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-   -   howdy yall, im ready to except the lord jebus (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=116271)

kinkmedaddy69420 05-05-2019 02:16 AM

howdy yall, im ready to except the lord jebus
 
HEY GUYS :bye::bye::bye::bye:

im new here and i am ready to axceptt the almighty lord


gonna be lots good fun fixn and the changn over from what am currently be, but it gonn be reall real good i tell ya hwat :thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::innocent::wub::gath ering:

BibleReader2231 05-05-2019 02:27 AM

Re: howdy yall, im ready to except the lord jebus
 
Cautious welcome. Who’s Jebus?

Edit: Just showed my Pa your name and what you typed and he’s telling me to tell you that I should never speak to you again so bye.

Isabella White 05-05-2019 02:31 AM

Re: howdy yall, im ready to except the lord jebus
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by kinkmedaddy69420 (Post 1251217)
HEY GUYS :bye::bye::bye::bye:

im new here and i am ready to axceptt the almighty lord

gonna be lots good fun fixn and the changn over from what am currently be, but it gonn be reall real good i tell ya hwat :thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::innocent::wub::gath ering:

Dear Miss Kinkmedaddy: Greetings in :jesus-fancy:' precious Name, and :welcome: to our :true-american-2: assembly, here at :landover-fancy:. We are happy that you have found your way here to seek fellowship with us. Most importantly, we pray that you have decided, truly, to seek the :lord-fancy: :jesus-fancy: :christ-fancy:. I should mention that we are a "no nonsense" group of :true-fancy: believers here. You will find that all of our Scriptural references come from the :kjv1611:. We do not use any of those other watered-down versions, and we do not cherry-pick our favorite verses whilst ignoring others.

Perhaps you can favor us by telling us a bit about yourself, such as how you became saved by the :blood: of :jesus-fancy: :christ-fancy: (if that has happened), how you plan to serve the :lord-fancy: in order to avoid burning in :hell-2: forever, and what church you currently attend. We'd also love to know what your favorite Bible verse is.

I'd like to leave you with a Scriptural verse of particular significance, and one that you must consider very seriously: Romans 6:23 " For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."

May :god-fancy: richly bless you as you find :him-fancy: here, at :forum-fancy:, :landover-fancy:. We look forward to getting to know you. A blessed day to you, Miss. Sincerely, Isabella W.

Elmer G. White 05-05-2019 02:35 AM

Re: howdy yall, im ready to except the lord jebus
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by kinkmedaddy69420 (Post 1251217)
HEY GUYS :bye::bye::bye::bye:

im new here and i am ready to axceptt the almighty lord

gonna be lots good fun fixn and the changn over from what am currently be, but it gonn be reall real good i tell ya hwat :thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::innocent::wub::gath ering:

Dear person,

It is indeed possible that you could become of the the "least" - those of the retarded sinnerkind who can eventually know Jesus and serve Him in Eternity.

Hebrews 8:11
And they shall not teach every man his neighbour, and every man his brother, saying, Know the Lord: for all shall know me, from the least to the greatest.

However, there's a lot of Praying required to cleanse your spelling and your somewhat lame attempts to shock our community with the all-too-often utilized user-name bound numerological acronyms for mutual oral fornication and substance abuse - please let me ensure you that in our community there are many former fornicators with mankind as well as former addicts that have recovered due to Jesus.

So, instead of wasting your time on the manic psychological defense of outdated wit, why don't you pick up a Bible - a virtual one or actual vellum - and join us in study and Worship. We can help you overcome your retard ways if you just let Jesus in!


Yours in Christ,

Elmer :bye:

Isabella White 05-05-2019 02:40 AM

Re: howdy yall, im ready to except the lord jebus
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by BibleReader2231 (Post 1251218)
Cautious welcome. Whos Jebus?

Edit: Just showed my Pa your name and what you typed and hes telling me to tell you that I should never speak to you again so bye.

