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-   -   Why are there no good ladies anymore?!? (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=76891)

Trent Harvey, Jr. 04-20-2012 02:47 PM

Why are there no good ladies anymore?!?
 
Women who want to get married before they have sex are always either frigid, lesbians, or gold diggers who are selling their bodies like whores.

Or they are willing to give a test drive, but those ones are always whores who take birth control pills, which murder "fertilized eggs" aka children.

Or they go without birth control, but then they become single mothers, who either abandon their children to steal men's jobs, or are undignified, nonworking parasites.

Or they are murderers.

Then there are married women, which by Biblical Law I am free to sample, but who wants a filthy adulteress?

As for divorced women, well, same thing (Matthew 19:9).

And of course this goes without saying: all women these days are impossible to please.

Sighhhhhh. No wonder so many men are choosing to become gay. It's a miracle that so many of us keep choosing to be straight.

handmaiden 04-21-2012 08:45 PM

Re: Why are there no good ladies anymore?!?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Trent Harvey, Jr. (Post 874052)
Women who want to get married before they have sex are always either frigid, lesbians, or gold diggers who are selling their bodies like whores.

Or they are willing to give a test drive, but those ones are always whores who take birth control pills, which murder "fertilized eggs" aka children.

Or they go without birth control, but then they become single mothers, who either abandon their children to steal men's jobs, or are undignified, nonworking parasites.

Or they are murderers.

Then there are married women, which by Biblical Law I am free to sample, but who wants a filthy adulteress?

And of course this goes without saying: all women these days are impossible to please.

Sighhhhhh. No wonder so many men are choosing to become gay. It's a miracle that so many of us keep choosing to be straight.



Brother, you just need to pray harder. Nothing is impossible with God!



Platitudenally Yours,

Handmaiden

Jeb Stuart Thurmond 04-22-2012 03:57 PM

Re: Why are there no good ladies anymore?!?
 
Stand your ground soldier, help is on the way:

http://i1244.photobucket.com/albums/...submission.jpg

Trent Harvey, Jr. 05-02-2012 03:34 PM

Re: Why are there no good ladies anymore?!?
 
And women are so fat these days. Or they're some kind of bodybuilding bulldyke or vegetarian freak. A lady is supposed to look like this:

http://cdn1.retronaut.co/wp-content/...18-520x755.jpg

Bobby-Joe 05-02-2012 03:44 PM

Re: Why are there no good ladies anymore?!?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Trent Harvey, Jr. (Post 880102)
And women are so fat these days. Or they're some kind of bodybuilding bulldyke or vegetarian freak. A lady is supposed to look like this:

Sorry Trent, did you just say look the ideal woman should like a Barbary Coast hooker? :shok:

Brother Harvey,

You need to stop looking at these pop culture fantasy and start looking here in Freehold. There is many a Baptist Trophy wife to be found who are just ripe for the picking. Heck, remember Brother Colemen last Sunday saying his daughter Christy was a field ripe for the planting after Security caught her in one of the church supply cabinets with an industrial vacuum cleaner?

Rev. M. Rodimer 05-04-2012 01:43 AM

Re: Why are there no good ladies anymore?!?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe (Post 880108)
Heck, remember Brother Colemen last Sunday saying his daughter Christy was a field ripe for the planting after Security caught her in one of the church supply cabinets with an industrial vacuum cleaner?

I was wondering how Jose got into that part of the church, and why he wasn't off cleaning industrial vacuums as he was hired to do. :glare:

MitzaLizalor 05-04-2012 01:36 PM

Re: Why are there no good ladies anymore?!?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Trent Harvey, Jr. (Post 874052)

Women who want to get married before they have sex are always either frigid, lesbians, or gold diggers who are selling their bodies like whores.

Or they are willing to give a test drive, but those ones are always whores who take birth control pills, which murder "fertilized eggs" aka children. Or they go without birth control, but then they become single mothers, who either abandon their children to steal men's jobs, or are undignified, nonworking parasites. Or they are murderers.

And of course this goes without saying: all women these days are impossible to please.

..It's a miracle that so many of us keep choosing to be straight.

I'm not impossible

if only you were aged 100 and lived in Washington state.. :(

Mr.Common Sense 05-08-2012 02:15 PM

Re: Why are there no good ladies anymore?!?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Trent Harvey, Jr. (Post 880102)
And women are so fat these days. Or they're some kind of bodybuilding bulldyke or vegetarian freak. A lady is supposed to look like this:

http://cdn1.retronaut.co/wp-content/...18-520x755.jpg

I wouldn't talk about the fat thing mate.

johnsmith111 01-26-2013 12:55 AM

Re: Why are there no good ladies anymore?!?
 
i don't see a woman in sight, all these women are to hard to get.... time to pull out the elastrator.

Matthew 19:12 For there are eunuchs who were born........blah blah blah you get the point.

BelieverInGod 01-26-2013 02:12 AM

Re: Why are there no good ladies anymore?!?
 
I know this is going to sound "uppity" but perhaps it has to do with our communities lack of regard for girls.

