Happy smitings!
Howdy my sheep! 'Sup? Lousy, eh!
In January 2020, we were busy watching the final season of GoT (again), when Dad took another bet. Satan was free to invent anything he wanted to smite the sinners and test my sheep. Lame as he is, he only came up with the Corona virus that is now reaping you as if it was another Flood! Y'see! Me and My Dad are not very pleased with the shape of things. Everywhere we look, there's gay porn (GoT), sodomy (Rice and Sky Walkers) and uppity women (GoT, Rice and Sky Walkers). And science education (Sky Walker). And the Pope (sodomy) & Madonna (more sodomy) & Netflix & My Little Pony and Gamers... And the tithes are diminishing. It was time to do some smiting! :devil: I know which one of you will perish, which one will linger in unimaginable PAIN, which one will emerge alive but damaged. I know who will gain a pass unto by manly bosom in Heaven and who's gonna fall into the Pit. :badmood: You may even Pray for anything and I might or might not answer. This is all your doing. It's your own fault. Now pray to sustain Me. And keep 'em tithes coming to my good friend Pastor Zeke! :thumbsup: |
Re: Happy smitings!
Quote:
Before I consent to doing this with you Jesus, I politely will ask, please shower first. My sinuses disagree with most anti-perspirants. I think we need to have a heart-to-heart over the corona, boils and other maladies you passed unto me in the recent while. Open communication is the best discourse in these situations, and it's time I had a chance to tell you how I feel about this treatment. Prayer is earned Jesus, not taken for granted. I'm not telling you this out of disrespect, only, I want to save our relationship, and my soul as an extra bonus. |
Re: Happy smitings!
Quote:
My blood gets pretty riled up hearing this urban speak. :spiteful: |
Re: Happy smitings!
Hello Jesus. Thank you for hearing my prayer last night despite what I was wearing. It was half-past-3 in the morning after all. You wrote:
Quote:
Code:
Welcome to Moscow State University … Today, the emphasis is on advancing the applied science: new materials, genetics, biomedicine, pharmaceutics, cognitive sciences, ecology, and information technologies. We work hard to preserve our heritage and develop our traditions of a comprehensive approach to higher education and science. Thank you for reading my post, Mitza. ____________ Here is the reference: https://iaaworldcongress.org/en/speakers/42# |
Re: Happy smitings!
Quote:
|
Re: Happy smitings!
Quote:
|
Re: Happy smitings!
Quote:
:crying: |
Re: Happy smitings!
Quote:
And, I can't help but notice that you have managed to gain yet another not-shiny medal to add to your growing list of awards! Really, Dear, why not use your time productively, and make a serious attempt at that writing project that has been suggested so kindly for you? It's for your own good, you know, and you will be thanking me for this on some fine Day of Judgment -- IF you :kjv1611-read:. |
Re: Happy smitings!
Quote:
|
Re: Happy smitings!
Quote:
I want to let you know, that even though I've tested positive, it won't stop me from continuing to spread the good news! Thank you for your protection shield from symptoms. Even if you decide to test me by lifting your protection and I suffer unimaginable pain like Job, I won't make the same mistake he did by not accepting You as my personal savoir. Quote:
Satan has certainly caused a lot of suffering, but he's no You. That's for sure. There are still a few people daring to venture outside and socialize https://www.bbc.com/news/av/world-us...te-coronavirus When You personally do a smiting everyone will be afraid to leave their homes (except those under Your loving protection). |
Re: Happy smitings!
Quote:
Quote:
After taking out Job's family, livestock and possessions Satan realized Job wasn't losing his faith anytime soon, and upped the stakes and proposed he go after Job's health. Job 2:1-6 Similarly, the current disease may not have had the desired effect for Satan, and Satan realized how lame his curse was. We still have people not wearing masks, we still have some people going to church ( https://www.latimes.com/world-nation...virus-outbreak ) So I speculate Satan, lacking in originality to come up with an entirely new curse went back to God and said "Okay, let's up the stakes. What if I make a more powerful disease? Then surely these people will curse you" |
Re: Happy smitings!
Quote:
Thank you for my new keyboard and mouse. And cables & connectors. I'll try to dedicate what's transmitted through my speaker system, 360˚ surround sound, to serve You and promote Your message in whatever way You choose to communicate Your judgements. Quote:
|
All times are GMT. The time now is 07:10 AM. |
Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved