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-   -   Nobar King, you're blind as a bat! (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=66741)

Nobar King 06-20-2011 07:11 PM

Nobar King, you're blind as a bat!
 
I can't seem to see things that are right in front of my face.

I spent an hour today looking for my Makita drill so I could fix a tool that I needed for some garden work. I was able to find both batteries, the charger and the flashlight, but the drill was more elusive. I searched each room in my house multiple times and started to wonder whether one of my Mexicans took it. I even looked inside of the other tool boxes that already have different tools in them. I was desperate. I couldn't even remember the last time I used it.

Just as I was about to give up I went back to the first place I started looking and, surprise, there was my drill! I was almost ready to go out and buy another drill.

I used to joke and wonder why "you always find things in the last place you look," but I'm starting to wonder if it's more likely that I'm just blind and not seeing things that aren't lost and are right where they should be.

:wacko:

MitzaLizalor 06-20-2011 07:46 PM

Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat!
 
I can never find a drill when I need one.

But bright colours are more noticeable, and helps things to stand out for me. Here's a nice orange one:

James Hutchins 06-20-2011 08:05 PM

Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat!
 
I think the drill had been taken by a false Christian and God, seeing your dilemma and stress, retrieved it for you and put it where you last left it, hence it being where you looked first.

Another miracle!

As a side note, you probaly ought to get rid of that chink drill and get a real one, like the Bosch or Milwaukee

Capt. Aaron Portway 06-20-2011 08:47 PM

Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat!
 
1 Attachment(s)
I like Dewalt tools, mostly because they're bright yellow and easy to see. Also, Black & Decker owns Dewalt, so they're American. Bosch is a German company, and while they're decent, they're blue and too hard to see.


Billy Bob Jenkins 06-20-2011 08:52 PM

Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat!
 
I am always very careful to keep my drills and other rotary tools far away from my wife.

MitzaLizalor 06-20-2011 09:15 PM

Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins (Post 767257)
I am always very careful to keep my drills and other rotary tools far away from my wife.

That is very considerate, Mr Jenkins. At present I am having my house renovated so there are a lot of builders around, and they are much better with their tools than anything I can manage on my own.

Felicity 06-20-2011 09:28 PM

Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat!
 
Why not pray to Jesus for better eyes? :innocent:

Nobar King 06-20-2011 09:52 PM

Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Felicity (Post 767267)
Why not pray to Jesus for better eyes? :innocent:

I did do that, but there was some swearing involved, too, so I'm not very hopeful that my eyes are going to get better.

María Gálvez-Villalobos 06-20-2011 11:07 PM

Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat!
 
http://gandhiappliances.com/images/Bosch-GSB16REenl.jpg


My grandafther have this kind of driller - this is what I'm using when I'm helping to him in the house in the country - these days I am stay whit them near Alcoy - not Alicante - cos he need the help and I'm a good worker too! I always were one!

I like the elegant blue's tone it have.

YIC, Mari:thumbsup:

Ezekiel Bathfire 06-21-2011 12:04 AM

Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Nobar King (Post 767224)
I can't seem to see things that are right in front of my face.:wacko:

How old are you? You look about 75 and going down hill. That sort of thing comes with age. I know, I can give you a year or two.

If you ever get like that again, the trick is to mime the actions of what ever it is you're looking for, and you'll find it quick enough.

Pro Tip: If it's the katsup bottle and you'd shake it - keep your hand well above your waist...

Cranky Old Man 06-21-2011 12:10 AM

Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire (Post 767322)
You look about 75 and going down hill. That sort of thing comes with age.

Nonsense! I am 74 years old and my eyesight is still flawless. Nobar just needs to pray harder.

Ezekiel Bathfire 06-21-2011 12:20 AM

Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man (Post 767323)
Nonsense! I am 74 years old and my eyesight is still flawless.

Meh! That's what my uncle Amos was saying when the 'phone rang and he picked up his wife's hot iron and said, "Hello!"

May be God thinks Nobar's seen enough of the sorrows and sins of this world.

Billy Bob Jenkins 06-21-2011 12:20 AM

Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat!
 
Surely you old men should be dying soon. I'm sure Jesus can't wait to have you at His side. :thumbsup:

SUV 06-21-2011 01:35 AM

Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat!
 
Don't feel badly, Brother Nobar King. Only he who cannot see JESUS is truly blind :)

Daisy Mae Johnson 06-21-2011 03:13 AM

Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat!
 
I think when objects get misplaced it's really demons playing tricks on people so they THINK they are losing their eyesight or their minds.

I agree with the suggestion to pray harder! Also, ask JESUS to rid your house of demons. They are always waiting for any opportunity to crawl inside a rectum and make a person gay. :pray:

HTannor 06-21-2011 11:54 AM

Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat!
 
