech

johnsmith111 01-22-2013 04:00 PM

Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost!
 
Is this a cruel joke on mankind...............Jesus is real, but he is literally real because I can go out in the street tell Jesus to send me a sign and he sends me a car magnet with Jesus on it.

So Jesus proved to me that he is real.

Is it that the antichrist mind control is so great that people are not able to realize this truth ?

I mean I was under strong mind control going to public school and catholic high school and watching TV........

So when a person is under sin they are under mind control, once one avoids sin then they enter a new realm, Gods side. So sort of spiritual realm.

Cranky Old Man 01-23-2013 12:57 AM

Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost!
 
You need to stop swallowing LSD like it is popcorn and start making some sense. Christianity is based on faith! You need to realize Jesus Christ is your Lord and Savior even without explicit proof!

johnsmith111 01-23-2013 03:05 AM

Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost!
 
Jesus he'll never let you down hes calling you to follow him......his sheep they know his voice, they enter in through the narrow gate.

Brysonislife 05-08-2013 12:37 AM

Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost!
 
I just found this site and I am begging on my knees like the dirty sinning bastard that I am for someone to save me.

I am a homosexual, atheist, and I shop at Wal-Mart...How do I repent all my sins so I don't burn in hell like all the Jews and Muslims?

I realized I need to change my sinful life style when I voted for Obama.

Please, I need god now more than ever...please help me.

James Hutchins 05-08-2013 12:42 AM

Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Brysonislife (Post 1001102)
I just found this site and I am begging on my knees like the dirty sinning bastard that I am for someone to save me.

I am a homosexual, atheist, and I shop at Wal-Mart...How do I repent all my sins so I don't burn in hell like all the Jews and Muslims?

I realized I need to change my sinful life style when I voted for Obama.

Please, I need god now more than ever...please help me.

Sounds to me like you need to hook up with you Goshen frineds.:angry:

Mary Etheldreda 05-08-2013 12:44 AM

Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost!
 
What's wrong with Wal-Mart? It's convenient, affordable, and the owners don't kowtow to the liberal, lazy employees who would rather whine to the media about poverty levels than actually work hard.

Anyway, to answer your question dear, simply read the first post in this thread, then find yourself a nice King James Bible (available inexpensively at your local Wal-Mart), and read it with an open mind and open heart. Listen to the sound of Jesus knocking at your heart's door. Then let Him in!

keepster33 05-08-2013 03:02 AM

Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel (Post 968872)
Oh yes, quite important. The Bible says you can't jip Jesus.

I always thought of that term spelled "gyp" in the sense that gypsies are the ones who would steal from you.


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