Ask an ex pervert
Yes, I used to be a hard drinking fornicating sinner on the I-64 expressway to Hell! But I have been born again!
Praise Jesus! I cannot express in mere words how much my conversion has meant to me. But, my expreince during the dark times may be of use to you as a warning. God does everything for a reason. Ask me what you want and shameful as it may be I'll try to answer. |
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I only ask so that you can put the rumours to rest, Brother. |
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Have you ever committed incest?
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Mrs. rogers, I'll answer you later when I have more time. |
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Have you ever hidden in trees with binoculars outside women's bedrooms hoping to catch a glimpse of flesh?
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I once hid cameras in a girl's locker room. Satan's grasp is strong and only Jesus can save you. Alcohol is satan's bait.
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Things get a little fuzzy after that. Pink Harleys are an abdomination before God! I seem to remember balls on the table, but the ends of the cue sticks are sorry to offend "phallus" shaped. Me and Jeffers went in there and hollered, "hey, babes, we is here to show you what men are all about. Bend over and let us drive!" About that time I got whopped in the head by something and that's the last I remember until waking up in jail the next morning. Sheriff Swafford felt sorry for us and let us go. We had to pay for the damages at the bar, it seems we put up a bit of a fight, but for some strange reason all my body hair was gone. |
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I do want to make something very clear here. I am ashamed of the way i lived before I found Christ. I am only willing to undergo the humiliation of reliving these experiences in order to warn you what is out there if you let your guard down for a second and satan getss a grip on you!
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Brother, maybe you can possibly remember some of the places you used to "hang out" so we can be rid of Mrs Hellflingers questions? She can then go and play with real perverts to her hearts content. |
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Brother Eliot, why do preverts all wear those huge, tacky raincoats? They are way more than ample to hide their, uh, dubious... "Goodies."
Are pervs also heavily into Shoplifting, like say, big, choice hunks of Meat? Waiting, wondering, SUV |
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Elliot,
Is it true that perverts hang around at rest stop men’s rooms, like the ones on I-80, looking for TRUE Christians™ to force into depraved and disgusting sweaty man on man sex? If so do you have a list of these rest stop bathrooms were this happens so we can avoid them and not catch AIDs and the gay virus. |
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I'm sorry but I do have my own life and that does not include sitting in trees or basements with binoculars, eating cheetos, drinking wine coolers, and/or watching Hentai anime. Speaking of the above, in your ex-pervert days, did you do all of those things, Eliot? :D |
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I have a question for you Brother Eliot.
Adults who fantasize about prepubescent boys are certainly the gayest of all aren't they? Did you ever come into contact with any of these perverts during your lurid past? |
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I never had gay sex and wasn't at all interested in it! I was a red-blooded 100% Hetro pervert!
Hiroshima, the sex tapes were confiscated by Sheriff swafford, but strangely enough never entered into evidence at the trail, which is why I got off so easy. Hellsinker, the places I hung out in are probably long gone by now. As far as bathrooms go, do your business and get out! One word of advice, if you ever go into a booth at a porn store to see what kind of filth satan is propogating on the planet, never stick your eye in the holes between booths. You might get it poked out. Mr. Marshall, They are not only the gayest of all, they should be castrated with a dull rusty butterknife dipped in Hot sauce from Hell. |
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THis thread is very disturbing...
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Why do you find it disturbing? Does it bother you? You see when you let Jesus into your life you can conquer anything! I'm stronger than my perversions today. praise God and shout Glory! I have overcome. There's hope for you too.
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Brother Eliot, I have a question...have you ever dabbled in auto-erotic asphyxiation, and if so,
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