Re: China Rescue Mission underway
 

I know. Ever since I started this mission I have been tireless.

Re: China Rescue Mission underway
 

Update: We have had so much fun learning to surf that we. Moved our operations to the north shore of Oahu. Luckily we secured a beachfront condo able to sleep 8 comfortably. I prayed for China last night before we spent a sleepless night exploring the island.

I think our journey might have to be extended if we are going to save more people from the virus. Donations are sorely needed. Show you care, people. WWJD?

The ahi ahi was ono at the Hilton last night. We will have our phones up and running late today to reach more with the good news of Christ’s shed Blood. Well Len and Brock bought matching board shorts so we are ready for another week of victory in our new digs. God is good all the time. Don’t forget those donations.

Re: China Rescue Mission underway
 

People there is reason to rejoice as we have prayed the virus back to hell from whence it came. Jesus tells us if we pray God can and might do anything so we are resting on that promise.

We are now going to get home and praise God for protecting us as we worked to rid the world of this scourge. The anonymous $500,000 donation paid the hotel bill and our surfing lessons so we praise God for that. Great Granny you are amazing and I will never reveal your generosity. As promised we tithed ten percent to our own ministry.

Should be back in godless New York for Sunday services. Love offerings will still be needed to maintain our level of ministry so don’t close that checkbook just yet. God is good and faithful.

Re: China Rescue Mission underway
 

Oh, and to the :lord-fancy: :jesus-fancy: :christ-fancy: goes the :praise-2: How I thank you for such a glorious report of your mission, dear Great-Grandbaby Brother Larry. I am sure that our Pastors are so proud of you for carrying the :blood:-stained banner, to defeat the enemy and to end this horrid, cursed virus. Yes! Back to the pit of :hell-2: the virus goes -- where it belongs and where it shall remain forevermore!

Exodus 23:25 "And ye shall serve the Lord your God, and he shall bless thy bread, and thy water; and I will take sickness away from the midst of thee."

I'm ever so pleased that donations have helped you to carry out this work, Dear. The :lord-fancy: does love when :his: :true-fancy: people respond, for the furtherance of the cause of :his: great work -- and that is something that we should all remember.

II Corinthians 9:7 "Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for :god-fancy: loveth a cheerful giver."

May :god-fancy: be with you and keep you, dear Brother Larry. It will be my great pleasure to extend your good news to the ladies at the upcoming Wednesday Afternoon McGill Street Ladies' Afternoon Prayer Meeting, Bible Study and Tea & Social!

Re: China Rescue Mission underway
 

Granny

Why not solicit donations at your meeting? 25% of their monthly income should do nicely. Of course I covet their prayers much more but to keep going on this ministry needs faithful supportive people like you.

And them.

Re: China Rescue Mission underway
 

Oh, now that is a very good idea, dear Great-Grandbaby Brother Larry! My, goodness, you certainly do think on your feet, don't you? Well, as excellent a suggestion as that is, I'm afraid that it is not feasible. You see, I've recently had a call from our beloved Pastor Zeke, asking how the Wednesday Afternoon McGill Street Ladies' Afternoon Bible Study, Prayer Meeting and Tea & Social love offerings are coming along. Those offerings are generous contributions that the ladies are donating to Pastor Zeke's fund for his new jet aeroplane. Pastor did remind me that our commitment is very important to his ministry here at :forum-fancy:, and that we are not to be distracted by "miscellaneous missions, elsewhere". Now, that being said, you have nothing to fear, dear boy. Your pretty epergnes are still safely tagged, "for Larry"!

And, may I wish you a blessed day full of the love of :god-fancy:!

Re: China Rescue Mission underway
 

Sigh.

I guess I just have to cancel my future missions since no one cares about lost souls. But don’t worry. I will be fine. I will just live in squalor wearing polyester sackcloth and eating scraps from the hot dog vendors downtown. No need to feel guilty. I won’t be needing those eugenes or whatever they are called. No place to put them. So bye.

Re: China Rescue Mission underway
 

Sister Isabella, in view of Larry's post above, perhaps you could donate your epergnes (whatever they may be - are they foreign?) to Pastor Zeke's airplane fund? I'm sure they could be sold to the sort of people who like what the Joos so charmingly call tchotchkes.

Oh, and all best wishes in your new life, Larry dear. :thumbsup: We will think of you fairly often.

Re: China Rescue Mission underway
 

I have changed my mind and will be moving on to help the poor suffering folks in Italy from my ground zero Italian location in Fiji. My fellow ministers Zach and Trent will be joining me as we defeat the disease in Florence and other nearby centers of Cotrimavirus activity.

Updates soon.

Re: China Rescue Mission underway
 

Oh, now, dear, darling Brother Larry -- things won't get to that level. Heaven above; please don't fret so! Since you are such a fine, upstanding, handsome, manly, talented, devout, muscular man of :god-fancy:, the :lord-fancy: will ensure that you are always given the care that you so rightfully deserve.

Romans 8:28 "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."

And, as a dedicated son of the King of Kings, then that makes you a prince in your own right. And you must know that :god-fancy: will always honor one of :his: very own!

I Peter 2:9-10:
9 But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light;
10 Which in time past were not a people, but are now the people of God: which had not obtained mercy, but now have obtained mercy.

Now, then, when have you ever heard of a member of a royal priesthood having to take scraps from a hotdog vendor down at 42nd & 8th Avenue? So, you see, Dear, you have naught as the cause of worry. And to give you added reassurance, may I leave this lovely song of inspiration for you, as given by none other than :god-fancy:'s very favorite and most blessed soprano, Norma Zimmer:



Oh, that is such a thoughtful idea that you have there, dear Sister Joanna. But as I (and the other faithful elect of the Wednesday Afternoon McGill Street Ladies' Bible Study, Prayer Meeting and Tea & Social) have given so generously to Pastor Zeke (from out of the bottomless depths of the goodness of our hearts), then I shan't think that selling my epergnes will be necessary. No; they shall remain as they are, tagged "for Larry", until my time comes to meet my Maker and :lord-fancy: of :lord-fancy:s. But I do thank you for such a helpful suggestion, Dear.

There! You, see, Dear, that did not take long for the :lord-fancy: to intervene and to help you find the funding for your latest ministerial venture that will bring honor and glory to :his: great Name! Oh, how happy and proud you will make us all feel, here at :forum-fancy:, Dear. And to you I send much love, as do Agatha (my sister), Sister Clementine-Minnie, and Sister Priscilla (photographed from last week's Wednesday afternoon meeting):
https://i2-prod.dailyrecord.co.uk/in...615/girls2.jpg

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I will write you a longer message later Granny but when your check arrived by messenger hours ago I knew it was a sign from GOD that I had to pack for Fiji and pray this virus away. From there I will be in Key West to assist those in South Korea.

We do need to clarify it’s not just those peregrines or whatever they’re called that are earmarked for me. I mean, the pepto palace is also mine and the inheritance finances as well ???????

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Fiji is safe. Italy will be healed once our prayers are at Heaven’s portal. We are concerned that the papists might stand in our way. We dressed up like Mary to fool the Pope and gave orders to accept Jesus the right way so we will see if those efforts were successful. Huge party in Fiorenze afternoon then to do some surfing in Sicily but our plane has to be sanitized with prayer first. Our new friend Nick was going to join us but he came down with a sore throat and fever and a nasty cough so we took him to a restaurant instead and bought him some cough drops. Well folks more updates when available. Our translator phones are working but they are translating in Spanish instead of eyetalian so we have to figure that out. The devil never stops but he is defeated in Jesus Christ. Prayers and donations appreciated. Love you Granny.

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I thought Italy was shut down and armed police were patrolling the streets (or Lestrade as the Eyeties unaccountably call them - like that police inspector in Sherlock Holmes) with the intention of shooting honest folks exercising their God-given right to roam free? Do take care, Larry dear. It would be tragic if you and your friends were mown down in a hail of bullets.


They understand American well enough when it suits them but, in the event of problems, the phrase you need is: Non sparare! Sono un americano devoto!

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No need to fear sweet Joanna:wub::wub::wub:

God has given us victory. Do not believe fake news reports to the contrary. We prayed in the direction of Italy and believed God for a miracle. Nothing more to do. We are headed for Key West to aid the suffering in South Korea. Nick just felt awful so we are bringing him along. Hopefully he’s over this bad cold so we can get some sun as we pray for the chinks in Seoul. He keeps sneezing all over us. Silly boy. My love to the boys and sweet little Hannah. Join us in Florida if Matthew isn’t being his usual tyrannical pifflewad.

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I will thank you to be less offensive, Larry. Or at least, to try. That really shouldn't be so difficult, should it? Bear in mind Proverbs 18:19: A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle.

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Joanna:wub:
Forgive me. He hasn’t been kind to me. It’s a two way street dear. Would love to frolic in Key West with you. Of course I am terribly busy with this crusade and taking care of Nicky. There he goes coughing all over me again. Well we’re all going to watch the sunset so think of us and utter prayers when convenient. Trying to get our translator phones programmed to South Korea but I don’t know how to say y’all in Korean. Jesus will provide. Toodles!!!!!!!

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Further Updates

We said prayers for the souls of Seoul so I know that the virus is defeated there now. Four days in Key West to explore and minister to the rather huge homer population here. If anyone hears more about the corona situation give me a call. Jesus cares.

Granny you’re welcome to join me here with advance notice. I would love you to meet Nick. Perhaps you could help him with his shortness of breath and this cough.

Off to kneel with my new friend Jon. We have a huge load to take to the Lord.

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Now, wait just a second here, dear Great-Grandbaby Brother Larry. Goodness; I am a tad confused, so you'll just have to back up the bus for dear old Granny Isabella, and explain this very carefully to me. What on Earth does your ministry in Korea have to do with Key West? I'm assuming that you're referring to Key West, in the State of Florida? Perhaps you could send some photos of the outreach in Seoul, as I'm sure Pastor Zeke and our brethren would love to know of the proof success that you're having there. But, Key West? I just can't picture the connection to Seoul, for some strange reason.

And, I do wish your friend, Nicholas, the very best with his recovery -- :god-fancy:speed, and all of that. Unfortunately, I am unable to assist him, as I am so terribly busy preparing for the Wednesday Afternoon McGill Street Ladies' Prayer Meeting, Bible Study and Tea & Social, which shall be held today at the "pepto palace". Sadly, the decorators are still at work in the dining room, so I'm afraid our tea & social part will be in the kitchen once again, but we will lift you and Nicholas in prayer in the parlor.

Do take care of yourself, dear Brother Larry, and please don't fret unnecessarily when hearing the radio reports of the "growing numbers" of virus infection. We know that those lying Demorats are working overtime, doing the work of Satan, to spread more hoaxes about this fake thing. Our :god-fancy:-sent President Donald J. Trump is entirely right: the virus will go away.

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Oh Granny

Silly woman. I am basing all my virus operations safely away from the actual virus. God doesn’t have to be in the same room to heal us.

Are you suffering from the virus yet? I am having my attorney draw up papers for the property transfer today. All you have to do is sign them and once you get sick and die you won’t have to worry. And Agatha is taken care of too! See how thoughtful I am?

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"Silly woman"? Are you sure you did not mean that message to go to someone else, dear Brother Larry? As for the paperwork, my lawyer has just called. He said he had received something in electronic format from "Larry's lawyer" that landed in his "Spam" folder, amongst the "Nigerian prince" letters (whatever they may be.) Rest assured that that was discarded. Mr. Knickerbocker has said that he will consider nothing, unless it is hand-delivered. By the way, in case you should ever be in need of a good lawyer, I highly recommend Kickerbocker, Applebaum & Associates.Their office is ever so easy to find -- it's just across from the police headquarters on Court Street.

As for the virus, no, I am not suffering from it. :praise-2: The loving :lord-fancy: and :savior-fancy: is protecting me, and I expect to be hale and hearty for another 20 years -- at least!

Jeremiah 33:6 "Behold, I will bring it health and cure, and I will cure them, and will reveal unto them the abundance of peace and truth."

Now, then, I must run. The timer has just chimed, and the Bakewell tart needs to be rescued. A blessed day to you, Dear!