Amen, Sister Maxine! I'm just waiting for that newcomer to "reward" me with an insult for being so patient, kind and welcoming. Lord knows it was difficult overlooking such atrocious spelling and grammar! One wonders if this is our Nigerian friend with a new account??

Isabella White 05-05-2019 02:42 AM

Re: howdy yall, im ready to except the lord jebus
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Elmer G. White (Post 1251221)
Dear person,

It is indeed possible that you could become of the the "least" - those of the retarded sinnerkind who can eventually know Jesus and serve Him in Eternity.

Hebrews 8:11
And they shall not teach every man his neighbour, and every man his brother, saying, Know the Lord: for all shall know me, from the least to the greatest.

However, there's a lot of Praying required to cleanse your spelling and your somewhat lame attempts to shock our community with the all-too-often utilized user-name bound numerological acronyms for mutual oral fornication and substance abuse - please let me ensure you that in our community there are many former fornicators with mankind as well as former addicts that have recovered due to Jesus.

So, instead of wasting your time on the manic psychological defense of outdated wit, why don't you pick up a Bible - a virtual one or actual vellum - and join us in study and Worship. We can help you overcome your retard ways if you just let Jesus in!


Yours in Christ,

Elmer :bye:

Amen, and thank you, Brother White. It was all I could do to suppress the urge to bring out my red pencil and mark that introductory message with a big "F". A blessed evening to you, Dear. Sincerely, Isabella W.

Esther B. 05-05-2019 02:53 AM

Re: howdy yall, im ready to except the lord jebus
 
A very cautious welcome to you. Not only is your spelling and grammar atrocious, but you failed to follow the instructions at the top of the page. I hope you read Sister Isabella's post that features those instructions and follow her suggestions. I don't think you'll follow through, but if you do, I expect your writing to be better.

BibleReader2231 05-05-2019 02:53 AM

Re: howdy yall, im ready to except the lord jebus
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Isabella White (Post 1251222)
Amen, Sister Maxine! I'm just waiting for that newcomer to "reward" me with an insult for being so patient, kind and welcoming. Lord knows it was difficult overlooking such atrocious spelling and grammar! One wonders if this is our Nigerian friend with a new account??

Sister Isabella you are a blessed soul with so much godly insight. It very well could be the N̶i̶g̶g̶e̶r̶i̶a̶n̶ Nigerian trying to sneak it’s way back on here to insult our families more. I hope to be able to grow up to be just like you when I am older.

Mary Etheldreda 05-05-2019 02:54 AM

Re: howdy yall, im ready to except the lord jebus
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Elmer G. White (Post 1251221)
So, instead of wasting your time on the manic psychological defense of outdated wit, why don't you pick up a Bible - a virtual one or actual vellum - and join us in study and Worship. We can help you overcome your retard ways if you just let Jesus in!

Amen! Close out your 4chan tab and pick up your Bible! Come find Salvation! It's a trip!

Isabella White 05-05-2019 06:26 PM

Re: howdy yall, im ready to except the lord jebus
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by BibleReader2231 (Post 1251226)
Sister Isabella you are a blessed soul with so much godly insight. It very well could be the N̶i̶g̶g̶e̶r̶i̶a̶n̶ Nigerian trying to sneak it’s way back on here to insult our families more. I hope to be able to grow up to be just like you when I am older.

Why, thank you kindly, dear Sister Maxine. That is a very sweet compliment, and it makes my old heart feel good, to know that the light of :god-fancy: shines through me to inspire you. I will be sure to let you know if I hear of any more attacks from that Nigerian prince. It wouldn't surprise me if he tries to con us into believing that he wants our bank account information so he can "give" us millions of dollars. He will have to do better than that in order to fool this old woman, as I wait constantly on the :lord-fancy: in prayer!

Psalm 130:5,6:
5 I wait for the Lord, my soul doth wait, and in his word do I hope.
6 My soul waiteth for the Lord more than they that watch for the morning: I say, more than they that watch for the morning.

A blessed day to you, dear Sister. Sincerely, Isabella W.


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