Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins
 

Most of you know that I am a man who likes to work with his hands. I am a lumberjack, a handy man, a beer drinker, and a Rod wielding family man. The only time my hands are empty is when they are together praying.

Well recently my hands have taken up a new implement: the acoustic guitar. God has placed a glorious song on my heart and I feel it is my Christian duty to share it with the world.




Lyrics:

Come on Down to Freehold, by Billy Bob Jenkins © 2011

Freehold's a town where you can't come around
If you don't believe the Bible is perfectly sound
We stone 'em in the morning and we stone 'em in the night
'Cause we rely on the Bible to teach us wrong from right

Chorus:
So come on down to Freehold
Cast off your secular bonds
repent of your anal sex
and lay down your magical wands

Forget the environment forget the trees
Jesus will return you'd better be down on your knees
But not until we instigate World War III
Imperialize the world. It's good for the economy

Repeat Chorus

Unsaved trash like to take it in the ass
God will smite their genitals with a painful rash
God sends the AIDS when the homers all get laid
The poor keep on sinning while the righteous all get paid

Repeat Chorus twice

Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins
 

What a lovely song.

I am confident that the beauty of GOD's Word, verbalised by such a talented melodist and lyricist extraordinaire, would touch the soul of even the most stubborn athiests.

Thank you BB, will you be performing live for the congregation? :)

Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins
 

Thank you WinnerNotSinner. The Lord has indeed gifted me with a talent for country music. I know it is His Hand guiding my fingers across the strings because I have never even practiced! :innocent:

At present, the Lord Jesus is teaching me an even more Christ-oriented piece called "Jesus Weren't No Joo", which I hope to perform as the congregants are arriving this Sunday.

I will be posting more Godly music in this thread from time to time. So stay tuned! :thumbsup:

Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins
 

Now that is music. Not any gaysexual Bible tearing heavy metal but God loving real music. I would give this song LBC seal of approval™

YiC, M

Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins
 

Attending sock hops back in my youth, we teenagers were often called upon to pass judgement on new releases. The highest compliment we could offer was, "It has a good beat and I could dance to it."

Well, Brother Billy Bob, you have a real toe-tapper there and I could easily dance to it.

I'm going to talk to the Mayor this morning and see if can't pipe your tune into the elevators here in the courthouse.

Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins
 

Jesus Weren't No Jew by Billy Bob Jenkins © 2011



Down there in Des Moines folks is fiddlin' with their loins
this is what some homer said to me
he said if you're such a Christian won't ya give this here a listen
he said Jesus was a Jew by heredity

Chorus:
I said Jesus weren't no Jew
He was a True Christian™ through and through
He was a Real Republican™ and an American™ too.
Jesus weren't no Jew

If you've never read the Bible then chances are you're liable
to think that Jesus may have been a Jew
but the literal interpretation of the King James translation
is written down in English not Hebrew

repeat Chorus

Some Godless Catholic who diddles little pricks said Christ had feet of bronze the Pope said so
I said the Book of Revelation calls America™ His nation
and says His head and hairs are white as snow

repeat Chorus twice

Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins
 

Wonderful songs brother.

My 6 year old daughter Abishag loves them. If only you could her little voice loudly singing 'Jesus weren't no Jew'. I have tears in my eyes, so proud.

Glory!

Jack

Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins
 

Glorious music Brother Jenkins. It's refreshing to hear songs free of hate and anal sex obsession. I am sure Jesus smiles upon the Divine Revelation of the songs.

Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins
 

I feel the Lord moving me to make another hit. I feel it in my toes. It will reach my fingers sometimes this afternoon.

He tells me it will be called "Ballad of a Bastard Son".

Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins
 

Brother Billy;

I am not trying to intrude on a true artist's inspiration; but do you think you could whip something up about God's instruction's to smash babies head's on rocks?

Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins
 

God willing. :innocent:

Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins
 

That would be wonderful. Boney M started the Psalm but never finished it. Brother Billy could do it properly. Can you imagine having a True Christian song at the top of the Hit Parade?

YiC

Jack

Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins
 

Here is a song about a filthy sinner who God kills and sends to Hell forthwith. Victory is the Lord's!

Ballad of a Bastard Son by Billy Bob Jenkins © 2011



Lyrics:

There once was a man with four fingers on his hand
the Lord had made a freak
his mortal cage was filled with rage
vengeance he would seek

his mother was a whore and his father was poor
he was a bastard son
of Jesus Christ he said nothing nice
of sodomy he said "it's fun"

so he went to California where the people are horny
and he began to sodomize
he raped little sluts in their faces and their butts
and sometimes he raped them twice

he spit on the flag and he marched with the fags
he voted democrat
he worshiped the pope and he smoked lots of dope
when they stood for the pledge, he sat

He mocked George Bush and had sex in the tush
he worshiped chimpanzees
he read God is Not Great, and it made him masturbate
so God smited him with disease

There was blood in his cough, and his genitals fell off
his flesh had a gangrenous smell
he died in great pain, cursing God's name
yes he died, and he went straight to Hell

:lol:

Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins
 

I love a song with a happy ending. :D

Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins
 

This one's for you, Deaner

Dash the Little Ones (Against the Stones) by the Godly mega-star Billy Bob Jenkins © 2011



Jephthah burned his daughter like a loyal Christian ought to
Josiah slew the priests and burned their bones
God mocks them with His laughter as they burn in the hereafter
So dash the little ones against the stones!

Dash the little ones...
they're too young to understand the death of the Son of Man
So dash the little ones against the stones

burn the non-believers for they are all deceivers
put their cattle to the sword and all they own
slaughter, rape, and pillage every Midianite village
and dash their little ones against the stones!

Dash the little ones...
Oblivious to Jesus, the Lord will do as He pleases
So dash the little ones against the stones

keep the virgins for yourselves but slaughter everyone else
kill them all so they cannot atone
kill the witches and the homers and the pagan idol owners
and dash their little ones against the stones!

Dash the little ones...
abortion is a crime, but killing kids is fine
So dash the little ones against the stones...

[fade out]

Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins
 

A Godly suggestion, Brother Deaner, however, I'm wondering if Brother Billy Bob may want to "ease" into that so as to not offend those with more sensitive feelings.

And here I'm thinking a nice follow-up to the title track might be "It's Okay to Beat Your Wife."

Then I'm thinking a logical next "cut" might be "You Really Need to Pop Your Daughter's Cherry So She Won't Be a Disappointment to Her Future Husband."

Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins
 

A suggestion:

She-bear

A wholesome parable. A metaphor for what?

Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins
 

Too late, Brother! :fear2:

Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins
 

Oh, darn, Brother Billy Bob, I guess I missed those toe-tappers dealing with wife-beating and cherry-popping. Sorry.

Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins
 

Oh, not at all, Your Honor. I think I will do one on beating one's wife soon, though, since that is my specialty. :thumbsup: