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-   -   Witch in the KITCHEN!!!!! (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=58926)

BelieverInGod 02-01-2011 07:53 AM

Witch in the KITCHEN!!!!!
 
:fear2:SISTERS! I COULDN'T BELIEVE MY EYES:fear2:

Okay, after being stared at by Sister MM like I was speaking some foreign tongue when I gave her a tray of Nanaimo bars on Sunday, I decided to drop by the Des Moines library to pick up some real American cook books.

:cray: I am so sorry. I didn't know what I was getting myself into. All I wanted was good American Cookbooks so that I wouldn't show my Canadian shame. :cray:

Did you know there are witch and lesbian cookbooks? Why do lesbians and witches need cookbooks, don't their gay friends do all the cooking for them?

I came across the following titles, and it completely shocked me.

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/...500_AA300_.jpghttp://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/...SH20_OU01_.jpghttp://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/...SH20_OU01_.jpghttp://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/...SH20_OU01_.jpghttp://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/...SH20_OU01_.jpghttp://g-ecx.images-amazon.com/image...500_AA300_.jpghttp://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/...500_AA300_.jpghttp://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/...500_AA300_.jpg

Those are just a few of the awful titles I saw. I am so glad that I didn't go through the steps of getting a Library card. I took as many of the books as I could up to the counter and THREW them at the lesbian there. I then started rebuking her and telling her that as hard as it must be for an old spinster like her LESBIANISM IS NOT THE ANSWER! I then pulled out my lighter and tried to burn the books, but a very large security guard grabbed me at that point and threw me out.

I was so shook up that I almost caused 3 accidents on the way home. Do the Lesbians have to get their filthy little fingers into ever part of society? I thought cooking and cleaning was below them, isn't that why they all smell like filthy hippies?

Seth properly rebuked me when I got home, and I deserved it. :black eye: I thought I would surprise him with a completely authentic American meal, but failed completely. I should know better than to do such silly things without asking him first.

Old Man Hatchet 02-02-2011 12:48 AM

Re: Witch in the KITCHEN!!!!!
 
I find this cover despicable:

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/...SH20_OU01_.jpg

Obviously the nudity offends me, but I'm also outraged by the fact that the woman has fruit pressed against her milk bags. Am I supposed to want to eat a grape that's been touching a nipple? If this book becomes popular, woman everywhere will be smothering food with their chest muffins. I am positively nauseous.

Guys, wash your food to be on the safe side.

Oakland "Reb" Griner 02-02-2011 12:56 AM

Re: Witch in the KITCHEN!!!!!
 
How many recipes for Catholic communion cookies does anyone need?

Nathan B. Forrest 02-02-2011 01:37 AM

Re: Witch in the KITCHEN!!!!!
 
From the author of "sistah vegan" :

"In 1998, I earned a B.A. in Feminist Geography..."

ummm..... :pirate:

Daisy Mae Johnson 02-02-2011 02:55 AM

Re: Witch in the KITCHEN!!!!!
 
I'm surprised none of these vile witches haven't put out a cookbook on how to cook babies. :thumbdown:

I hope everyone who reads this thread says a prayer out loud to rid themselves of the demons who have more than likely attached themselves to those pictures on those disgusting cookbooks.

You know demons can seep through your screen or come out of your device drives and straight in to your home!

BelieverInGod 02-02-2011 03:22 AM

Re: Witch in the KITCHEN!!!!!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Old Man Hatchet (Post 686811)
I find this cover despicable:

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/...SH20_OU01_.jpg

Obviously the nudity offends me, but I'm also outraged by the fact that the woman has fruit pressed against her milk bags. Am I supposed to want to eat a grape that's been touching a nipple? If this book becomes popular, woman everywhere will be smothering food with their chest muffins. I am positively nauseous.

Guys, wash your food to be on the safe side.

Actually brother, I don't think you're supposed to eat the grapes. I believe that these whores only cook for other whores. It's sickening.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daisy Mae Johnson (Post 686846)
I'm surprised none of these vile witches haven't put out a cookbook on how to cook babies. :thumbdown:

I hope everyone who viewed reads this thread says a prayer out loud to rid themselves of the demons who have more than likely attached themselves to those pictures on those disgusting cookbooks.

You know demons can seep through your screen or come out of your device drives and straight in to your home!

Perhaps the recipes are in there, I didn't actually open the books to look.

AngelaT 02-03-2011 07:43 AM

Re: Witch in the KITCHEN!!!!!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Nathan B. Forrest (Post 686826)
From the author of "sistah vegan" :

"In 1998, I earned a B.A. in Feminist Geography..."

ummm..... :pirate:

I'm new here, so I hope it's OK for me to comment. How can there be Feminist geography? That doesn't even make sense. Does she think countries move to somewhere else if you're a feminist??