Brother Nobar, I would trust one of these in your hands at any time.

http://i167.photobucket.com/albums/u...lt_dc759ka.jpg

But, I shudder at the thought of a homer getting his hands on one.

I am going to write a letter to our Godly U.S. Senator, Charles Grassley, and demand he introduce legislation that would ban these items being sold to queers.

María Gálvez-Villalobos 06-21-2011 12:00 PM

Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by HTannor (Post 767504)
Brother Nobar, I would trust one of these in your hands at any time.

http://i167.photobucket.com/albums/u...lt_dc759ka.jpg

But, I shudder at the thought of a homer getting his hands on one.

I am going to write a letter to our Godly U.S. Senator, Charles Grassley, and demand he introduce legislation that would ban these items being sold to queers.

I like THAT!:)

Shela Tansper 06-21-2011 02:20 PM

Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat!
 
I like my JCB drill again nice and bright

http://image.become.co.uk/imageserve.../thumbnail.jpg

Nobar King 07-01-2011 12:52 AM

Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat!
 
It's getting worse: This week I lost my car key. I spent a couple of days combing thru all of the junk in my house (over and over again) and was starting to think that I was going crazy. I gave up looking for the key but it turns out that it fell out of my pocket at the Country Buffet and I saw it pinned to the wall behind the cash register when I went in for my weekly Thursday senior night all-you-can-eat turkey with gravy feast. I went back for seconds and thirds and a slice of apple, cherry, pumpkin, and chocolate cream pie. I'm sure they're losing money on me. Anyway, I got my key back and I gave the hostess a dollar for saving it for me. I haven't lost my key since I got my Ford truck seventeen years ago; hopefully this doesn't become a regular thing.

SUV 07-01-2011 01:26 AM

Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Nobar King (Post 770457)
all-you-can-eat turkey with gravy feast. I went back for seconds and thirds and a slice of apple, cherry, pumpkin, and chocolate cream pie.

Oh, PRAISE!!! :thumbsup:

Palmer C. Eldrich 07-01-2011 02:08 AM

Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Nobar King (Post 770457)
it turns out that it fell out of my pocket at the Country Buffet.

How did you get home if you lost your key?

Nobar King 07-01-2011 03:01 AM

Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Palmer C. Eldrich (Post 770477)
How did you get home if you lost your key?

I caught a ride with Brother Harold Porter. I didn't realize my key was gone until Saturday when I was supposed to be at the Waffle House at 6:30 A.M. for morning pancakes. I missed my pancakes and spent the whole day going over my house for them, which was stupid, because they weren't even there.

James Hutchins 07-01-2011 11:21 AM

Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Nobar King (Post 770507)
I caught a ride with Brother Harold Porter. I didn't realize my key was gone until Saturday when I was supposed to be at the Waffle House at 6:30 A.M. for morning pancakes. I missed my pancakes and spent the whole day going over my house for them, which was stupid, because they weren't even there.

I an m not surprised you could not find your pancakes at home. They were still at the Waffle House.

Nobar King 07-01-2011 04:30 PM

Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by James Hutchins (Post 770641)
I an m not surprised you could not find your pancakes at home. They were still at the Waffle House.

That's not what I meant, Hutchins, and you know it. Why are you always so critical of my grammar?

Nobar King 07-28-2011 11:08 PM

Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat!
 
It happened again. I lost a set of 4 AA batteries to use with my camera sometime around October 2010. These were my backup batteries. I've been doing my best to keep my primaries charged up, but I never gave up looking for the other four.

Yesterday I was searching for my spare SD card and as I was rooting around in my camera bag I found the stupid batteries and they were in the front pocket the entire time. I literally have been taking them out on shoots all the time in that bag and each time I've been wondering where they were. I hope I don't make that mistake, again.

Nobar King 02-07-2013 04:53 PM

Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat!
 
My eyesight is getting worse. I spent two hours looking for my glasses this morning but I was wearing them the whole time. While I was looking for them I even forgot what I was looking for.

turdbear 02-10-2013 01:34 AM

Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat!
 
What did you do to cause yourself to lose your eyesight?

Pastor Ezekiel 02-10-2013 01:39 AM

Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by teddybear (Post 976553)
What did you do to cause yourself to lose your eyesight?

It's just an expression we Normal people use. Brother Nobar isn't a member of your tribe. He reads his Bible every day, I know that.

turdbear 02-10-2013 01:48 AM

Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat!
 
As do I, only with my ears rather than my eyeballs, which are inferior because you have to have light in order to use them. It's pretty cool to be able to read in pitch dark.

MitzaLizalor 02-10-2013 08:18 AM

Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by teddybear (Post 976556)
As do I, only with my ears rather than my eyeballs, which are inferior because you have to have light in order to use them. It's pretty cool to be able to read in pitch dark.

I can't see the difference.