Yes I realize that our quivers should be full of young men to be warriors for Christ, however, these young men will need young women to marry, and would you prefer that he marries a well raised True Christian© girl who understands her role? Or should he marry some girl he meets in a secular situation. We've all seen what a hassle that brings into our communities.

Personally, I've given birth to two girls (although both being under the age of 2 are probably too young for Brother Harvey).

Sarah Marks 01-28-2013 10:49 AM

Re: Why are there no good ladies anymore?!?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Trent Harvey, Jr. (Post 880102)
And women are so fat these days. Or they're some kind of bodybuilding bulldyke or vegetarian freak. A lady is supposed to look like this:

http://cdn1.retronaut.co/wp-content/...18-520x755.jpg

Brother Harvey, This is simply unrealistic. For one, she is wearing pants, and as I was raised, a true lady wears dresses and skirts, never pants. Secondly, the corset she is wearing cinches her waist, yes, but not the rest of her. This makes her a bit unproportional. Lastly, surely you wouldn't want your future wife to show herself of in tight fitting clothing, clad like a common whore.

Cranky Old Man 01-28-2013 01:32 PM

Re: Why are there no good ladies anymore?!?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr.Common Sense (Post 883008)
I wouldn't talk about the fat thing mate.

Why not? The Bible clearly states that being fat is evil (Luke 7:34, Matthew 11:19).

My wife became fat during several of her pregnancies and I pointed out her being a fat sinner each and every day until she stopped insulting God by being fat.

Mary Etheldreda 01-28-2013 05:09 PM

Re: Why are there no good ladies anymore?!?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man (Post 972551)
I pointed out her being a fat sinner each and every day until she stopped insulting God by being fat.

Indeed! We serve a supernatural, omnipotent God. I would never insult Him by offending Him with flab. Why, I would sooner dunk the Christ Child in toilet water and give Him a Holy Swirly than to get fat.

JustBeatMe 02-25-2013 08:57 AM

Re: Why are there no good ladies anymore?!?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man (Post 972551)
My wife became fat during several of her pregnancies and I pointed out her being a fat sinner each and every day until she stopped insulting God by being fat.

She gives you children and you dare to say she's a sinner???

Your mother should be ashamed of you, and I hope your wife leaves you

Zechariah Smyth 02-25-2013 09:09 AM

Re: Why are there no good ladies anymore?!?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by JustBeatIt (Post 981183)
She gives you children and you dare to say she's a sinner???

Your mother should be ashamed of you, and I hope your wife leaves you

The holy bonds of matrimony between a man and a woman are not something to be joked about.

:badmood:

YiC,

Zech

JustBeatMe 02-25-2013 08:14 PM

Re: Why are there no good ladies anymore?!?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Zechariah Smyth (Post 981187)
The holy bonds of matrimony between a man and a woman are not something to be joked about.

:badmood:

YiC,

Zech

A matrimony is with love and respect, I don't think something made without both of them is considered holy. I believe God understand when a matrimony don't work and finally ends but when is for REAL reasons, like this one

BelieverInGod 02-25-2013 08:21 PM

Re: Why are there no good ladies anymore?!?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by JustBeatIt (Post 981183)
She gives you children and you dare to say she's a sinner???

Psalm 51:5 Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me.

Quote:

Your mother should be ashamed of you, and I hope your wife leaves you
I'm sorry, is this the sanctity of marriage you were speaking about in your other post? You know where you stated that marriage is such a beautiful thing? So it's only a beautiful thing while it's smooth running, as soon as the waters get a bit rough, the woman should pack up and leave?


Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

BelieverInGod 02-25-2013 08:24 PM

Re: Why are there no good ladies anymore?!?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by JustBeatIt (Post 981326)
A matrimony is with love and respect, I don't think something made without both of them is considered holy. I believe God understand when a matrimony don't work and finally ends but when is for REAL reasons, like this one

**sigh**

Another one who has created a god in their own image

Matthew 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

The REAL GOD, disagrees with you, sunshine.

Didymus Much 02-25-2013 08:27 PM

Re: Why are there no good ladies anymore?!?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by JustBeatIt (Post 981326)
...I believe God understand when a matrimony don't work and finally ends but when is for REAL reasons, like this one

Why don't you read the Bible to find out what God really thinks, instead of making it up and trying to entice the True Christians™ to follow your false god (being you)?

Matthew 5:32 "But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery."

JustBeatMe 02-25-2013 10:03 PM

Re: Why are there no good ladies anymore?!?
 
If the Bible say you should run naked in the streets, would you do it?

How do you know the whole book was written just with the words of God? What if some parts where made with devilish inspiration?

Jeremiah 50:21-22 NLT: "Go up, my warriors, against the land of Merathaim and against the people of Pekod. Yes, march against Babylon, the land of rebels, a land that I will judge! Pursue, kill, and completely destroy them, as I have commanded you," says the LORD. "Let the battle cry be heard in the land, a shout of great destruction".

What kind of good and benevolent God say that? That's not God but the Devil disguised as our Lord


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