Bible Student 02-03-2011 08:49 AM

Re: Witch in the KITCHEN!!!!!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by AngelaT (Post 687807)
Originally Posted by Nathan B. Forrest http://www.landoverbaptist.net/image...s/viewpost.gif
From the author of "sistah vegan" :

"In 1998, I earned a B.A. in Feminist Geography..."

ummm..... :pirate:

I'm new here, so I hope it's OK for me to comment. How can there be Feminist geography? That doesn't even make sense. Does she think countries move to somewhere else if you're a feminist??

One of the sub-disciplines of feminist geography is Queer Theory. Feminist geography is actually a legitimate study. It involves the effects women have on culture and geography. Most classes on geography are taught 99.99999% incorrectly. Properly taught, it can be a very interesting subject. Most of the people who developed feminist geography have weird French names, so that should tell you something.

I won't repeat those names in polite company.

AngelaT 02-03-2011 12:54 PM

Re: Witch in the KITCHEN!!!!!
 
Oh, I see. Thanks for that, Bible Student. That makes more sense.

Hank 02-03-2011 01:24 PM

Re: Witch in the KITCHEN!!!!!
 
I dont get it, how long will it be before Jesus comes down from heaven and finally smokes these heathens? :wacko:

SpiritualistGirl 02-04-2011 07:23 AM

Re: Witch in the KITCHEN!!!!!
 
I'm sure those weren't the only cookbooks they had.

BelieverInGod 02-04-2011 07:53 AM

Re: Witch in the KITCHEN!!!!!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by SpiritualistGirl (Post 688527)
I'm sure those weren't the only cookbooks they had.

Does that matter? They're offensive, they're UNAMERICAN!

THEY EVEN HAD BOOKS ON FRENCH COOKING!

Just leave me to my shame. I should have known not to go into such a communist establishment as a PUBLIC Library.

Pastor Ezekiel 02-22-2011 03:25 AM

Re: Witch in the KITCHEN!!!!!
 
The witchcraft is on the rise! :fear2:


BelieverInGod 02-24-2011 02:00 AM

Re: Witch in the KITCHEN!!!!!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel (Post 699023)
The witchcraft is on the rise! :fear2:


Liebrals shock me with how lazy they are. Stirring is too much work now? I'm amazed they're not all on respirators, considering how hard breathing is.

Sophia Chipman 03-25-2011 08:54 PM

Re: Witch in the KITCHEN!!!!!
 
In the Madison local library, there is a horrible book by a Satanist feminazi. I don't recall the name, but it BLASPHEMES God and says we should rejoice in the shameful thing we should do to make babies. Yuck!

Adam_Maudite 03-28-2011 07:15 AM

Re: Witch in the KITCHEN!!!!!
 
Near where I live filthy hippies hand out 'vegan' 'food' (and really, that stretches the term food) on the street in some kind of Food not Bombs terrorist organisation. What does that say about vegans that they can't tell their food from their satanic weapons. Here's a thought, maybe they make those covers so repugnant to God Fearing Christians because they contain plans for some sort of hippy weaponry. I know in the 60's they used to try to block the ends of rifles with plants in hopes they would backfire and kill the soldier carrying it, maybe 'vegan cooking' is just an extension of that?

Pure_Angel 04-07-2011 07:36 PM

Re: Witch in the KITCHEN!!!!!
 
"Vegeterian Goddess"... say what? "Goddess"?! :fear2:
That book is probably full of cucumbers and lessons on how to cook CHILDREN! (because the vegiterian thing is just a cover-up)

The True Christian Ladies of Freehol should make a cookbook themselves, I would love such a book... :wub:

MisterM 04-07-2011 08:40 PM

Re: Witch in the KITCHEN!!!!!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pure_Angel (Post 727350)
That book is probably full of cucumbers and lessons on how to cook CHILDREN!

I hope you have a stomach for this: I think they use to cucumbers with their naughty bits. That's how perverted they are. :shy:

Pure_Angel 04-07-2011 09:43 PM

Re: Witch in the KITCHEN!!!!!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by MisterM (Post 727396)
I hope you have a stomach for this: I think they use to cucumbers with their naughty bits. That's how perverted they are. :shy:

Do you mean they... fornicate with cucumbers? I don't know how to fornicate, so I don't know how would one do that but... with cucumbers? :o

They are real perverts thoose vegan people!

MisterM 04-08-2011 06:48 PM

Re: Witch in the KITCHEN!!!!!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pure_Angel (Post 727455)
Do you mean they... fornicate with cucumbers? I don't know how to fornicate, so I don't know how would one do that but... with cucumbers? :o

I won't draw you a picture and I really hope you don't try either. Only reason I know these things is that I'm trying to study the sin in my new study


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