Ears don't work without sound.
Eyes don't work without light.

But hearing is a special case of touch, which works at a distance; maybe Braille would have an advantage? But that wouldn't work either if one were catatonic.

Jesus is tha answer.

Didymus Much 02-10-2013 08:35 AM

Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor (Post 976627)
...if one were catatonic...

Tried it, didn't like it. Prefer ginnantonic, thanks. :thumbsup:

Nobar King 03-08-2013 07:50 PM

Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat!
 
I'm sure you guys are getting tired of these stories, but it has happened, again. I spent two weeks looking for my key chain that has my car key and my flashlight. I looked everywhere including the frigerator and under my bed. I started assuming that I did something stupid, like drop it in the trash by mistake.

Well, today I decided to clean out the utility drawer in my kitchen and SURPRISE, my keys were hidden amongst a knot of wires from old AC adapters and unused headphones. This was the first place I had looked because it's right under the place where I usually drop the keys and I had searched thru this drawer several times but of course I was unable to actually see what I was looking for.

I keep telling my optometrist about this but he always assures me that my prescription is still accurate.

This is a good lesson because when someone tells me they lost something I always ask them, "where is the first place you looked?" and tell them to look there ten more times, because that's where it's going to end up.

Nobar King 03-27-2013 05:53 PM

Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat!
 
This time I lost my wallet as I was driving to the store. When I checked it wasn't in my pocket so I went back home and spent an hour looking for it in places that I already knew didn't have it, like my pants from yesterday.

I got exasperated and was ready to give up and then I spotted it in my car it was next to the seat and the door. I could have searched my house FOREVER and it wasn't even there!

FloydBeck 05-26-2013 04:32 PM

Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Nobar King (Post 767224)
I can't seem to see things that are right in front of my face.

I spent an hour today looking for my Makita drill so I could fix a tool that I needed for some garden work. I was able to find both batteries, the charger and the flashlight, but the drill was more elusive. I searched each room in my house multiple times and started to wonder whether one of my Mexicans took it. I even looked inside of the other tool boxes that already have different tools in them. I was desperate. I couldn't even remember the last time I used it.

Just as I was about to give up I went back to the first place I started looking and, surprise, there was my drill! I was almost ready to go out and buy another drill.

I used to joke and wonder why "you always find things in the last place you look," but I'm starting to wonder if it's more likely that I'm just blind and not seeing things that aren't lost and are right where they should be.

:wacko:

Nice very nice. Sometimes you find things when you are not searching for them. The harder you search less are the chances of getting them:lol::lol:

Nobar King 09-19-2015 09:54 AM

Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat!
 
It happened again. I lost my house key and spent the day looking for it. I found several things that I had been looking for like a miniature mother-of-pearl damascus steel pocket knife and my crescent wrench set. I finally found the key after rummaging thru the garage: I left it in the front-door lock overnight after coming home late.

Good thing I didn't get robbed.

Jim Farmer 09-19-2015 11:28 AM

Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat!
 
Brother Nobar, I was going to ask whether your father told you what causes blindness. But then I saw this http://www.landoverbaptist.net/image.../nowanking.png next to your name, and realised it couldn't be that. There must be another reason.

Is it possible that you have any Syrian ancestors? I hope not! Or is your ancestry purely American - going back for thousands of years?
2 Kings 6:18 And when they came down to him, Elisha prayed unto the Lord, and said, Smite this people, I pray thee, with blindness. And he smote them with blindness according to the word of Elisha.

Ezekiel Bathfire 09-19-2015 11:41 AM

Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat!
 
When I lose small things, I pray. God sees all and knows where things are (In that respect, He is very much like Mrs Bathfire).

I prayed that my gold Patek Philippe watch would reveal itself unto me - I last remember having it in a gas station bathroom. I haven't found it yet, but that is only because God has answered "Wait."

Nobar King 08-16-2017 07:23 PM

Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat!
 
It happened again. I was going fishing and went inside for s One minute later my keys are GONE! I looked for 30 minutes, I even looked in the fridge, more than once.

I finally found the keys in the fridge. I had grabbed a Miller Lite can and dropped them in the case. I found them when I grabbed a second one for the road.

I'm not surprised, anymore, but losing things over and over is really annoying.

Dr. Anthony J. Toole 08-16-2017 08:24 PM

Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat!
 
Brother Nobar, the solution is to have 2 sets of everything. It's very unlikely you'll lose both sets and, even if you do, you're twice as likely to find one of them. If your Alzheimers continues to progress necessary, you can accrue additional sets of items so you'll be sure never to lose anything.

Nobar King 04-07-2019 10:48 PM

Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat!
 
Here is another good one:


Today I plugged my cell phone in to its charger and then spent 30 minutes looking for the phone around the house before I realized my mistake. I may never learn. I will never be on time.


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