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-   -   Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!! (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=35852)

Daisy Mae Johnson 01-22-2010 04:43 AM

Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!!
 
Sorry to be so fresh and blunt but I was deep in prayer and this came to me:

Women take note. If you ever feel pleasure while being intimate it is SATAN or his DEMONS causing the sensations!

Don't give into it. Don't let the pleasure sweep you away. You don't want to go to HELL for that do you?

:fear2:

Jacob the Angry Liar 01-22-2010 04:46 AM

Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!!
 
That makes sense. Sex is for procreation, so experiencing feelings of pleasure is not neccessary to pop out some soldiers for Jesus. In fact, I don't think God would want women to have ogasms at all. After all, He cursed Eve by multiplying the woman's pain in childbirth, so popping out soldiers for Christ is supposed to be unpleasant. I'm sure He feels the same way about conception.

Have you found any more scripture in your 1611 King James Bible that backs this up further? I'm interested to hear! :)

Forest Spirit 01-22-2010 05:03 AM

Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!!
 
How do you know that it isn't Jesus giving them the orgasms?

Petal 01-22-2010 05:09 AM

Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Forest Spirit (Post 456683)
How do you know that it isn't Jesus giving them the orgasms?

:angry: cuz lord Jesus were a bootiful virgins, He not no the first thang abouts nawty sex stuff :blushroll:, so there! -_-

i rebukes you for your dirty minds! :angry2:

Halleluyah Rob 01-22-2010 05:24 AM

Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Forest Spirit (Post 456683)
How do you know that it isn't Jesus giving them the orgasms?

That blasphemy is absurd and offensive. Why would you treat the Lord God as some kind of sex toy for women to experience pleasure? :angry:

Daisy Mae Johnson 01-22-2010 05:30 AM

Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Halleluyah Rob (Post 456694)
That blasphemy is absurd and offensive. Why would you treat the Lord God as some kind of sex toy for women to experience pleasure? :angry:

Not to mention disgusting. There is a special place in HELL for those granola types. :thumbdown:

Evil bunny 01-22-2010 05:32 AM

Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!!
 
Are you sure it's not just the Energizer bunny?
http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l1...gizerBunny.jpg
You're not going to let Pastor Ezekiel let you wait for ever, are you?

Daisy Mae Johnson 01-22-2010 06:02 AM

Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Petal (Post 456689)
:angry: cuz lord Jesus were a bootiful virgins, He not no the first thang abouts nawty sex stuff :blushroll:, so there! -_-

i rebukes you for your dirty minds! :angry2:


You are right precious Petal. JESUS never had a dirty mind. Only sinful, disgusting, HELLBOUND people do.

Daisy Mae Johnson 01-22-2010 06:09 AM

Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jacob11 (Post 456669)
That makes sense. Sex is for procreation, so experiencing feelings of pleasure is not neccessary to pop out some soldiers for Jesus. In fact, I don't think God would want women to have ogasms at all. After all, He cursed Eve by multiplying the woman's pain in childbirth, so popping out soldiers for Christ is supposed to be unpleasant. I'm sure He feels the same way about conception.

Have you found any more scripture in your 1611 King James Bible that backs this up further? I'm interested to hear! :)

1 Corinthians 7:1-5
<< 1 Corinthians 6 | 1 Corinthians 7 | 1 Corinthians 8 >>


7:1 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. 3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.


PROOF Satan gives evangelical wives the big O


Respect 01-22-2010 08:08 AM

Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!!
 
What is wrong with enjoying sex? It is a gift god has given us, is it not? shouldnt we take the liberty to enjoy what we have?

satanh8r 01-22-2010 08:15 AM

Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Respect (Post 456783)
What is wrong with enjoying sex? It is a gift god has given us, is it not? shouldnt we take the liberty to enjoy what we have?

i see where you are coming from, we were given sex, adam & eve enjoyed sex, did they not? the original humans, how have we differed so much since then that sex has become evil?

True Disciple 01-22-2010 08:45 AM

Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by satanh8r (Post 456789)
i see where you are coming from, we were given sex, adam & eve enjoyed sex, did they not? the original humans, how have we differed so much since then that sex has become evil?

Sex always has been evil. Why do you think there is no mention of sex prior to the Fall of Man? And why Adam and Eve got no children when still in paradise?

Respect 01-22-2010 08:50 AM

Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by True Disciple (Post 456804)
Sex always has been evil. Why do you think there is no mention of sex prior to the Fall of Man? And why Adam and Eve got no children when still in paradise?


The point remains that they were human.

Cranky Old Man 01-22-2010 08:58 AM

Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Respect (Post 456809)
The point remains that they were human.

Yes, and as such we are easily tempted to do things that are bad four our soul. There is a reason hell has much more people than heaven. Satan's temptations are everywhere. Satan invented orgasms to lure woman into his trap and also to make woman seduce man to get them into hell as well.

Max Light 01-22-2010 11:57 AM

Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!!
 
You guys are missing something here. God made the female and must of thought she needed the bits that give her the orgasm or it wouldn't of put the bits in. So are you saying your god stuffed it up.

Max

James Hutchins 01-22-2010 11:59 AM

Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Max Light (Post 456872)
You guys are missing something here. God made the female and must of thought she needed the bits that give her the orgasm or it wouldn't of put the bits in. So are you saying your god stuffed it up.

Max

Why do these idiots come on a CHRISTAN website, refuse the read the FAQs and wonder why we could care less about them. They simply fail to realize........ wait for it........ they have demonstrated they could care less about us and like little babies, want to be the center of the universe and have us answer a question when we know them from, well, Adam.
Your first post is on the wrong thread.

Please read the Pastor's Rules and Announcements. Pay attention to the "noobs" thread. Then go post your introduction on the introduction forum.
Thanks!

Failure to heed this warning will bring God's vengence upon you.:angry:

Cranky Old Man 01-22-2010 01:56 PM

Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Max Light (Post 456872)
You guys are missing something here. God made the female and must of thought she needed the bits that give her the orgasm or it wouldn't of put the bits in. So are you saying your god stuffed it up.

Which part of "Satan invented orgasms" in the post directly above your own post was too hard to read? Idiot.

Aristotle 01-22-2010 01:58 PM

Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man (Post 456812)
Yes, and as such we are easily tempted to do things that are bad four our soul. There is a reason hell has much more people than heaven. Satan's temptations are everywhere. Satan invented orgasms to lure woman into his trap and also to make woman seduce man to get them into hell as well.

Temptation comes from Satan. When Eve bit into the apple, one of the things she learned was how to enjoy sex. GOD was smart and didn't want her to get away with free pleasures so he made her suffer in childbirth.

True Disciple 01-22-2010 03:53 PM

Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Aristotle (Post 456935)
Temptation comes from Satan. When Eve bit into the apple, one of the things she learned was how to enjoy sex. GOD was smart and didn't want her to get away with free pleasures so he made her suffer in childbirth.

And then Satan invented condoms. We can only wait what will be God's next move in this spiritual war.

curio11 01-22-2010 04:24 PM

Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!!
 
so no thought of this just being a natural bodily process? the feeling of reaching climax whilst making love? The Body does many strange things, I suffer from sleep paralysis, Tjat was once thought to be linked to demons, but science soon figured it out. All to do with the wonderful bio-mechanisms of the body. Good stuff!!


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