Seriously?
Dead serious.
How stupid are you guys? Like, do you EVER fact check? I've been checking in on this forum for a couple months, everyday it gets dumber and dumber. Guys, please tell me this whole forum is satire. Please. Tell me you guys aren't actually this stupid and uneducated. Please tell me you guys have some form of common sense. PLEASE, for the love of your piffleing God, tell this is all sarcasm. Jesus Christ. I just want a clear answer. Do you guys REALLY believe everything you say? Do you THINK before you speak? If so, you people are the reason lots of people see Christians as dramatic, You are the kind of people to make people atheists. |
Re: Seriously?
Quote:
|
Re: Seriously?
What has been said on these forums that’s so awful? The good people who attend Landover Baptist Church in Freehold Iowa are some of the godliest people I know. They follow the word of the KJV Bible. Nothing they say or do is contradictory to what they believe in. These forums are an extra place for them to communicate and preach in hopes of converting the unsaved into soldiers for Jesus and women to serve those soldiers. Nothing that’s said or done here is illegal either. Take your uppity atheist butt off the chair and read your Bible before you start making accusations around here you ignorant buffoon.
|
Re: Seriously?
Quote:
I Chronicles 16:22 "Touch not mine anointed, and do my prophets no harm." However, we do understand that you are angry and confused. You are in the right place to find the answers to your questions. We are here to testify to the wondrous Salvation through the shed :blood: of the Lamb, as outlined in the :kjv1611:. Might I invite you to open your own copy of the :kjv1611:, and to study with us, and to give your heart and soul to the :lord-fancy: :jesus-fancy: :christ-fancy:, as you ask :him-fancy: to forgive you and to cleanse you from your wretched, horrible, despicable, disgusting, appalling, shocking, scandalous, abhorrent, shameful sins, and to become washed in the cleansing :blood: that :christ-fancy: so graciously spilled for us on the cross at Calvary? Once you do that, you will see how wrong you have been. And, you will rejoice with us, the :true-fancy: believers at :forum-fancy:, in your eternal salvation and redemption as you learn, among other things, that :jesus-fancy: has not only redeemed you from spending eternity in :hell-2: (where you rightfully belong), but, rather, He has provided you with a free, no-mortgage mansion in Heaven, behind secure gates of pearl, on gold-paved streets: John 14:2 "In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you." Revelation 21:21 " And the twelve gates were twelve pearls: every several gate was of one pearl: and the street of the city was pure gold, as it were transparent glass." But, if you should choose to continue your life of sinful abominations, the only glimpse of Heaven that you will see is when you stand before the :lord-fancy: :god-fancy: Almighty on Judgment Day, when you will, undoubtedly and very deservedly, hear these words: "GO TO :hell-2:!!" Revelation 21:8 "But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death." I shall pray for your soul, young lady. Eternity is forever. :hell-2: is unbearably hot. The :blood: is cleansing. The choice is yours. Sincerely, Isabella W. |
Re: Seriously?
Yes, we are serious, as serious as is God when He says He plans to scorch billions of people on Judgment Day.
Repent for your sins now or accept the consequences! :rebuke: |
Re: Seriously?
Quote:
|
Re: Seriously?
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
|
Re: Seriously?
Quote:
|
Re: Seriously?
Quote:
|
Re: Seriously?
Heathens will mock and jeer but never seem to comprehend. Exactly how dreadful are the consequences of their folly? Hell is the worst outcome imaginable, worse than we can imagine, and yet they draw funny pictures and tell silly stories about escapades on broomsticks with ghosts and magic stars. Satan encourages that for a reason.
I Thessalonians 5:22 Abstain from all appearance of evil.Satan wants everyone to suffer torment as he himself is tormented. Even if he is the chief torturer, The Bible explains that he will be tormented too. There is a lake of fire prepared for him where all unbelievers will join him, suffering forever. Over and over again. Choose Jesus today. |
Re: Seriously?
Quote:
Yall believe the Earth is flat and that Vaccines cause Autism. I bet most of you guys couldn't do algebra! |
Re: Seriously?
I think you're getting confused with geometry.
|
Re: Seriously?
Quote:
You are confusing "intelligence" with "knowledge of information that you accept". There must have been billions of people (and there still are some in the remotest corners of the Earth's disk) that have not heard of algebra, quantum mechanics, Riemann's theorem or the hypothesis of eternal inflation. Are they less intelligent because they don't know the things that you supposedly know? Intelligence is a complex issue that can be assessed by the capability to innovate and function within the framework of a particular culture, time point and personal circumstances. Basically, Newton did not know anything about vaccines. Does that make him less intelligent than you. The framework where the intelligence of a True Christian™ is measured is the struggle to gain access into Heaven to as many sinners as possible and to remain knowledgeable about Bible and Jesus. Where do you stand with that measure of intelligence? 2 Peter 1:2 Grace and peace be multiplied unto you through the knowledge of God, and of Jesus our Lord, Yours in Christ, Elmer :bye: |
Re: Seriously?
Quote:
|
Re: Seriously?
Quote:
|
Re: Seriously?
How come crazies are able to penetrate the walls of this godly forum so easily? I asked my Pa what a pastafarian is and he looked at me like I was insane. I then showed him what this person just posted on the forums and he said he was enraged because it sounds like a Hillary voter. I’m scared that people like this “pastafarian” guy exist.
|
Re: Seriously?
Quote:
Matthew 25:41 "Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels". Now, then, your dear Pa is right once again, as is to be expected! Those pastafarianistic people almost certainly always vote for anybody who is NOT Godly. I suspect they're a break-away cult of the Cathyolicks (with Italiano heritage) because of their love of spaghetti. And another favorite food of those people is pizza, and we all remember the scandal about the pizza parlour, don't we? A blessed day to you, dear Sister. Sincerely, Isabella W. https://bloggingmothersmagazine.file...3/img_9183.jpg |
Re: Seriously?
Wow it all makes perfect sense now! Thank you Miss White and I hope you have a stupendously fabulous and blessed day dear sister. I hope I can grow up to be as smart as you some day.
Yours in Christ, Maxine |
All times are GMT. The time now is 10:01 PM. |
Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved