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-   Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forumdisplay.php?f=42)
-   -   Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=2057)

Pastor Isaac Peters 04-23-2012 12:09 AM

Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jpagan (Post 875324)
But God is omnipotent, omnipresent, all powerful. If tanks and bombs and hatred can't so much as scratch him, how can a tender act between two people? I guess thats my hang up with this issue.

Your hangup with this issue is your completely inaccurate assumption that Biblical morality is based on the Mill harm principle.

Jpagan 04-23-2012 11:04 PM

Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pastor Isaac Peters (Post 875347)
Your hangup with this issue is your completely inaccurate assumption that Biblical morality is based on the Mill harm principle.

Thank you Pastor, things are starting to clear up. Since I'm having trouble understanding the original source (The KJV Bible) where can I get some extra tutoring on these questions I have?

Pastor Ezekiel 04-24-2012 03:42 AM

Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jpagan (Post 875763)
Thank you Pastor, things are starting to clear up. Since I'm having trouble understanding the original source (The KJV Bible) where can I get some extra tutoring on these questions I have?

Private Pastoral counseling is available by clicking on the link at the bottom of my signature below.

The Word of God can be had for free if you just visit your local Independent Baptist Church and ask the Pastor for one. Make sure you ask specifically for a KJV1611 Authorized Version Bible.

Also you can read one online at www.biblegateway.com. And for your assisted reading pleasure, Brother V has got a wonderful thread going HERE called "Bible in a Year."

Roberta 04-25-2012 03:43 AM

Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!
 
Ryan Sorba Calls Homosexuality a Hobby


During the Awakening 2012’s panel on the “LGBT Agenda,” right-wing activist Ryan Sorba said that homosexuality is a hobby akin to playing basketball and surfing, as part of his argument that conservatives should “stop using the word gay” since it may lead people to believe that “they’re born gay.”

If fundamental human rights are based on capricious desires, guess what, we’d have every group on this planet with a different hobby arguing for fundamental rights and benefits based on the fact that they play hockey, based on the fact that they play basketball or surf, or anything that they’re interested in.


http://www.rightwingwatch.org/

Redeemed Papist 04-25-2012 04:36 PM

Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jpagan (Post 875324)
But God is omnipotent, omnipresent, all powerful. If tanks and bombs and hatred can't so much as scratch him, how can a tender act between two people? I guess thats my hang up with this issue.

What makes you think God cares one jot how you feel? Show me where God says you ought to be happy or to like what He decrees.

Superdork33 04-29-2012 01:11 PM

Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!
 
Will you stop calling homos homers?
Homer is the name of a funny and hetero charecter.
so please stop using it like that.

Homersexual was a joke in the show itself.


"a smart man knows that gay also means happy....
..a wise man knows that you shouldnt yell 'Im gay' to claim that you are happy"
-Somone.

Rev. M. Rodimer 04-29-2012 10:43 PM

Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jpagan (Post 875763)
Thank you Pastor, things are starting to clear up. Since I'm having trouble understanding the original source (The KJV Bible) where can I get some extra tutoring on these questions I have?

It's wonderful to see you making an effort to understand Jesus and the Bible!

I think we (True Christians™) should all befriend this young man and help him on his path toward Salvation™.

You'll note two resources in my signature in addition to Pastor Ezekiel's. First is a section of this very forum, where you can read the Bible along with Landover's Brother V, and join in discussion.

The other is more geared toward "Bible beginners", and may be helpful as well.

Jpagan 04-30-2012 03:16 AM

Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!
 
I would like to graciously accept your kind words and continue to learn about True Christians. :)

Pastor Ezekiel 04-30-2012 03:19 AM

Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jpagan (Post 878465)
I would like to graciously accept your kind words and continue to learn about True Christians. :)

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

LadyGentleman 07-08-2012 03:39 AM

Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!
 
I am a lesbian. As I recall, the passage in leviticus that you interpret as condemning homosexuality says something along the lines of "a man shall not lie with another man, as it is an abomination." So what about us girls who like girls? Are we sinners? And if that's so in you view, could you please explain why you think so? Also how would one go about "curing" me?

Zechariah Smyth 07-08-2012 04:50 AM

Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by LadyGentleman (Post 903653)
I am a lesbian. As I recall, the passage in leviticus that you interpret as condemning homosexuality says something along the lines of "a man shall not lie with another man, as it is an abomination." So what about us girls who like girls? Are we sinners? And if that's so in you view, could you please explain why you think so? Also how would one go about "curing" me?

It's not about what WE think, it's about what JESUS thinks, and of course Jesus can't stand filthy rug-munchers and disgusting pole-smokers. It's right there in the New Testament:

(Romans 1:26-27) "For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet."

You should contact a Senior Pastor about getting help discarding your lesbian deathstyle choice.

:innocent:

Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

freemanjessica 07-29-2012 11:15 PM

Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!
 
I know that homosexuality can be overcome because I myself have had to do just that. And it's been years now since I have lusted over other women. I'm learning to rise above the flesh. I do have the blessing of loving men, also, I was never completely lesbian but I know it's possible to overcome such feelings. I know that raging hormones are not an excuse for any type of lust - including homosexuality. And I've come a really long way. So it can be done! I'm ashamed to admit my experiences but at the same time, if it will give someone else hope, then I would like to post this. You can do it! If you need help, come on here and pray, pray, pray. You can transform yourself, I promise. I used to be a very lustful person and now I'm not. And I'm happy about that...my life is much better now. It can happen! Don't give up!

Didymus Much 07-29-2012 11:20 PM

Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by freemanjessica (Post 911722)
I know that homosexuality can be overcome because I myself have had to do just that...

Hi, um, Jessica (I'll assume that's your first name). Why don't you make your way to the Introductions forum so that the True Christians™ here can greet you properly? Make sure to follow the detailed instructions at the top of the page, and don't leave anything out about your years of lusting after the female form (including sordid and graphic details of your conquests, pics a plus).

Rev. M. Rodimer 07-29-2012 11:58 PM

Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Didymus Much (Post 911724)
Hi, um, Jessica (I'll assume that's your first name). Why don't you make your way to the Introductions forum so that the True Christians™ here can greet you properly? Make sure to follow the detailed instructions at the top of the page, and don't leave anything out about your years of lusting after the female form (including sordid and graphic details of your conquests, pics a plus).

Great, now we'll have to wade through another catalogue of carpet-cleaning and cunny-bumping. :bad:

Nobody wants to read that stuff except you, Diddle-Us.

Jedediah 07-31-2012 12:17 AM

Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Didymus Much (Post 911724)
don't leave anything out about your years of lusting after the female form (including sordid and graphic details of your conquests, pics a plus).

What, are the pages on your Penthouse Forums magazines all stuck together, so now you try to get cheap thrills on our family forum? I'd have thought that some of our righteousness would have rubbed off on you by now, but apparently you're just dead set on letting your addiction to masturbation stand between you and Salvation. It's sad.

TinaSantafe, whore 08-03-2012 12:44 AM

Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!
 
Ok, so, I wanted to ask something.

Y'all keep talking about Satan raping non-believers up the butt, right? Does that mean Satan is gay? If Satan is gay, how does he punish the women who go to hell?

Didymus Much 08-03-2012 12:53 AM

Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by TinaSantafe (Post 913085)
...If Satan is gay, how does he punish the women who go to hell?

He makes them wear clashing colours, turns the TV from Oprah to a hockey game, and forbids them chattering inanely. :devil:

Pastor Ezekiel 08-03-2012 02:32 AM

Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by TinaSantafe (Post 913085)
Ok, so, I wanted to ask something.

Y'all keep talking about Satan raping non-believers up the butt, right? Does that mean Satan is gay? If Satan is gay, how does he punish the women who go to hell?

They are peeled like grapes and then repeatedly dipped in scalding hot spunk for all eternity. Take a look at THIS. :rtfm:

TinaSantafe, whore 08-03-2012 03:46 AM

Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel (Post 913104)
They are peeled like grapes and then repeatedly dipped in scalding hot spunk for all eternity. Take a look at THIS. :rtfm:

That doesn't sound so great.

Ok, next question! If homers like being anally raped, why would it be punishment or torture for Satan to spend eternity doing that to them? It sounds like it would be a reward for homers.

Pastor Ezekiel 08-03-2012 03:51 AM

Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by TinaSantafe (Post 913124)
That doesn't sound so great.

Ok, next question! If homers like being anally raped, why would it be punishment or torture for Satan to spend eternity doing that to them? It sounds like it would be a reward for homers.

Did you look at the link? :rtfm:

God chooses the torture that will most annoy the sinner. Joos for example, are forced to serve glasses of porkfat to all the muslims in hell. They wear pigskins too, and they have to pay retail.


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