Who wants a Peleton for Christmas?
 

I've seen these weight-loss machines are very popular with the ladies. Personally I don't see the attraction but I know you ladies like to take care of yourselves with gym schedules and diets and make-up and shaving all your body hair. So who's going to drop hints for one of these machines for Christmas - then you can get the 6am gym experience in the comfort of your own home?

Re: Who wants a Peleton for Christmas?
 

I was told I should get a Peloton. I asked my Pa about these bikes. He hasn’t said yes or no. I get the feeling his silent stare followed by walking away makes me think he is getting me one for Christmas so I have to pretend like I have no clue now.

Re: Who wants a Peleton for Christmas?
 

What a neat idea, Dr. Toole! For a woman struggling with her character that is. Those of us whom the LORD has blessed with ambitious wombs are always fit! Why, people stop and stare at me and all my children with looks of admiration when we're in downtown Des Moines, whether we're shouting scripture so men can hear the Word of God and by hearing have faith (Romans 10:17) and be saved (Ephesians 2:8), or throwing stones at sinners to catch their attention (John 8:7; 1 John 5:18), between raising my children and tending to my back yard vineyard (Proverbs 31:16-17), I wouldn't have time to use such a secular toy. Strangers stop me on the street and ask me the secret of my captivating smile! When they find out how many children I have, they congratulate me and tell me I don't look a day over 24! This happens all the time! People say these things to me all the time! They're always talking about it! No, sitting on a simulation disco stick that functions to induce a state heaving bosoms like a whore might have is not for me, thank you very much.

Re: Who wants a Peleton for Christmas?
 

Maxine, engaging in deception is a dangerous strategy. Perhaps you should be more forthcoming about how much you need one of these things. Fake it, if necessary. Think of the plus size side - maybe you'll attract a high quality husband and be one less mouth to feed. What a gift to your father.

Re: Who wants a Peleton for Christmas?
 

I have no idea what this thing is, so I Googled it (emphasis added).


Who wants a peleton for Christmas? Gay French hippie communists, apparently.

Re: Who wants a Peleton for Christmas?
 

I’m rather confident in my own body. I might be only a couple of pounds above some of the other girls in my classes but I wouldn’t consider myself to be overweight. Nonetheless I am having thoughts on whether workout tapes would be more effective than a 2000 dollar bicycle. I decided to go through some and found this.

https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon....ZL._SY445_.jpg

For any of the older folk at Freehold who feel that VHS tapes may not be for them, I also found this.

https://i.etsystatic.com/15165308/r/...66518_4tsq.jpg


Nevertheless, after reading the opinions of the elders of LBC here, I think it would be wise to pass on a Peloton. I don’t think I’m in “need” as nobody has ever told me I’m overweight or anything. I think if I were out of shape then someone would tell me by now right? I’m reminded of 1 Corinthians 13:7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

God would also give me a sign to tell me I’m overweight as well and if I’m to have a Peloton, it would be him who’d give it to me as per Proverbs 3:5.

Re: Who wants a Peleton for Christmas?
 

If you can afford one of these overpriced Peloton's (as well as their stock), it means you're not tithing enough to Jesus.

If kitchen and house chores are not enough to keep fit and trim, there's always snow shoveling and lawn mowing (with the added benefit of depriving income to illegal immigrants so they will head back home). How about walking to the grocery store and carrying back your purchases. Finally, there's always putting on a crown of thorns and dragging a cross a few miles.

Re: Who wants a Peleton for Christmas?
 

Wow! They see this:

. #1	. #2
.PRICE: less than $200 .GOES: anywhere	.PRICE: more than $2,000 .GOES: nowhere
Attachment 28561	Attachment 28562

and think, “Yeeeeaaahhrggh ...NUMBER 2 ...niice!"

. Would someone not in tune with The Lord benefit from exercise?
. . It's like those "joggers" doing their "stretching" on street corners or by traffic lights.
. . . Why carry on like that in such a place?
. . . . Proverbs 7:12

Re: Who wants a Peleton for Christmas?
 

My great aunt Wynnie on her return trip from Zimbabwe brought me one of these when as a little girl, along with a hoof-clubbed stick and an elephant's foot.



Charming beasts, how I miss mine..


https://www.thethirdpole.net/wp-cont...re-Society.jpg

Re: Who wants a Peleton for Christmas?
 

Is that an aard-vark? I don't think you can eat them.

Re: Who wants a Peleton for Christmas?
 

From ZImbabwe, you say? Oh my goodness! However did the poor creature get there?

Re: Who wants a Peleton for Christmas?
 

The peletons are native all over Africa, you can see it on a map. It's somewhere in that jumble of central territories.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikiped...nis_ranges.png

Re: Who wants a Peleton for Christmas?
 

By "poor creature", I was referring to your great aunt.

Re: Who wants a Peleton for Christmas?
 

I suppose she was a whinny critter of misfortune. She had a glass eye that wiggled, and a nose like a garygole.

Re: Who wants a Peleton for Christmas?
 

Jesus also hates virtue singnaling.

Re: Who wants a Peleton for Christmas?
 

I hear Peleton stock is going down. I can only assume it is due to the Great Awakening President Trump has inspired in Christian America! Now that people are taking their faiths seriously they are reading the Bible and find skinniness is not Godliness:

The Lord loves fat so much He will take charge of it all.


Even God's sword is fat (and bloody).


God likes fat animals, too. He will even engorge them with people to make them even fatter, all in the name of His vengeful justice.


Lazy people are skinny and poor, and the LORD has no affection for them.


The Word of God is clear, if you trust Jesus, He will make you fat.


You can know the tree by it's fruit (Matthew 7:16), and wicked people are skinny and hungry fruit, whereas the righteous aren't afraid to pack a Godly amount of junk in their trunk.


I don't know why anyone would spend money on a contraption that Jesus so clearly disapproves of, and I think that is why their sales are hitting rock bottom.

Re: Who wants a Peleton for Christmas?
 

Re: Who wants a Peleton for Christmas?
 

If anyone wondered how these Peloton things work, I found an instructional video online. You can see the excess weight being almost shorn off in no time at all.

Re: Who wants a Peleton for Christmas?
 

They could use these devices in Missouri. I understand that the Christian ladies there could do to lose a few pounds.